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It’s my birthday…

... and I really don't give a crap!
Feb 14th comes and goes every year,  same razzmatazz,  nothing changes except for the age I give when asked,  and my demographic in some cases. 43 this year,  and mentally I feel every year of it. Behaviour and physically of course are other matters entirely. I have ducked out of the whole of February for years now,  and as the years pass,  I have more and more reason to do so. This year especially. Of course it's that V day thing too,  and yeah,  I have no one,  sob bloody sob!

So this year I am going to do it differently... Oh tell a lie,  no I'm not. I'm going off the grid, out of London and spending some me time. Mainly driving,  probably mostly stuck in traffic, but it's a big middle finger up to the expectations of the date. I'm not sulking (much)  not boycotting (not totally),  just refusing to conform,  and being a lonely old bastard.  After all its what I do best.

Facebook is going off this evening,  and back on when I can be bothered,  phone going on silent,  I will be driving after all. Pretty sure it will be a shitty day,  and pretty boring too.  But it will be of my own making,  and I will have no one to blame but myself. As long as I end the day able to sleep and with a sense of satisfaction,  who cares. My gift to myself. What more could I want (or let's be honest,  expect either)

Thanks to those who have sent cards,  I promise I haven't thrown any straight in the bin this year.

As  a whole I am still pretty up and down with moods. Yesterday for example you would imagine after so many positives I would relax and sleep well ... Errm nope. Hopeless night of struggling to sleep, and waking all night long. Bad dreams,  as has been the norm for a few days now) and woke up feeling negative. Just goes to show,  my mind is a frickin mess.

Anyway,  just catching up,  sure only a few people will see this as I'm not posting a link anywhere,  just getting it all off my chest.

Bye for now.

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