As of first thing this morning that horrible feeing of duty returned, and I awoke with the same old feeling of routine and responsibility. Its mums first full day back at home, and the first day the carers hae returned, so here I sit couped up with the dogs, while the carer tends to mum. My mind is sinking quicker than the Titanic right now, so I'm doing all I can to try and keep my mind focused on better things.
The reality is, once I have the hallway door up, (will have to be done today), then I can leave the dogs in the hallway, and mum and the carer will have all they need in the front of the house. This means the carers can come and go as they please, and I won't be tied down by the times they visit. Which also means I get a little freedom back.
Its hard to try and explain to people how my mind has worked with all this. Seems a bit pathetic to say I am stuck at home, but because of the visits, appointments and mums occasional fragile state, its hard to commit to getting away without worrying constantly.
So here we are, carer is here, thankfully its one mum is familiar with, so things are off to a good start. Also today I have to speak to the agency about the afternoon carer coming later in the day. 3-4pm would be good as it spreads out the visits, and allows my sister to come at lunch time when she has less on her plate.
Got a whole load of other "me" stuff to take care of, the list seems trivial but endless (to my mind anyway) so I need to knuckle down and get that all sorted out too. As well as buying and fitting this hallway door (missions!!) Then just to check the damn thing will hold the dogs back properly. My DIY skills leave a lot to be desired, so wish me luck with that.
Right, I better crack on, first things first, breakfast and paperwork.
Catch ya later
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