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Shit start to the week..

After a crap night's sleep, another week begins, and we are off to a crappy one. Back was really hurting last night, so my sleep was really poor. As a result I have woken tired and grumpy, and with absolutely no motivation to do anything. 

Monday morning should be go for a run morning. It's a cool morning, fresh air, still and overcast. Perfect running weather, but I have a two pronged excuse. My back aches and I didn't get much rest so am not very fresh. Not to mention I really can't be bothered. 

Usually, I would push myself to at least have a little run, but right now my brain is loving the excuses. There is still hope, as I write this I an trying to convince myself to just have a tiny gentle 5k at least. We shall see. 

But this is a state of mind I hate the most. Rather than just having an "aah f**k it" day, in my head I am spiralling downwards into depression. Under normal circumstances I have times when being active just doesn't appeal, so I don't bother. Nothing unusual there. But having something to blame that mindset on, and turn it into something it's not is more fun for the over active mind. 

Reality is my back has been hurting for too long now, and I need to get it sorted by rest and maybe seeing someone. Taking a break from running and cycling is probably a good idea for a week, like I did with my calf too. But for some reason my obsession with both continues, and if I don't do either, I feel I am getting fat and letting myself down. Add to that the amount of comfort eating I have done in the past week, and the mental images of how I will look in a weeks time if I DON'T run or ride are horrendous. 

I think it's for the best physically that I take a day or two out, do some stretching and yoga maybe, and recharge a bit. This is me being in control, not circumstances dictating what I can and can't do, nor my brain forcing me to do things which cause me pain. 

So there brain, take that... I decided, me... Not you! 

Have a good week all. 

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