It's fair to say it's been a bit full on over the past week. A lot to take on, a lot to digest, and of course a lot to do moving forward.
While we await the details of the cuts, confirmations that each of our roles is indeed being cut, and each person being made redundant, rather than redeployment, it is important to stay on top of things. Using the time wisely to make sure I am moving in the right direction if and when the time comes..
From what has been said, and how it's been worded, I get the impression that redeployment will be minimal. Having been told on the call to actively look for other roles ourselves on the HR site, it doesn't sound at least like there are going to be offers of roles. Certainly not for the masses.
As any regular reader will know, I have already started my own process and have an interview soon, so should it be redundancy for me, I will already be making moves in the right direction. Of course I don't see any job I apply for as "in the bag". It's a tough world out there and the likelihood of walking into the first job I apply for after 24 years is rather slim. But, got to stay positive.
Having spent the past week flogging myself with exercise, spending time doing the legwork to apply for a new job, and contemplating what comes next and how it will play out. I today thought it was time to come and sit in the countryside and breathe for a bit. Put the stress and over thinking to one side, and just be present for a moment. He said sitting on a bench in the woods by the lake, on his phone writing this blog... And yes my fingers are freezing!
I have to be honest, I have not given myself much time to think of the negatives, so wanted to take a step back for a moment and see if anything floated up. Is there anything in the background secretly worrying me? Does it just need time to come out? This is after all me we are talking about.
But it seems not. Of course there are things that rattle through my brain, maybe call it mild doubt and concern. My main things now are...
What if they offer me a role I can't refuse but hate?
What if the redundancy pay is really bad?
What if I interview really badly and can't get a job?
To be fair the last one isn't too big a deal. I'm not too proud to take any job I can get. Obviously I have preferences, and would like to get into something I can make a difference doing. But in the short term, I'm not afraid of hard work of any kind.
I, well we have had it really good for years now, especially post Covid. It has been dreamy working from home, and doing the role I have done. But I see this as an opportunity to break free of the restraints and take a step forward. So roles I am looking at challenge me in a number of ways. Precisely for that reason.
Well... I can't feel my hands anymore, so am going to head back to the car. But I think I have established that my mind is quite happy right now. Sleep has been good, I feel well rested and alert.
Now if we can just get a date for the one-to-one meetings, and it be soon, that would be amazing. That is really the only thing weighing on me right now.
Thanks for reading, I am going to go and try and get some feeling back in my hands.