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Published on 2 Comments on Well done to mum today.

Well its been a very physical day for me today, but let me open with the main point of this entry. My mum, good ol' girl.

I took her to Battersea Park today, I'm slowly upping the scale of the challenge for her, each time choosing a location and route that is manageable but can be cut short. While having interesting surroundings which inspire wholesome conversations.

So today's location, Battersea. A little bigger in circumference than Dulwich I would think, and plenty to look at (a mens hockey game certainly caught her eye lol). Its a lovely park, one full of memories for me, and one of my favourite places in London to relax. So much going on, yet so peaceful too.

When we got there I parked up by the meter, and fed it with the £2 minimum which bought us two hours. After getting mum and the chair out of the car I checked the time on the ticket and said out loud "two hours that should do". Mum replied something to the effect of there was no way we would be that long as she could not walk for that long. Needless to say she was right. She only managed an hour and 49 minutes lol. Bloody well done. Not sure on the distance but a good show! She was very surprised but pleased with herself.

Now to find a bigger challenge for tomorrow lol.

The rest of the day has been pretty ok. Let the carer in this morning, then the daily routine of breakfast (shake) for me, fed the dogs, swept the floors, cleared the garden of doggyness, however I am ashamed to say I forgot mums meds, she actually reminded me today, oops!

When I came back from the morning five miles with the dogs, the carer was waiting on the doorstep, early if you would believe it. Terrified of Aana she stood back while I opened the door, all the time commenting on how cuddly Aana looks.

After finding mum and greeting her they went to the kitchen where they sat and chatted. Mum had some toast and tea for lunch, and they spent the next almost 30 mins chatting and laughing their hearts out. Its refreshing to both see mum and the carer bonding now, and also mum socialising and being so happy and jovial.

Later as we drove to the park she got talking about her hair loss, and commented on the suggestions people made, and how she wants to do her own thing, as its one of the only things she can control. The topic swayed about from talking about what stresses and depresses you, to how you cope with the things that bother you. Another bonding and memorable moment there, where mum has opened up for a bit and let me in.
I mentioned to her during the conversation that it was clear to me that there are still things on her mind that she needs to get out, but that I respect her wishes on how and who she chooses to do that with.

Phew so there you go, digging deep mentally, emotionally and physically all on one day.
Regards
Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on Dulwich Park.

Just got back from a lovely walk in the park with mum. All part of her keeping moving plan, giving her some exercise, physio etc. Just got to work out how to get her moving her upper body too and build up some strength there.

She has done really well walking, managing a complete lap of the outer circle and then a lap of the lake too. All at a good pace, without rest. Very impressive if I do say so myself.

Shame it started raining, but we had a good "rush" back to the car. I have to say the conversation was wonderful too. Warms the heart having a chat like that with mum.
Regards
Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on Yaaaaaawwwn!…. Morning.

Well I don't know if it was the relief of finally getting the meeting with work out of the way, or maybe its the new dose of drugs I'm taking (not sleeping pills). Either way, I had a really good night of sleep last night. Woke a few times to noises I heard, like mum walking around the house, but settled much faster and feel much more willing to get up this morning.

Amazing what a change of state of mind can do, whether it be drug induced or not, it was much needed. So now I can try and get a few more awkward things out of the way today, like those damned council tax benefits people. Although I am still avoiding thinking about it too much mentally.
Not sure what sort of plan they are going to put in place to pay off the arrears, which funnily enough are their fault, but hey ho!

Another positive today too, the carer is running late today, within 3 mins of her expected time here, the phone rang. It was the agency informing us she was running late, which was much appreciated. The lateness is a pain but have nothing urgent planned this morning, so that's ok.

Just managed to book mums appointment for the GP for Monday, took a while to get through on the phone, so I took the first appointment they offered. As I hung up I realised there was something wrong with that, and sure enough I was right. The appointment clashes with my appointment with the family worker at St Christophers.
But with my clearer mind, within seconds we have a solution. Mum can come to St Christophers with me, she can relax in the lounge, and we can leave 10 mins before her appointment. Win-win I believe that is called.

