Author: Michael Snasdell

Regardless of your plans tonight, forget your feelings towards the police, no matter how well you can handle your drink.....

NYE is historically a shocking night for the emergency services, record numbers of calls, huge numbers of alcohol related incidents, be it fights or accidents.

90% of the people who are dealt with by the police, ambulance and fire tonight are people who generally have some self respect, and appreciate the job these services do for us all. But a little too much confidence, getting a little too carried away, and one drink too many can end in disaster, heartbreak, and hours of effort from emergency responders.

So I ask this of you, when you see someone blind drunk staggering down the road, in front of cars, getting in peoples faces, vomiting, crying or screaming with emotions they cannot control, do you really see someone who is having a great time, and feel jealous, OR does a little part inside you cringe with embarrassment for them, and a tiny bit of pity creep out of you?

Excessive alcohol, its not big, its not clever, and generally its nether fun nor memorable. Give the extra fiver for that last drink to a charity, stay alert enough to remember your NYE, and most of all, get home safely.

Happy New Year all, and here's to a quiet one, and record LOW numbers of calls to the emergency services. And Thank You to all those working through the evening and into the morning to keep all the little morons who DON'T care about others, safe.

Regards

Michael

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Of 2012 at least, so let's take a quick look back at 2012, for me and for the world.

2012 will forever be the date that ignites thoughts and memories of the London Olympic games, the greatest of the modern era, the first of the social network age, and the biggest surprise ever to 99% of the UK poplulation, who like me thought it would be a flop. I won't go on about it, but it turned out to be pretty bloody good didn't it!

I turned 39, had a stress free birthday for the first time in 14 years for one reason or another. I also embarked on a mission which I tagged #Fit4Forty . With a year remaining til I turned 40, I decided now was the time to sort myself out, and that I did. Healthier than most years of my life, inspired to live a full life, and amazed at my own stamina, that was P90X for me.

2012 has also been pretty bloody miserable. Wars, disasters, accidents, and horrific news stories of abuse and violence. Its probably no different to the past decade to be fair, but as social media becomes part of our everyday lives, we suddenly become aware. Aware of our surroundings both locally and globally, and to be honest its a bit of an eye opener isn't it!

I think this year more than most has woken me up to a lot of things. Life is finite, at some point it will end, and we don't really get a say on the matter. Ill health, accidents, or incidents can end a life in seconds. Early in the year Darren Green passed away suddenly, that woke a lot of people up, and brought a lot of people closer together, and in some cases pushed some apart. From that point on the year has spiralled into one of some very sad events, especially for people I care about. With close friends and family passing, or suffering set backs.

From all this I take one thing... No matter how glum I get, regardless of how big the bills are coming though my door. If my luck is down, and the weather is crappy.. All I have to remember is to be grateful for everything I have. I live a life that I made for myself, I make my own choices, and this path is mine. You don't always get what you want in life, but getting another day with your loved ones is as precious as it gets.

I have been fortunate enough to see my aunt Joan a few times this year, and spend some great quality time with her, forging a bond and memories I can keep with me forever after her final day comes.
Things are progressing with her these days, but she still manages a laugh and a smile to signal that everything is ok.

So, 2012, certainly not all doom and gloom by far, some great and memorable moments. The next time the clock strikes midnight, 2012 will become LAST year, and we will move on. Things will be no different, new years resolutions will be smashed in days, horror and tragedy will fill our TV screens and stupid vile people drink drive throughout NYE, and 99.9% of people will wake up to their same lives on Tuesday..... But hey, let's be optimistic here.... Here's to a better year, joy, success, happiness and health.

Happy New Year all (for tomorrow)

Regards

Michael

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Almost 2 years ago today my landlord L&Q appointed Apollo to fit a new kitchen and bathroom to the house I live in. A couple of weeks of dust and noise was a small price to pay to have the rooms dragged kicking and screaming from the 70's.

Come January I had a lovely new kitchen, and a beautiful bathroom.

However. By the spring I started to notice the paint on the wall starting to blister a bit, and lift from the new plaster. This was the inside of the external facing wall. As the weeks went on more and more spots started to show through, until it became apparent there was a problem somewhere.
I reported it and requested someone come to take a look at it. Eventually the surveyor came out, took a look and identified a damp problem. After further investigation it appeared that an external soil pipe was leaking on the brickwork and had soaked it through.

