Got home this evening, and the first thing mother said as I walked through the door was "can you call the hospital and cancel my appointment"..... Suprise, she does not feel well enough to go.
OK Its sort of valid, she has a streaming cold, and does not feel she should be in there with other ill people. But at the same time its the blood test clinic, to check her blood is clotting ok with her Warfarin. So quite important.
I had suggested I would take her there, and we could wait out of the way from the waiting room til its her turn, but then the story changed, it wasnt about the other people, she is just to ill to go there at all, as she cant move about without becoming breathless.
On making suggestions of alternative arrangements, I was just read the riot act, and on daring to ask again when her appointment was, on this occasion so I knew when to call to cancel, I had my head blown off by a booming scream of "im too ill to go" So with that I called it a night.
A little selfish I know but with that last bit my stress levels were going through the roof, and I would much rather not have a full blown arguement with her about it.
So im hoping to take a day off work tomorrow, get the hospital sorted out, get her back down to the GP or even A&E to get checked out properly. Something tells me she will be getting admitted to hospital some time soon the way her breathing is going. And without the ability to talk to her about it and get through to her that she is making herself worse, she is unlikely to get herself out of this situation.
So damn frustrating watching someone you love run themselves into the ground like this. Cancer aside, I still dont quite grasp how someone can give up like this, and exist in such a state of suffering when help in on hand.