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Oooooooooooook this is how it goes.

Finally got her to the hospital, parked as close to the dept as possible for her, only to find they have moved it lol. Sister helped her there while I got parked properly and not pay extortionate rates for parking.
Lovely new department, in the new wing, so no more dark broom closet anymore.

Running a bit behind, but got seen within an hour of the original appointment time. Me and my sister waited while she saw the doctor, then when she came out, I popped in. I was welcomed by the doctor and specialist nurse who sat me down and filled me in on the whole matter. Mum had apparently said no to me sitting in previously.
Suprisingly on the journey home she was 100% straight about almost everything said, which was pleasent.

So, the prognosis, outcome, road ahead.
The right side has become very large now, and radiotherapy is not considered a viable option. Chemo "may" have a partial effect, but the preferred treatment is now surgery only. HOWEVER, her COPD is in the way of that, with her breathing being considered borderline too bad for general anaesthetic, so she has to have a complete medical inc scans, xrays etc to see if she is fit enough to even be considered for surgery... not that she has accepted having surgery, but they are thinking ahead.

Unfortunatly, due to the size of the lump now, it would be a more intrusive surgery, with the breast being removed, and her requiring a skin graft to cover it up and help it heal. Given that she was against a simple lump being taken out, I cant see her going for this at all. Myself, the doctor and the nurse are all in agreement that she has made a very rational decision to let the cancer take its course, and to see it to the end with no further treatment. So I am grateful to the doctor for continuing to pursue the surgery route even though its an outside chance.

The COPD is what is causing all her main symptoms at the moment, for which she needs to go back to the GP, so I am in the middle of trying to get that sorted out for her too. Once again, unfortunatly she is unlikely to take on board much of what they say or give her, so the condition will get worse. Amazingly with full blown cancer, its the COPD making life awkward for her now. So hopefully we can get some help for her there, and make life a little better for her, a little mobility and freedom. But the harsh reality is, she is going to need to be watched much closer again now, with the risk of her passing out again.

So the road I forsee is as follows.
Refusal of any other treatments, and letting the cancer take its course.
Supervision from the hospital, and pain meds given to make things comfortable.
Reluctance to get anything done about the COPD
Breathing getting worse and worse.

Hopefully she is "friends" with the doctor again now, and will continue to go there and get help from them, inc pain relief.

Next appointment has been set for within a couple of weeks time, to go to Guys to see the specialist there. Updates to follow.

Bah, that scuppered my plan slightly. I thought I had some old foodpacks let, but turns out all I have is Veggie Soup, which is ok, but I can only really stomach one a day lol.
So eBay is my friend, and I have ordered a weeks worth of foodpacks, and can only hope they arrive soon, so I can get in the flow of things. In the meantime I need a new blender too, my old one is destroyed now. (cant use VLCD foodpacks without a blender!)

So its a Slim Fast bar for breakfast, followed by whatever I can pick up in Sainsburys on the way to work for lunch and dinner.

On the plus side, the dogs have had a nice walk this morning, and the weather was rather nice too.

In other news.......
Following mums decision on Saturday to stop taking her medication, guess what. Yup thats right, she is feeling ill again now.
Insistant that she is NOT going back to the doctors to discuss alternative medication (I beg to differ), I get the feeling there is a well thought out plan in amongst this.

One minute she will be gasping, saying how bad her breathing is, the next she is gassing on the phone to her sister with no problems. Which kind of indicates she is laying it on a little thick at times. Her conversations with the doctor on the phone are the same, to the receptionist she can talk normally, as soon as the doc is on the line is wheeze and gasp time.

Anyway, the plan I speak of..... She has an Oncology appointment on Thursday, and I get the feeling her health will fail just enough for her to say she cant make the appointment. Which of course is rubbish as I will carry here there if I have to. But I get the impression she is gonna try it. Why? Simple, she will be seeing the doctor who she saw originally who made the cancer diagnosis, and who she now intensly dislikes.

Whatever the case, she WILL be making her Oncology appointment on Thursday, and she WILL be going back to see the GP regarding alternative meds for her breathing etc. Watch this space.


OK so im sure we are all familiar with opening a packet of medication, be it asprin or prescription. Which ever end you open it from, the clever little leaflet inside somehow manages to be at the end you open it from, blocking your route from your awaiting pain relief, high, or treatment for that "itch"

So what do you do? Grab it, pull it out of the way, and munch your pills. (90% of the population will NEVER read one of these leaflets). But you are missing out, missing out on worry, wonder and concern about what those pills might just do to you. Have a quick scan over it and you will see words like "sores", "rashes", "tiredness" and so on spread throughout the page.

Side effects is what I am on about, if you had not already gathered. The expression "suck 'em and see" is quite apt when it comes to the average persons approach to medication. You are ill, you need help, the doctor says try these, so you give it a go. Personally I am one to give it a go, and see how things work out. Sadly my mother, due to her recent ill health and massive increase in drug intake has taken to reading EVERYTHING... The box, the leaflet and anything else she can get her hands on.

She has COPD, which for those not in the know is Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, aka she cant breathe very well. This is actually an umbrella condition which covers a wide range of conditions causing respitory issues. However this mixed with an obsession of reading and worrying about side effects of meds is a leathal cocktail.

As with most medications, over the counter and prescription, a lot of hers highlight they can cause respitory issues, which of course is not helpful with COPD. The focus needs to be on "could" though, and not the WILL that she insists it means. Therefore ANY drug she is prescribed for anything that mentions breathing, is binned!

Currently as of today, she has decided that due to a bad night breathing last night, all 4 drugs she was recently prescribed are no good, and she will not be taking them any longer. Ignoring the fact that its taken 5 days of taking them to decide this. So due to this now, she will no longer be treating other conditions she has, and her health will again deteriorate.

As someone who has spent a good few years popping pills for all sorts of ailements, I can confirm that modern medicine is a bloody amazing thing, and deserves praise, not doubt. So it is very frustrating for me to see her shun all the help that is on offer, due to a simple obsession with POSSIBLE side effects. Will she return to the doctor and tell him the problems she has found.... Of course not, she will just plod on and get iller again.

Its a vicious circle, that is getting ever tighter.