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Just can’t let it go..

One of the worst parts about being a chronic over-thinker is the inability to let things go. There is no such thing as a fleeting moment, more a lingering chapter. A simple bad encounter, with an unwanted conclusion can start a long long process of over-thinking, re-enacting, and dwelling on something absolutely pointless.

Point and case, a dream. Last night I had a dream, a very short one that I shall run through below. Pretty meaningless, far from dramatic, but I could NOT let it go. So much so that I am writing this entry now, as it was such a good example of how petty my mind can be at times. 

The dream..... I was driving down a narrow road, a van stopped in front of me, and the driver got out to make a delivery. After trying to get his attention, I approached him and indicated either he move or I would break glass all over his interior (dreams are weird huh!). For some reason, I offered to deliver the package for him if he just moved the van. On attempting to deliver the package, I could not hear what the person at the door was saying, when I eventually could, he said it was not for him, he was sick of telling people that, and if I knocked again he would beat me up. This lead to a verbal altercation. I left, then that was the end of the dream.

Pretty random right, and a bit of a WTF moment if I am honest. However, I woke on its conclusion, then for some reason lay there for 30 mins replaying it in my head. Heart beating faster, unable to let it go, playing out different endings to the scenario. What I could have said or done differently, should I have had a fight and so on. 

The truth of the matter is, if I had just waited another minute, without getting into the situation, the moment would have passed without escalating. And I think (now I write this) that this was the lesson from the dream. Sometimes some things are just not worth getting involved in, as they cause more drama than it is worth, for absolutely no benefit whatsoever. There are certainly some things in life right now that this relates to, so brain I hear you loud and clear.

But brain.... let it go, it was a frickin dream.

So there you go, if a dream about a made up scenario can elevate the heart rate, create stress, and start a spiral of over-thinking, imagine what a real situation, with potential consequences does! I can tell you, it's not pretty, and a struggle to get out of the spiral once it starts. That said, I have gotten better at breaking the cycle these days. Refocusing, a little mindfulness exercise, focus on breathing, feel my heart slowing and I can ease the stress. Does it get rid of the bad thought, nope. But does it give my mind some respite, and allow me to get on with life normally for a while, yes indeed. 

Right, time to get the day started, and forget about that stupid van driver.

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