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Regardless of the fact they have got mum back on her feet and feeling better, they are of course the devil. (Well they are red!)

Her first comment this morning as I got them out of the packet was "those bloody steroids, I have been up since 3am"

I am starting to see a pattern now, and her comments moments ago confirmed that.

Speaking to the carer while waiting on a cup of teas, she was talking about her meds. She described her fluid replacement sachets to the carer a little something like this.

"I am meant to be drinking more to help clear a urine infection, but the doctor put me on these, and they stop me from going to the loo"

No dear, they replace the missing glucose and sodium in your body to allow your body to retain the necessary fluids to function properly. Any by all accounts, they seem to be working a treat.

After complaining to everyone for 2 days that if she drinks, she just wee's it out, now we are at the opposite end of the spectrum.

By her description the urine is getting weaker now, which shows the anti bi's are working, and flushing with fluids is helping, but now there is less to complain about there, its time to switch tactics. She has not mentioned kidney pain today, so has hopefully forgotten that for now, and its not really going to turn into a kidney infection (for her sake)

She managed to open the door to the carer herself today, which was impressive. Nice to see her motivated to interact with the new carers.

Right, let's see what the rest of the day can bring lol

Have a good one, enjoy the sunshine

Regards

Michael

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Yesterday, with all the medical people talking, visiting, and giving advice over the phone, mum made her stand and said she was sick and tired of being told she was dehydrated, as everytime she drank something it just went straight through her.

This was of course corrected by the doctors, and she was told it was doing its job of clearing out toxins on the way through, so doing more than mearly passing through.

Either way she said she would not be drinking more than she already was as she was tired of going to the toilet. Told that failure to do so would result in a urine infection which she may already have, then spread to the kidneys which would be very painful, she barked a reply which said no one knew what kind of pain she was in, and kidney infection was the least of her worries.

The doctor however prescribed rehydration powders, aimed at helping her retain a little water, and with persistence I have got her to drink 2 yesterday and 2 today. So you can imagine my surprise (or lack of) when she came to talk to me today and informed me she had made a decision. She said due to the LACK of going to the toilet today, and the building discomfort in her kidneys, she will NOT be having any more than one of these drinks a day now, as she WANTS to wee more to clear up the apparent kidney infection she feels she is getting now, as its very painful.

For the record, it is obviously important to both be able to retain AND pass fluids in order to stay hydrated and keep the toxins passing through your system. Mum however sees this as different doctors contradicting one another, and that either she needs to retain or pass water. Doing both is clearly impossible.

Dear oh dear!

Regards

Michael

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And probably the threat of hospital helped a little too. But this morning mum is making much more of an effort to get drink and food inside of her. Unsurprising but she is feeling a bit better, and is able to get herself in and out of bed, as well as to the loo, out for a ciggy and into the kitchen.

She says its all down to the steroids, but something tells me state of mind plays a part in that too.
Of course, its not all rosey. After being told over and over by the medics yesterday that she probably has a urine infection because of the dehydration, she didn't bother to mention the problem to the doctor when he came. So of course, they have let her down and she wants to know why the hell they are not treating it. Needless to say, it needs diagnosing properly before they can treat it.

The district nurse will be calling today to do mums blood sugar and wound checks. And a nurse from St Christophers will be coming around to see how mum is doing, and to see if anything can be done from their end to help with matters too. Thankfully things are better than yesterday though. As I type, she has just popped out for another ciggy, so has her priorities straight.

She ate before the carer arrived this morning, but was very positive when she did arrive, and they got on well, which was nice to see. Chatting, and just getting on the little things mum needed doing. After the carer had left, again mum was complimentary about her, and said it was lovely that she just did her thing and left.

Me and my sister wrote up a list of little things for the carer to do daily as her "plan" and she has been brilliant at following it, just need to do one for the afternoon now too. Then she can check it off against what mum needs, and if nothing else is needed, can go.

Going back to yesterday, just after I thought nothing else could go wrong, the dog threw up on the bed, which ended up costing £60 to replace all the bedding. But on the + side, the bread bin and biscuit tin I have been meaning to buy were in the clearance sale with 1/3 off. Balance restored.... Almost lol.

My birthday binge of food didn't go down well, and I could not sleep most of the night, so I was pleased when postie arrived with my weeks supply of Protikee this morning.

Right, I have physio booked for 3pm to get me sorted physically. Important things to do this week and need to be in my best possible shape to do them. So looking forwards to some violent pampering lol.

That's me for now, hopefully we are on the up now.

Have a good one.

Regards

Michael

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Flashy way to celebrate a birthday I know but hey.

Hopefully mum will give in and go with them soon.

Regards

Michael

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And this year, it starts with an ambulance.

Mum has been unwell and a bit unwilling for the past 24 hours, but this morning is refusing to get out of bed, to take food or drink, or even her medication.

The carer called me in this morning to say how she had found mum, and on speaking to the GP he informed a home visit was not worth while, and he would send an ambulance for her.

Feels her general condition warrants a trip to the hospital to check her over and see what they can do for her.

All feels rather normal to me these days, less adrenalin pumping round the old body, even though I know an ambulance is coming for mum. How am I writing this you ask, should I not be doing something else?

Well the doctor has advised its a non priority 1 hour call for the ambulance, and in my judgement, given how she will respond on their arrival, especially to me, its better I stay out of the way for now.