By that winter, around December 2011 (1 year later) P&R Plumbers came out to fix the soil pipe. I was told by the surveyor that once this was done he would arrange for the walls to be dried out with machinery, and once that was done the walls could be repainted. Needless to say this didn't happen. So this year, for most of 2012 (I kid you not) I have been on and on at L&Q for them to finally rectify the mouldy, paint blistered walls.

By November I finally got the call to say it had the green light to go ahead and start the work. 3 day job to hack off the old plaster, sort the damp, re-plaster and return to usable form. So November 19th was the day it would all start, so booked annual leave. Sadly on Fri 16th I got a call to say they couldn't start on the Monday, so would have to squeeze it all in Thurs and Fri. A little too short notice for me to book more time off, so I made other arrangements for Chantal to be here.

Friday afternoon comes and the plaster packs up and leaves. Advising that the tiling, skimming and painting is NOT his job. He says he will be back on the Monday to do a couple of little bits. Monday comes, the guy shows up, does a few bits and that his part done. Apparently the contractor Bryhill had NOT agreed with L&Q to restore to full use at all. On leaving he told me he had somehow broken the toilet pan away from the floor, so this would need changing. And off he went.

At this point the state of the bathroom was, as follows, bath reinstalled but not silicone sealing anything like the gaps between the bath and wall, hand basin fully reinstalled, and a now rocking toilet, with floating cistern as it sits away from the wall and was not boxed in. Poor quality finish plastering still requiring skimming before it can be painted, no tiles on the splashbacks. So pretty useless.

The past couple of weeks have involved me calling Bryhill and L&Q and getting told its the other parties problem, and no one has taken responsibility. Eventually I get some joy, a supervisor from Bryhill visited, checked the toilet and said they would replace it. Hurrah I thought. Then out of the blue yesterday, first thing in the morning a plumber shows up, 'come to replace the toilet mate'. Was a surprise but a welcome one all the same. He comes in to see what he is replacing then shoots off to the suppliers for a replacement.

Now I should note at this point that when Apollo replaced the pan, they used a new type which sits about 1ft further forwards than the old flush wall mounted one I had. However this is apparently the new style, so it can't be helped!

45 mins later he is back. I let work know I had workers in so might be a bit late. A toilet is a simple swap out, but half an hour passes and all of a sudden drilling starts, and goes on.....and on.....and on. Half hour later I popped in to see what was up. Apparently the floor is knackered so he can't bolt it down. So he calls for a carpenter. The plan now is to build a box behind the cistern to bolt it to, then screw that to the wall, and silicone the pan to the floor, which is what they ended up doing. I was 3 hours late for work.

He was also kind enough to silicone around the bath so it was now usable.

Not a great fix, but fed up of the whole escapade I accepted it as it seemed workable. Obviously the tiling and painting were still outstanding. So on the way to work I called L&Q again and finally heard what I wanted. A contractor will come out next week to size the job up and do everything outstanding ASAP!

So today, to celebrate almost having a bathroom back I decided on a long hot soak in the bath. So I filled it up, and hopped in.

All of a sudden I can hear rushing water, I check its not overflowing, its not. So I sit up and the noise stops. Hmmm, strange, so I lay back down again, there it is again. Suddenly I am suspicious, each time the water reaches the overflow this noise starts. But its not the usual sound of water exiting the overflow. Eventually I'm too pissed off to stay in the bath so I hop out, get dressed and the fun begins.

After fighting it for a while I manage to remove the bath panel, and am SO angry at what I see.... The overflow has NO waste pipe attached, so the water is pouring onto the floor.

Enough is enough. The bathroom has been screwed since it was first done, and is slowly becoming a patchwork quilt of badly carried out repairs. I am sick to the back teeth of the poor workmanship, poor service from the housing association, and the crap attention to detail from the contractors.

I should also add that a few months after the bathroom was first completed the cold waterpipe behind the bath sprung a leak. Soaking the floor and bath panel. The pipes all had to be replaced, as did the bath panel.

I just want the whole thing re-done now, properly, once and for all. Is that unreasonable?
The floor can't have a toilet bolted to it, the walls need plastering properly, the bath needs plumbing in properly, the toilet needs securing, the tiling needs re-doing, the shrouding around the pipes is knackered. Surely its cheaper just to start over?