Right I better get on, the 9am regime calls. (More like 9.45 today as the carer is still not here)

Have a great day, its almost the weekend.
Regards
Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on Phew, that’s a relief!

A day I have been dreading, almost over with now. With a weight off my mind for the time being suddenly everything becomes a little clearer.
Today I have had two very important appointments (for me anyway). Firstly there was the GP, who is no easy rider. So speaking to him about how I am feeling is not the easiest of things to do. Trying to explain how down you feel, without sounding like an over dramatic drama queen is quite an ordeal. However as he knows mums medical condition too he was understanding.
In short he has doubled my medication, and signed me off for a further 4 weeks. Which is a relief in itself as it allows me more time to focus on the right things, rather than worrying about smaller insignificant details of life.

The second event of the day was a home visit from work. Standard practice for employees on long term sick, which I more than qualify as now. Now while I have nothing to hide, and am confident that all would be well, I have the cloud of doom and gloom over me recently, so feel that anything I do MUST have a negative side. So for some reason was expecting a rough time of things.

So Dave and Michelle arrived, and immediately I felt I was at ease, some tension was released. The conversation was very much informal, so didn't feel like I was under oath and on the stand. We talked for some time, discussing what's going on with me, how I'm feeling, and how I see things panning out over coming weeks of months. I was quite open and honest about everything, in fact maybe too open as there were times of discomfort clearly visible.

Anyway, the outcome is quite a relief, with a referral to the occupational health worker for Fedex (PHC) some time next week, a review on the situation the week after, and then see if a plan can be put into place to look towards returning to work in some capacity when the sick note runs out. That's an ideal in my mind anyway, as I would love to get back to work and get some structure back in my life.

With appointments all over the place for the next few weeks, I am hoping all the pieces will slowly start to slot together soon, and I can start getting myself back together, and on top of all the little things in life that I have put to one side, council tax for one, but I will come to that. So fingers crossed, positive thinking, PMA!

So yes, I mentioned council tax. A few months ago when we were transferring the tenancy over from mum to me, I wrote to Lewisham asking about how I go about taking over the payments... After 3 months of asking and getting stupid replies back I finally got an answer. I basically said "you owe us £637, pay up"
Right so I have been asking for months, then you just back date it and demand it, just like that.... Well quite frankly... BOLLOX!
After receiving the letter mid December I have stressed about it no end, until today.
As the meeting with work ended, I felt a release of stress and my mind cleared a little. Now looking at the letters I know exactly what I feel about it all, how I'm going to deal with it and where I stand. Rather than in a deep hole sinking fast.

While I have just discovered mum is no longer entitled to benefits towards the council tax, suddenly it all seems a bit more manageable. Just need to speak to someone about paying off the 3 months of arrears caused by their lazy office staff not getting the account sorted, then I'm sailing!

So here's to a more positive outlook on certain aspects of life. Clearer thinking and a smoother ride.

Thanks for reading an epic entry... Can you tell I'm a little happier? Lol
Regards
Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on Brisbane, it just dawned on me.

I am currently sitting at home sulking that its raining because I can't take mum out for a walk. As I sulk I look at the TV, and what's going on in Australia, Brisbane to be precise. Unbelievable scenes out there, and with the river expected to rise, its only going to get worse.

Can't really say much more other than I am humbled by their spirits in the face of such devastation. I wish you all well over the coming hours as the waters rise, and hope the damage is as little as possible, and that normality returns asap.

Take care Aussies.

Regards

Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on The headache from hell.

Forgive the break from blogging, I have been trying to shake the headache from hell for the past 3 days now, without much success I should add. So screens, lights and other such bright things have been a bit painful. Good thing there is no sign of the sun, or I would really be in trouble by now.

So, past few days, been a little bit manic to say the least, with appointments to arrange and attend etc but we are getting there.

The other big change is, the diet is back. Over the past couple of months, with depression setting in quite deep, comfort eating became the thing to do. Needless to say, the weight has piled on nicely. So its time to tackle it. Best way for me to get a good start is to go down the ketosis route. So for the next week or 4 I will be back on the liquid only routine, just until everything is under control. Funnily enough its probably this that has caused the headaches. Dropping Diet Coke, and Pepsi Max from your daily intake starves the body of its much loved caffeine, which in turn causes headaches. But my breakfast vanilla shake with a spoon of coffee should sort that out.