I am expecting them to advise that she is dehydrated, and a little malnourished, as for what any other tests might show, that's hard to know, but I'm sure time will tell.

So here goes, waiting on the ambulance and what she says to them now. If she refuses to go with them, this is going to be one hell of a day. And if she does go with them, who knows what to expect.

Regards

Michael

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A bit of a long shot, but the blog gets a wide audience now, so thought I would reach out there to anyone dealing with cancer, either as the patient or the carer.

Regards

Michael

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Yesterdays weigh in saw another good weekly loss, another 4lbs gone, in 6 days. That's allowing for a chinese treat meal the previous Saturday, and slightly reduced exercise this week due to appointments, weather etc. As well as the reintroduction of food this week, turkey, bacon etc.

So I'm a happy man. I'm now in my comfort zone, so losing a few more lbs won't hurt, but if the loss slows right down, no bother.

Well as its my birthday tomorrow, I have decided for a treat. Pizza! If I can still lose a lb or 2 by the weekend, bonus. If not, I will still be happy 🙂

Regards

Michael

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Following on from the past few days of negative behaviour from mum, I have to say no real improvement today. In fact if anything she is getting worse.
As some of the more frequent drug takers might know, the same drug from a different distributor can be a different colour. On this occasion it is an anti sickness tablet to help with excess acid, and indigestion.
This afternoon I asked how mum was and she said still feeling sick and poorly.
At lunch time while making my lunch I noticed all her meds for today were still there, so I asked if she was going to take them.
First off she said she was sick of taking tablets at all now, and was fed up of them all. Then she said she was not taking the yellow one. Insisting it had made her ill the day before and she didn't want to feel like that again.
I tried to explain to her that it was the same as the blue/white one, but was from another supplier. She still refused to take it. She grew angry about me challenging her, so instead I ended up having to open a different packet and give her a different coloured one. Which she took reluctantly.

So today, she feels weak, has a headache, says she feels sick but has had Bovril and 2 bowls of cornflakes, and some tea. So sick or not she is getting food and drink in her.

Problem is, with issues like this coming up more and more frequently, I have to ask the question. Is she genuinely tired and fed up of it all (understandably) or is she progressing to the early stages of confusion now.

With the recent behaviour I am starting to think more confusion than anything else. Blaming pills for making her ill, refusing to eat certain things, claiming people are not doing things they are meant to etc.

She complained earlier that the new carer had not made her bed for her. I asked mum if she had asked the carer to, and all I got back was a dirty look and the reply that she didn't notice in time. She did however comment earlier that the carer had nothing to do.

Time to talk to the GP again I think, appointment asap.
I feel my stress levels rising again.

Regards

Michael

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My patience that is.
It seems that whatever is suggested or offered to mum recently is wrong. The hearing aid was not as promised, the nurses at St Christophers are getting on mums nerves, she is sick of the doctor mentioning anxiety, the new carer is no good as she doesn't understand what mum wants, and my sister should not come around daily but believe text updates from mum.... All of these are of course mums perceptions of how things are.

In reality, but without wishing to sound harsh, she just seems a little unwilling and ungrateful right now. With help being offered at every turn and dip in the road, I personally feel humbled by how much is being done by both the NHS and the hospice to help with mums comfort and condition.

Anxiety IS an issue, and the more you step back and look in, you can see how some of these mood swings and outbursts are driven by the anxiety she is feeling. And before you say it, yes, of course I can understand the feeling of anxiety in all this. Difference is, I am accepting medication to try and help with my anxiety, caused by dealing with the stresses of mums anxiety. She of course finds it amusing that I am in fact taking medication for her. If I wasn't, I honestly think I would be close to giving up right now.

Today, following on from yesterday, the carer situation has once again changed.
Meeting the new carer yesterday afternoon mum said other than some difficulty understanding the carer (middle aged indian woman), she was lovely, effective and efficient. Today however she is now useless, not going to work and can't understand a word mum is saying, let alone mum understanding her.

The old carer made her last visit this morning, and from what I understand, Sandy, the new one starts covering both visits from tomorrow. From "just hanging around passing time", we are now at "could not get out fast enough". It truly seems, like me, whatever the carers do, its wrong.
As I have mentioned before the carer has been coming an hour early recently. It started as a one off and soon became the norm. This is why I requested a change. Today, when poor Sandy said she would be here at 8 tomorrow, mum was angry with her, complaining that she was messing about and she was meant to be here for 7. Not actually the case, 8 is correct. They finally agreed 8, which is a relief to me. I then explained in private to Sandy why there was confusion. Thankfully she was fine about this.

I am really hoping that mum can get along with this carer, and all the worry and stress about her that I have can relax a little. With my sister now visiting in the afternoons too, (just started yesterday) hopefully this is the start of me getting back to work. That said, mum is already saying to my sister that it must be a terrible strain on her, and maybe she should just call or text if she needs anything. Obviously I have set my mum straight, telling her that her recent honesty issues and hiding problems meant this was not an option, and physical visits were the only way. (Harsh but fair)

OK all this thinking is giving me a headache now. The day has already been too much for me. Medication and walk the dogs time I think. Air is needed!

Thanks for reading

Regards

Michael

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Really pushing the boat out today, meat and veg! Boiled unsmoked bacon, turkey breast, with steamed cabbage and leek!
Completed with a bubbly can of Pepsi Max.
Regards
Michael

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