I don't know who wants to take responsibility for it, but between the following companies, you have made it a joke.

Bryhill
Apollo
P&R Plumbers
L&Q Group

Regards

Michael

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Months and months waiting to get the job started, weeks of a simple job dragging on, and finally we get to the stage where I can take a long soak in the bath again....

Oh hold on, apparently not!

Dear Bryhill, P&R Plumbers and L&Q..... YOU FUCKIN IDIOTS!!! This is NOT how you re-plumb a bath back in. Where is the overflow pipe numbnuts!

Regards

Michael

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To say the least! I have a habit when I am off work of watching PMQ's. Prime Ministers Questions. Now as everyone knows every now and then, we as citizens of this great country take time out to vote for someone to represent us and our local constituency on the national forum in the House of Commons. Rarely these days to we know much about these people and their background, in fact most don't even know what their plans are. Instead we take it back to playtime at infant school and vote for nothing more than our favourite colour.

There is daily outrage in the country about the state of the country, the leadership, the laws and the benefit system, yet so few people actually take the time to know what they are voting for at all. The grass is always greener, tackle some real crimes, lower taxes, pay my rent... All the usual shit that the uneducated and lazy people of the country moan about.

So back to PMQ's before I forget. WE, the people voted these people in. We, the people are responsible for each bum on the seat, and we the people are thoroughly embarrassed each time these people of power and responsibility act like a class full of 8yr olds with a supply teacher.
You would not accept a cop driving down the road, hanging out the window shouting get ya tits out. Nor a fireman whopping his chopper out to piss on a litter bin fire. If your milkman threw your bottles up your path, you would complain, and if your food at McDonalds is cold its the end of the world..... Yet time and time again we stand by and watch this bunch of childish clowns embarrass us on the world stage.

Never mind MP's expenses... I want them docked wages for every time they act like pre-pubecent teenagers in the underwear section of M&S. PMQ's is 30 mins to raise issues for future debate, question actions and get the whole house together for an address. Not for a food fight, not for jeering and sneering, and not for shouting each other down.

So please MP's... Learn to shut the fuck up, grow up, and behave in the civilised manner that the laws of this country dictate we live by in society. You are shameful and embarrassing.

Regards

Michael

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That's what makes things 'real' to us. We are presented with something, and from the facts we have, added to our beliefs, and spiced up with a little of our knowledge, we have real life. Or our perception of it at least.
The human mind is a complex thing, and given the way it works, it is hardly a surprise that with such a simple set of facts, we can be left with so many different opinions and beliefs from it all.

From an early age we start to form opinions, some we are guided on by our parents and significant peers, and others we develop through experiences we have, and how they work out.
Spiders, perceived by many as creepy and scary, but only because this is impressed upon us by our parents, and other older people from an early age. From this point on, we perceive a spider to mean danger, fear, and something to avoid. If we are able to open our mind enough to reassess this later in life, we can actually change our view of this.

The same can be said for so many other things in life, from religious belief, political belief, and even attitude towards sexuality. But these bigger things in life are rarely up for discussion or reassessment later in life. In fact, once we have a belief in these fields, most would struggle to reconsider.

Its not a bad thing as such, differences in opinion are what make conversation. Critical dialogue that is needed in day to day life in order to reach sensible decisions, and compromise. A decision immediately being unanimous is not a common thing, and we have opinion and perception to thank for this.

How dangerous would life be if it was as simple as an idea becoming reality with no further consideration of discussion. But at the same time, how great could things be if blinkered people could just see past their beliefs and be willing to consider other peoples thoughts, emotions and perceptions of a situation.

Sexuality, race, religion. Three of the greatest fighting points of mankind. Because we have differences there, and because it is beyond discussion and conversation, there is only one thing left. Hatred! And how crazy is that! (My perception of it anyway)

We have a beautiful gift called life, and really should be free to live it the way we choose to. There are of course moral issues here, and other peoples well being and happiness counts. So obviously rape, pillaging, and murder would be out of the question. After all we are 'civilised' now, or so we would believe. There we go again, perception!

A tribesman would have you believe that he is advanced, and comfortable, as would a playboy millionaire. Generations of families in the 3rd world have continued by reproduction at an annual rate, to ensure one offspring will survive. This is also true in nature, and 'acceptable'. However advanced, civilised society says the loss of a child us unacceptable and un-natural, therefore we fight against this with humanitarian aid. Sadly it is human nature to continue doing what we know, so while the advanced world continues saving lives, the 3rd world continues making them at a phenomenal rate, and the population continues to boom.

