... and I really don't give a crap!
Feb 14th comes and goes every year, same razzmatazz, nothing changes except for the age I give when asked, and my demographic in some cases. 43 this year, and mentally I feel every year of it. Behaviour and physically of course are other matters entirely. I have ducked out of the whole of February for years now, and as the years pass, I have more and more reason to do so. This year especially. Of course it's that V day thing too, and yeah, I have no one, sob bloody sob!
So this year I am going to do it differently... Oh tell a lie, no I'm not. I'm going off the grid, out of London and spending some me time. Mainly driving, probably mostly stuck in traffic, but it's a big middle finger up to the expectations of the date. I'm not sulking (much) not boycotting (not totally), just refusing to conform, and being a lonely old bastard. After all its what I do best.
Facebook is going off this evening, and back on when I can be bothered, phone going on silent, I will be driving after all. Pretty sure it will be a shitty day, and pretty boring too. But it will be of my own making, and I will have no one to blame but myself. As long as I end the day able to sleep and with a sense of satisfaction, who cares. My gift to myself. What more could I want (or let's be honest, expect either)
Thanks to those who have sent cards, I promise I haven't thrown any straight in the bin this year.
As a whole I am still pretty up and down with moods. Yesterday for example you would imagine after so many positives I would relax and sleep well ... Errm nope. Hopeless night of struggling to sleep, and waking all night long. Bad dreams, as has been the norm for a few days now) and woke up feeling negative. Just goes to show, my mind is a frickin mess.
Anyway, just catching up, sure only a few people will see this as I'm not posting a link anywhere, just getting it all off my chest.
Bye for now.