OK I was doing a meditation session on Calm today, and it was about finding your ground, your home base. Some of the wording took my mind off on a tangent for a bit, and this is what I came up with. Bear with me, it's a bit weird.
The other day speaking to a friend I was trying to find an analogy for the course of anxiety. Before doing something the anxiety starts, then a wave of uncertainty, a lasting feeling of doom, and eventually it settles down. A bit like Jenga, removing a tricky brick, the stack starts to wave, there is a possibility of collapse, but usually it settles.
Unfortunately on Googling it, I was just repeating what has been said before. Damnit. I was so sure that was a great new thing.
Anyway, back to today. I made my own up. Well truth be told I haven't Googled this one yet, but I like it anyway.
Imagine a pond. Beautiful clear water, at the bottom hard rock. Between the rock and water lays a layer of silt. How thick that silt is is individual, as is the depth of the water. But underpinning the whole thing is the rock. Definitely there, although sometimes it feels like it's all loose silt.
Most peoples anxiety ponds is deep water. A thick skin so to speak, able to absorb shock and weather the storm. Occasionally the winds really pick up and cause the water to become unsettled. Deep below the surface on the most extreme of these days the silt gets kicked up a little, and for the bottom few inches of the water it gets a little cloudy for a while. As the storm passes and the water become still once more, the silt settles again with ease, leaving our pond crystal clear again.
However for some of us, the silt is deeper and lighter, the water much more shallow. The shallower our waters, the more vulnerable we are to things becoming unsettled. Anything more than a gentle breeze and the water gets moving, stirring up the silt. Within minutes leaving our pond thick and cloudy. Now even the slightest of breezes keeps the water moving and stops the silt from settling.
Leaving our pond (mind) cloudy for prolonged periods of time, and never getting a chance to settle. For as long as there is a breeze, there will be no peace, no clear water, and no normality.
In a perfect world we could put more water in the pond, but that's just not how nature works. Instead we are left with one option.
That is what today's mindfulness session was about. Taking a moment, sitting still for a short time, and sheltering from the wind. Letting the silt in our minds settle, and allowing the way forward to clear.
Told you it was a bit out there. But now, that is my home base, that is my visualisation for meditation. Going back to my scuba days, I am familiar with silt kick up, and watching how it behaves. So I can picture myself at the bottom of the lake, listening to my breathing through the regs, and watching the silt settle, until my mind clears enough to carry on.
Hope you can make sense of it. Either way, I like it and that's all that matters.