That's my perception of the world anyway. Religious people should embrace their OWN beliefs, and live within the boundaries that they set for themselves. While not bothering others of other beliefs with hatred and threatening behaviour.

People of all sexualities and races should be able to live together without prejudice. Why should one persons creed or colour dictate how we behave towards them, and why should someone who is attracted to someone of the same sex be frowned upon? It happens in the animal kingdom, to which we fundermentally belong to, and we watch on with amazement and nothing else. You don't kill a male dog for mounting another male dog for example.

I could go on all night, but will end by saying, the world you see, the world we all share...... Its all about perception. Open your mind a little, and take one moment to consider why someone acts the way they do, or thinks the thoughts they have.... Its really quite eductional!

Regards

Michael

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Ever had that feeling that you have been through something, done something or seen something before... Of course we all know what deja vu is, but other than that quirky feeling of 'I have been here before', have you ever REALLY been through something all over again?

Its never good things that happen over and over again either is it, have you noticed that? Only the bad things, the things that knock us back, push us off course and really mess with our minds. Over and over, like a bad repetitive dream.

Obviously you know where I am going with this, off on a wild rant about something non specific and vague, but with the aim of getting it off my chest. Naturally! So without messing about any more here goes.

Having one close relative of friend die is always tough on you, mentally, emotionally and as I have found sometimes physically too. Illness, depression, anger, and so many other things can crop up when we are going through something close to us. Someone passing is one thing, but someone slowly slipping away it something completely different. As I have said before, the hardest part of coping with a loss isn't so much the actually removal from existence of the loved one, but more the mechanics of how they are removed from our lives.
A tragic accident is short, swift and something we are presented with in a flash, and have to deal with. No choices or chances, just taken, in an instant. Tragic and hurtful, but we tend to move on quite well from these things. Left with only the happier memories of our times together, our mind is at rest.
However the other option is disease. Slow, painful and tragic. Sorry if I offend at this point, but you know I don't like to beat around the bush. Disease takes many loved ones from us all annually. We see them slowly slipping away, weakening, suffering, and fighting with all their strength. But the truth is, once the disease, cancer for example takes hold, the outcome is inevitable.

My journey with mum is very well documented I believe. The hard times, the good times, the fights with condition, and the fights with the family. Each time I read back and remind myself of something that happened, I can recall it with such clarity, it is as if it has just happened.
So having walked the path once, finding myself back on it again now with my aunt should be somewhat more predictable. And I have to say it is. Progress, condition, deterioration etc is no real shock to me, but then again I don't think anything  'unexpected' happened with mum either. I have read enough and seen enough about cancer to understand what it does and how things work.

I dint quite know why, but once again as we reach a pivotal part of the journey, and Joan's condition has taken a bit of a turn, I find myself frustrated. I have always known I would not be able to be there every day, but for some reason it seems to be stressing me out. Having been through a serious bout of depression and anxiety when mum was ill, I know what it feels like to start slipping back in that direction. The same way someone who drinks regularly knows when they are about to lose their legs, I can feel mine starting to buckle a little under me too.

Seeing the signs is one thing, but doing something about it, that's something totally different, and far easier said than done. Slowing down in activity, lacking interest in doing things, removing yourself from social situations, not being able to concentrate, and worst of all, deprived of sleep. All signs that things are not right in the brainbox division. Medication worked wonders last time with a lot of that, but that was never a road I was happy on, and would not be one I would choose to walk again given the choice. Never say never though, right?

Instead, this time I am trying alternatives, getting it off my chest as it arrives (hence blogging now), speaking to people about it, increasing physical activity to naturally release endorphins, and trying to stay social at every opportunity possible. I can only try right. So firstly I apologise, to my friends who I may start to bore with tales of me, me, me. People I may suddenly start talking to a hell of a lot, people on the same wave length as me. If at any time it gets too much, just say.

A lot has changed in my head since mum passed, and I would like to say I have become a stronger, more independent man, who lives in a way I feel I would have mad my mum proud. But I also live in the shadow of doom and gloom, that of Joan being so ill, and ever closer to leaving us. Its not something I shy from, and I think about it every day. Realising responsibilities, thinking of ways to make contact, and make each of her days something enjoyable and special. While at the same time remembering that time is not on our side, and any day could be the last.

