No seriously, I do! Or just to run away from all of this shit.
After a week away from the stresses of home life, and having had time to normalise myself a little, within just 24 hours of returning its all just gone totally tits up!
While I have been away my sister has been taking care of business here, shopping, finances etc. However yesterday I needed the cashcard to get some bits as there was nothing in the fridge. On asking my sister where it was she said she had it as she needed it, but was not coming over that day, and that maybe I should have told her earlier that I needed it. Errm the arrangement was to leave it in the house unless immediately using it!
So this morning I have received a text saying in short there is only just over £30 in the account, and she is going to do some shopping now, so that probably means its all gone now. Problem here is there is just under £80 going in weekly. So either something has been misread, or something has gone terribly wrong. Either way, that leaves me very short for the rent this week.
Its hard to make sense of things by text, over the past week there have been a number of misunderstandings of what she has said by text, but all have worked out ok in the end. Hopefully this is another. And the £30 is from last weeks balance and this weeks £70-80 is not showing yet. Fingers crossed.
If this isn't the case, then I go back to what I said previously when this whole issue of who looks after the finances first started. Its stupid having two people managing one account. Especially when one is charged with rent, bills etc, and the other just the shopping. If one person was taking care of all of this, there would be no confusion or suspicion, just plain sailing. Since I took over in Nov there has been no shortage of food or anything else mum has needed, and the account has never been in a critically low state. But now within 2 weeks of this new arrangement, and we are already quite frankly in the shit! But why???
Hence I just want away from all of this, if only I could eh. Last week was so good for me, but already I can feel the wounds ripping back open again, and the stresses rising. This should be the most simple part of the whole process, money and food should not be a worry, mums health should be number 1.
Instead, she missed a hospital appointment last week because she said "I don't want to go", so no effort was made to make her go. Her memory issues have not been addressed even though they were highlighted to me a number of times in my absence, little time has been spent with her, even though there were reports of my sister being totally shattered from coming around 3 times a day.
Suddenly I feel like a superhero or something being able to stay on top of all this. And can also understand how I became so mentally exhausted, if its all really so much of an effort to manage. Strangely, as much as I have highlighted in the past, its never felt THAT bad!
So I'm lost for words right now, although reading up that's not strictly true I guess. I don't know what to think, or know how things are going to work out this week at all, but as ever, I'm sure I will manage somehow.
Watch this space!
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