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The brain gets going! And boy oh boy does it go into overdrive.

Short entry just to purge the brain before bed tonight.

The last couple of days have been strange. Long weekend prolonging the wait to get a reference from FedEx. Self doubt and imposter syndrome kicking in again making me believe that things won't work out and that I don't deserve them to. And a strange email from the prison service today really adding fuel to the fire.

As I understand it, things progress incrementally with the onboarding. Once one part is satisfied the next begins. So getting a notification for my medical was a good indicator that the reference has been received at least, and is hopefully satisfactory. But of course my doubt plays havoc with me, and I still believe there is a chance it won't be OK.

Then this afternoon I received an email from the prison service to say that after reviewing one of the tests they have decided that the application will not progress. Which is strange as the same test results were applied to each application. No idea why they have sent that, but it's not the first time they have sent weird emails only to correct themselves later. What a farce.

Obviously this plays nicely into the hands of my imposter syndrome, showing me not only do I not deserve the new role, but I also don't deserve the fall back role either.

Logical me doesn't believe this, but the voice before sleep is always the loudest.

So now I just get on with things, my employment with Fedex ends on Friday, then I become temporarily retired for a few months. Hopefully things will all start to fall into place soon. I have my medical early next month, which should trigger the DBS and final stage of onboarding.

Right, sleep time.

7

Back in January we were all told that we faced the possibility of redundancy. By Feb that had become pretty much a dead cert, so I looked at my options. 

Having worked for the company for 24 years, first as a courier for a couple of years, then into dispatch for the next 22 years, it was all a bit of a blur. No exams from school, only a couple of jobs, limited transferable skills, what on earth was I going to do next.

On speaking to friends, a few avenues opened up for me to take a look down. So from February til now I have been looking into some different roles and opportunities, applying for a few, and have secured in total, three different paths to consider. 

Bus / lorry driving. Something I have always liked the idea of, and a licence is a transferable skill, so can move around once there is some experience. Not the most glamourous job, but at the same time it is secure, pays OK, and affords me a little bit of freedom. There would of course be shift work involved, but I have had it good for a long time now, and am ready to get my hands dirty, and disrupt my routines a bit.

After an application and an assessment day, I was offered a role on the trainee bus driver apprenticeship  scheme. So that was an offer on the table straight away. Good start!

The next role took a few people I know by surprise. Prison Officer. 
When I started looking for other jobs, the one thing I really wanted to do was make a difference to peoples lives. No two days being the same, be more outgoing and engaging, and try and do something where I had a sense of fulfilment. Strangely being a prison officer would do just that. In fact I actually visited a prison earlier this week, to get a proper experience of what it was like to work in a prison. VERY interesting to say the least. 
Back in Feb I started the application process, and passed all the rounds of assessment. Subsequently I was given a provisional offer, and am currently awaiting a placement. 

And finally, in March another role was brought to my attention. 
Another exciting role, definitely ticks all the boxes, and I have to be honest, I had put my application in before actually looking at what the pay was for the role. To be honest, for me it is a dream role, but one I had less confidence in getting. Especially having already secured two offers in other roles. None the less I promised myself I would give it my best effort, and put in prep for the interview if I got that far.

As part of the application there was an opportunity to make your case, and say what you brought to the role. While writing it, it finally became apparent to me that I did have transferable skills after all, not only from FedEx, but also life in general. Of the 4,000 characters permitted for the document, I used 3,998, obviously! Then after a few days I received a congratulatory email, inviting me to the next round of assessment. This was a listen, extract and type exercise, and simulated taking emergency calls. It felt it went well, but again, out of touch with the world of jobs, I was unsure.

So imagine my surprise when I was invited to interview!! The final stage. This is where I really became confident I would not get it. Not that the interview went badly, I felt it went well. Just I am aware that a lot of people apply for it, and the chances felt very outside. However I was humbled to have reached that stage. That was last Thursday afternoon, and on me asking when I would hear back, I was told there was a process and it would be probably 2-3 weeks. 

On Monday afternoon I had a missed call, the message said it was the potential employer, so I called back. Given how soon it was since the interview, my immediate assumption was they were contacting the unsuccessful applicants first, before working through a short list.
I had already taken some deep breaths to prepare myself for the news. "Hi Michael, you recently applied for the role in the Control Room ....", here it comes. I took a moment and said in quite a calm and sombre tone, "oh yes, that's correct".
"Well I am pleased to tell you your application was successful, so would like to provisionally offer you the role"
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattt!!!! "I'm sorry, are you joking" I replied (not my finest moment).
"Haha no, you were successful, would you like to accept the offer?"

Don't have to ask me twice!
So that was that, three offers on the table. Driving, prison officer, or control room.

I guess all that is left is to say which I have decided to go with, and what role I chose.

Well, I am delighted to say that I have accepted the role in the control room, and am currently in the process of ticking the boxes and working towards a contract. This includes getting references from FedEx, although hens teeth would be easier to obtain right now. Apparently it has become policy for a lot of companies NOT to give any kind of reference beyond "yes they worked for us" these days. So one such reference will be sent to them next week, and then we see if that is sufficient, or if further leg work with FedEx is needed.  Thankfully HR have been great offering more support if needed. 