Maybe its the not knowing, the uncertainty of time remaining that makes these things so hard. Going back to what I said earlier about the mechanics of a loss. One you were not expecting just happens, before you can blink, think or take another breath its over. With a long term situation you are tortured with wondering how long is left, what else you can achieve, and how you will cope. Twisting and contorting your mind in so many ways, driving yourself crazy trying to cope with something before it has even become reality.

I may sound cold in saying this, it may just be me who thinks it, but I cope far better with the actual death than I do with the build up. Passing is a part of life, a certainty, in my mind once the moment arrives, it passes quite quickly. But in some sort of weird mission to make everything right, when someone is ill, I am driven to do all I can in the situation, play any role I can, and make sure there is nothing left undone or unsaid.

The thing torturing my mind right now is timing. Making sure I see Joan again as many times as possible, and spend as many minutes and hours with her, just making sure all the silly things are done. We talked of having a Chinese takeaway, as she doesn't remember ever having one before, watching programs, discussing quandaries, and making the sort of conversations that delve deep into your mind, and remain there long after the conversation ends. I guess really what I want is memories, but that's natural, right?

You can probably tell by the scatty way this is written that my mind is not quite right at the moment, I certainly can. But I am trying here, trying hard not to let it get any worse. Hopefully next weekend I will see Joan, and clear my mind a little. Some honesty, some openness and some straight talking as ever. Fingers crossed as I re-join the motorway for the drive home, it will be the air rushing through my hair, and not the thoughts rushing through my head that accompany for the journey home.

PS, thank you to Rachel for being there on the phone yesterday when things were getting a little sketchy. x

Yup, that time where I  go off on a wild ramble that says a lot but amounts to nothing, kinda anyway.
I spoke to my aunt Joan's carer today, Chris, just to get an update on the situation with Joan's arm and shoulder. Last week when we spoke, the doctor was due to come out early this week to assess how the pain relief was working, and to see if the dose needed adjusting. Well the doctor decided that they were indeed having the desired effect, but a stronger dose would probably be better.

At this point I'm not sure what patches she is using, but do know the dose has risen from the initial 10mg to 25mg now, and as time goes on, use is returning to the arm. Not that Joan is willing to accept that they are working. In typical fashion she is a little against medication and modern medical practises, so she is standing her ground that its still causing a great deal of pain. HOWEVER.... Chris has noticed that Joan has returned to doing her crosswords, and is carrying out other functions which had previously become too painful to do.
So however you look at it, Joan is managing the pain and discomfort pretty well, hopefully its because the medication is taking it away. The doctor certainly feels this is the case.

Before my aunt was diagnosed with cancer I had never met her neighbour and now carer Chris. While visiting her to tell her mums secret of having breast cancer for a year back in 2008/2009, my aunt dropped her own bombshell by saying she too had found a lump, and just like mum she was reluctant to seek help for it. Feeling it was a foregone conclusion of what it was and how it would go, they both initially felt they would just go with the flow. Needless to say this was NOT to be the case.
After the diagnosis and speaking to Joan I heard that Chris, her long time trusted neighbour, had agreed to care for her in an official capacity.

The first time I visited after hearing this, I went to visit Chris and her husband who live just over the road from my aunt, and at this point I guess you can say we both formally interviewed each other, trying to make sense of the others intention in the situation. I think it is fair to say that by the end of it we had built a lot of trust and respect for each other, so we were in a happy place to move forwards in Joan's best interests.
As time has gone on, the conversations between myself and Chris have become increasingly open and blunt, discussing mortality, relatives, and care regularly and without holding back.

I received a call from Chris about a week ago, late one evening, and this is when I first learned of the current issues Joan is having with her shoulder. Chris has been great from day 1 keeping me up to date with appointments, and anything going on in Joan's life that she felt I should know about, including any changes in Joan's condition and moods. We spoke again tonight and she updated me on the situation with doctors comments and opinions, and how things were going. The doctor saying she still feels the pain is caused mainly by arthritis and a frozen shoulder, and not primarily a spread or progression of the cancer.