Mum on the other hand is coming on leaps and bounds right now. For the third day we have been to a third park for her to go for a stroll behind her wheelchair. She is loving it and admitting to the benefits of being more active. The speed she toddles along at is surprising me to be honest as its quite a pace. Not to mention the inclines she tackles too. All without too much breathing difficulty. Even her cough has eased up somewhat.

So yesterdays appointment was with the Audiology Dept to see about getting mums hearing aid. I have to admit I loved the office the audiologist has, a sound proof room. I had forgotten what silence sounds like. So he did his tests, and is fitting mum in for an emergency clinic next week to have a good clearout of her ear and then fit her with a temporary hearing aid. She seems quite happy about that. Fingers crossed this can all be quite quick and she can get back to watching TV etc without headphones.

I do have to apologise to mum over one thing. Hairloss. Her hair is indeed now coming out at quite a rate. But as the days pass, she is less distressed about it and more concerned and focused on solutions, what to go for, a wig, a hat etc. Nice to hear her positive side coming through again. Well done mum.
We are still not sure what extent the loss may be, but today might hold some answers. We are off to St Christophers Hospice this morning to see the nurse Karen, and one of the doctors there. The idea being that it will finally get mums feet through the door of the hospice, and she can begin to warm to the idea of visiting there once a week to have some downtime (for me too) and socialise a little bit. Hopefully this will build a little confidence and make her feel a little less alone in the whole experience.

So I guess I better get my day started, carer is 45 mins late already today, still not shown up, which leaves the rest of the morning a bit of a rush. Got to feed the dogs, get mum ready and get to the hospice for 10am. Will manage ok, but I hate my schedule being thrown out by other people (little grrr) I did however manage to get the doctors booked up which is a weight off my mind. Meds running out as well as becoming less effective now, so a review is a must.

That's tomorrow, when I also have a home visit from work. Would not mind a day off right now!

Have a good day, its miserable out there, so wrap up.

Regards
Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on Thank you to Virgin Media.

OK first off I should say, up to this point I have loved every minute of being a Virgin customer. Sure there have been a few little nagging points, but all have been addressed successfully.... Until now.

After numerous pop ups and emails from Virgin saying "hey customer, protect your computer" (or words to that effect) I gave in and installed it. It looked simple enough and nice to use. Once installed it ran a full scan, found a few files and stuff then asked me to restart, so I did.

That's when it went wrong, Blue Screen Of Death (BSOD) was immediate, and the PC has not started since. On checking the support forums and posting I have been told, if it will start in safe mode we might be able to help, other wise, sorry.

Sure I can whip the drive out, make it a slave, install another HDD with an OS on it, and retrieve the data from the drive, but come on, I installed this shit to make my computer safe, not kill it.

I am sure it never would have happened with a Mac, Apple would have fixed it for me while plying me with coffee and donuts etc, but its NOT a Mac lol.

So I am left trawling the net looking for ways to save the PC without going through all the above drama.

My advice... Think twice before installing this software!

Regards

Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on Its that time again!

Yup, a new years dawns, but its not because of that. Just recently I have realised how much I have been binge eating, and swore blind that as soon as I could get in the right frame of mind I would snap out of it.... So here I am.

The plan is to try and get into the routine of shakes and a severe diet for a few weeks, and see where we go from there.

The morning has been a little hectic to say the least, so believe it or not, the return to shakes is a welcome and well timed one. 1 minute meals are great, so little fuss, no cooking, and very little washing up. Now I just have to stick to it lol.

So far this morning has consisted of, up early to let the carer in, call the doctors, let workman in for the bathroom, meds for mum, feed the dogs, breakfast for me, and now time to exercise the dogs.

After that its carer in the afternoon, sister visiting, then do mums lunch and meds. Then off out to give mum some exercise.... And so on. Phew.

Had a very early night last night, so feeling a little fresher this morning, so that's a step in the right direction.

Right off to see how the day goes.

Have a good one.

Regards

Michael

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