Then there is DBS checking, and a medical, both of which I am fairly confident will be OK.

All being well I will start the new job on August the 12th, a few days after returning from Florida. 11-12 weeks of training, some classroom, some live control room (observing), then a nine month probationary period. 
It is shift work with rolling hours from days through to nights, 3 on 3 off shift pattern.

So, as long as all goes to plan, I am provisionally a very happy and proud man. I feel I have finally found my true vocation, and am really excited about getting started. So in the meantime, pray for me that the three hoops are cleared without too much fuss. Watch this space for updates, but hopefully no upsets. 

Thanks for reading all that, I appreciate it. 

And a massive thank you to my close circle of friends who have been there for me with advice, an ear, and some confidence when needed throughout this whole journey of 2024. 

So, that came as a bit of a shock I have to say. Yesterday afternoon I got a call from recruitment at my number one choice of jobs, to say I had been successful in my application and that they would like to offer me the role, complete with a start date of August 12th. That is the date that my training would begin IF I accepted the role. After a moment of shock, and checking this was not a joke or a mistake, I expressed my delight (and surprise) and of course said I would accept the offer. 

Since that moment there have been a range of thoughts and emotions about the matter, as well as a lot of frantic planning to get myself sorted for that date. So let me run through some of them now,

Initially as I say I was pleasantly surprised, having come away from the interview feeling I had done my best, but having the niggling feeling that there would be a lot of candidates, and my chances were slimmer than some. Obviously I was wrong there, and this is one of those occasions I am happy to admit being wrong haha. The next step of course was to let those nearest to me know the outcome.So a barrage of WhatsApp messages were sent, as well as a couple of slightly cryptic social media posts. I am comfortable telling those closest to me all the details, but I assume like most, a little more guarded with details for the time being, "just in case, for the rest of the world.

After that, the next thought was more about money. From the start of the redundancy process I have been aware that I was getting a decent settlement, but that was a finite amount of money that would only last so long. Naturally I started looking for jobs immediately, and was fortunate enough to be offered a couple of them. One I could start when I was ready, another I passed all the interviews etc, but just needed to wait for a role to become available. Of course I had my redundancy buffer, so that was never a stress. Because of these opportunities, I have to say I have been lucky enough not to be in a position of panic or concern about the future in that regard. The only question was, what job out of the list I had would I decide to go with.

So a quick recap of the timeline of things. 
January we were told redundancies were possible.
End of Jan the first formal meeting discussing the possibilities.
Feb I started applying for jobs, and having interviews
March I had my first two provisional offers, with a 3rd on the table. 

By this point I was content that the roles available to me ticked the boxes of what I wanted to do moving forward, mainly "make a difference every day".

In April I was made aware of the role I have just accepted. After a bit of back and forth discussing it, and some deep thought, I decided that this was really a job I would love to do. It ticks all the boxes, it is something I think I am more than capable of doing, and the thought of getting it really excited me. So I put my application in. After a few days I got a notification of passing the initial sift, and going through to a simulation exercise to test abilities. I did that as soon as I could, and to my delight I received an email saying I had been invited for an interview. 

I had hoped for, but not expected to get through to the interview stage. A couple of weeks later in May I went to the interview (last week) and as we all know by now, got a call yesterday afternoon telling me I had been successful and was made a provisional offer, and given the start date. 

Now in the midst of all this, I had been quietly planning for worst case scenario, and having to go with my bottom of the pile job offer. The plan if it came to it was to take the summer off, go to the USA for a few weeks and get stuck into the new job in September. Given the level of my self confidence at times, I had been looking at flights, and kennels for mid August. They do say plan for the worst, hope for the best. 

So now getting this offer to start in mid August, the holiday plans need addressing. First port of call, contact the kennels and see if they can accommodate us for those dates. On the grand scheme of things, the holiday is something that can happen another time if need be, but it would be nice to hit the reset button before getting stuck into the 4th job of my life, and hopefully my last one. We shall see on that one.

One of the nicer things about having a clearer road ahead now is that I now have an idea of what is happening money wise. I know what my new income will be, I know what I will be paid in redundancy, so can plan ahead a little, and take the plunge on one or two things I have thought about. 

So back to the thought process. I spent most of yesterday researching the role a little more, seeing what my work / life balance looked like, and confirming a few things I was curious about. To be honest it is taking longer for it to sink in that I have got the job, than it did to accept I was being made redundant. I am still having daft thoughts about it now. 

Last night I went to bed and as my head hit the pillow I thought, "Michael is a common name, what if they picked up the wrong file and called the wrong Michael, and are now wondering how to tell me they made a mistake". Then it was mentioned to me about vetting and asking what level they do there. Obviously this has been something that has concerned me in the past too, so that got me worrying too. Again, no real reason for me to think I would not pass, but doubt shouts the loudest. 