However she went on to say that Joan's appetite is slowly dropping away to nothing, and that she is losing a fair bit of weight now. Saying that I would notice a chance the next time I see her. This of course is not great news, but at the same time mum did go on and off her food from time to time, so it is in no way any sort of life force indicator that suggests the end is nigh or anything else so sinister.

So, all these facts, but no personal comments from me yet, strange or what, Well here goes.
I wont say its an easy thing. I do know what lays ahead, and if the truth be known I feel like after many childhood and adolescent years, I am finally getting to know my aunt. A long time in the making, and the timing kinda sucks really. But at the same time I am in a position both mentally and in life where I feel comfortable with the conversations we have. I feel educated enough to engage in long meaningful conversations, and we have fun. We laugh, we talk about serious matters, but most importantly we connect. I have spent hours with some people, days and weeks even at times, and really not clicked. However with Joan its just there. Not a family thing, just a level that we are both on.

I don't know how else to explain it, maybe its my mind playing trickery with me, and separating family and friendship to make the whole matter easier to work through. Either way, at this point in my life I feel like I have bonded with a great friend, and in doing so I have opened myself up for them. Whenever we spend time together I feel like I have brought her some strength and happiness, and leave her a little more revitalised than she was when I arrived. I know when I leave there, I certainly feel that way. Always with a smile, and always with a deep warm feeling in my heart. Am I ready to let that go, of course not. And I wish, just like with mum that I could do something to extend their time. The whole situation was the same with mum, visiting her at the hospital, hospice or home, I always felt that regardless of time spent there, 15 mins of 5 hours, it was always time well spent, and I felt I was doing not only what was morally right, but what was good for both parties too.

As it becomes more obvious that we are about to lose a loved one, as their time with us begins to fade, regardless of our relationship with the person, no matter how long we have known them, there are certain things that really make coping with a persons passing a little easier, for me at least.
When it was clear from what he was telling me that Graeme didnt have much time left, I made a point of visiting him, spending some quality time with him, and just relaxing. Letting both conversation and silence flow when it felt natural, and making sure that we both had the opportunities to say our peace. Not our goodbyes, that would be far too sombre, and would be accepting THE END.But instead allowing closure on certain aspects of our lives, and to make sure we share common grounds on our last page in life together.

The same was true with mum, having had quite a strange relationship with her for many years, and sometimes lacking a little respect. It was important for me to restore that respect, and make sure that she knew deep within her heart that I loved and respected her every day of my life, and that I was grateful for the gift of life she had given me. Now as another close loved one clocks up their last few miles, I have made it my mission to give back. For all the kindness she has given from so far away for so long now. Just like my other aunts, offering financial assistance where possible, and making sure we never went without, it is my turn to repay the gift, and to make sure I am there to support and assist her whenever and however I can.

In the next week or two I will take a trip up there, before there is any cause to, so to speak. I don't want my next visit to be because I have got word that she has declined, or is feeling worse in any way.  I guess in reality I cant actually control that, and that at some point before one of my visits, I will get a call that suggests  I go sooner rather than later. But if I can beat it this time around, that's one more time we won, and didn't allow life to dictate to us what our next action should be. 'We' as in me and Joan.

So, that's the starts of what's in my head right now. I would love for one more Xmas together with my aunt, in a condition where she can enjoy it, and who knows maybe even another birthday for her too. I won't go setting time scales here as no one knows what's around the corner. But I would be lying if I said its not reached the stage of playing on my mind, and appearing in my thoughts and dreams at night now. I really don't want that day to come, but know that when it does, she has been cared for in every way possible til the end. I also know that she is receiving the best possible care, and I am eternally grateful to Chris for all the long hours she puts in taking care of Joan, so sincerely, thank you Chris, from the bottom of my heart.

So I shall leave it there now, the dogs need feeding, my back is aching and my mind is dangerously close to getting moody.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. More will follow for sure.

Yup even the BEST ones can go wrong, and that's what's happened to me today. The final hurdle on what was meant to be something cool, and I fell!

All worked out in my head, and all set to be fun, but of course it wasn't going to go to plan was it.

Maybe I will start to believe in what I used to, the more excited you get about something, the less likely it is to happen. Sure feels that way at times.

Well as Avril Lavigne is screaming in my ears right '.....just keep on laughing, one things for sure, there's always a brand new day'

Such is life, fuck it, I'm gifted, I'm ALIVE!

Regards

Michael

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