Over the past couple of weeks, as my dose of meds has slowly reduced I have noticed a few changes. Sleep takes a little longer to happen, dreams are a bit weird, and most notable is the increase in sensitivity to sounds.
For a couple of weeks I have been isolated to an extent, due to healing from the op, so I had not noticed any change. But as soon as I was back out there last week, it was like an overload of sounds all at once. Part of that might have been the time spent away from such environments, but I am pretty sure some of it is as a result of the meds too. Or lack thereof.
The other day while out riding I noticed I was feeling overwhelmed in Parliament Square, hearing my music, the background noises of the tourists, and the sound of bagpipes plays. Bit of a clash at the best of times, but on this occasion I felt like I wanted to leave as soon as humanly possible.
Again while out having lunch with a friend at the weekend, we chose to sit in a bar with music playing, which also had a family group eating in there too. Towards the end of their meal the kids became unsettled, and the crying and moaning really became an issue for me. Not their fault I know, but that was just how I felt.
Thankfully they left, and our conversation continued, speaking with slightly raised voices over the music, but not terrible. A short while later two other groups came in too. Each speaking with raised voices as well. I tried for as long as I could, but I felt myself disengaging from the conversation, and twitching to leave the bar. Until I had to say, "I need to leave". Thankfully we had finished eating a while before, and the bill was settled haha.
I know this has always been an issue for me, sounds clashing, inability to focus, and a sense of being overwhelmed. Each time I am on meds I think I forget what it feels like until around now, then it is full on. So I am being mindful to try and control the situations I put myself in to minimise it happening. For example, being in a busy airport, or on a plane packed with families for a long haul trip. Oh .... wait ! lol
It's OK though, noise cancelling headphones to the rescue. Fingers crossed if it all gets too much, they will help numb it a bit. And of course, the reward is spending two weeks in far more relaxing surroundings.
Here ends todays update. Early days, a long way to go, but challenging myself to notice changes in mood and state of mind is helpful in the long run. It helps me find my limits and boundaries, and most of all hopefully helps me navigate day to day life without any more big wobbles for as long as possible.