I slept well, but was up early for a run this morning, and the first thoughts in my head were "imposter syndrome".. Do I really deserve this, did they really mean to call me etc.
It is important for me to say at this stage, I am not struggling, it is not bothering me much at all, but just instead a niggling voice of doubt in the back of my mind. I am sure as things progress, and I hear back with more info and details, I will feel more settled with it all, and most of all, believe in myself a little more. 

I am not panicking that I can't do the job, I am not worried I won't cope. I am confident with the actualities of the role, just guess I am still a little shocked. But honestly I think that is a good thing. I feel humble and "blessed" to have been afforded this opportunity, rather than cocky and over confident that I had it in the bag from the start. Anyone who knows me will know I would rather earn something on merit and feel I deserved it, rather than being given something I am "entitled to" on a platter. 

So, there we have it, the road ahead is starting to appear from the morning mist. From now til I start is 83 days. In that time I have my final day with Fedex in 10 days time, hopefully a trip to Florida in 65 days time, and I am sure a whole lot of information to process and absorb in the meantime. I don't know what will happen time scale wise with the new role, what I will hear and when, but know there are references to be done, and vetting too, so it will be an ongoing process until Day 1.

I am sure by next week I will be taking it all in my stride. But for now, I have a plan, I have a time scale of what I am doing next after leaving Fedex, so I can relax a little now, and enjoy the next 80 days or so.

So here's to today... The first day of my future.

 

First application went in today. Early days along the road, but keen to get things off to a positive start.

The past couple of days I have had a multitude of ideas and thoughts on what to do next. My main thoughts were, serve a purpose, make a difference. So I started writing up a shortlist of things that I liked the idea of, that I felt I could do, and that somehow gave back.

Right now money is not the focus, reward is. Achievement far out weighs finances, once the bills are paid of course.

On Friday I started a writing a list, fast and furiously, anything that came into my head. Roles I had previously considered by never tried, qualifications that I like the idea of having. Considering I don't actually have ANY qualifications, one would be good lol.

Thankfully I have also been blessed with input from people around me. Some bloody stupid suggestions, others with some merit. So the past 48 hours have been spent searching the internet, bookmarking pages, jotting down follow-up ideas, and from time to time actually reading up on certain roles.

Now it is fair to say, after a quarter of a century in the same company, I am a little rusty when it comes to most things about seeking employment, let alone the interview process, so that kinda terrifies me right now. Also, I have obviously spent the last decade or so avoiding people, so I think some of the jobs on the list might surprise people.

This afternoon, after a bit of discussion with Ann, a deliberation with myself I finally put fingers to keys and filled out an application. This was followed by completing and passing the first round of test. So technically I guess what I am saying is... I have my first job interview!

I am gonna put this out there early. As excited as I am about the role, I really don't think I will get it. First interview in over two decades, how could I possibly land a job after that? There are other mitigating circumstances too which make me think I won't get it, but time will tell.

So there you go, redundancy notice on Thursday, job interview by Saturday. I should also say the interview isn't today, I will be notified of availability for interview dates soon, but technically it's in the process, so I'm calling it.

Told you I would update you soon, just didn't think it would be this soon! Watch this space for more updates on this and other avenues I find myself down soon. Like I say, I would like this to be the one, but am not kidding myself for a second. But it's a process, right?

Yup, that's right, after 24 years working at the same place, in just two roles, a swiftly called meeting this afternoon wrapped it all up into a couple of neat sentences. Our role is to be "absorbed" into other operations, and therefore our services are no longer required. The end of service will be around March some time, but we are currently waiting on one-to-one consultations to find out more. There will of course be a compensations package. 

Before I carry on, by "today" I actually mean yesterday, but I have just been taking a bit of time to digest all of this before putting fingers to keys. Having thought over this overnight, I thought it would be best to write in a short series of entries, so not to miss anything out, or skate over some parts to keep the entry short. So I will start with the immediate thoughts, and feelings on the situation.

So here goes...
Since 2020 there have been some big changes in the company, closures, consolidations, and other cost saving measures. My team have avoided a couple of rounds of redundancies in the past, and I have to say I took the threat far worse then than I did recently. I am sure there are some blog entries to be found which reflect how badly I took the threat, and the poor mental state I was in at the time. It is actually quite incredible to look back at those times, and see the differences from then til now. 

This time however it was for real. In the weeks leading up to the announcement, there have been some warning signs, and on the actual day, the activities within the company in the morning indicated all was not well, and that there was bad news on the horizon. So when the email came in to say we were having a team meeting, including a senior, and HR, in the next 30 mins, with the whole team, I think it is fair to say the writing was on the wall. On the lead up to the meeting I was frantically messaging those closest to me saying I thought I was about to get made redundant, while at the same time in my head starting to process the news.

A year ago I would be a shaking, mumbling mess, of that I have no doubt. However as the meeting started, the faces of the managers said it all. No words were needed other than when and how much. However a sombre statement was read out, which detailed the reasoning for the decision, a rough time scale, and that support would be available and further meetings would be had with employees in the coming days and weeks to give individual details. Logging out of the meeting, I was officially aware that I was being made redundant, and obviously told my nearest and dearest immediately. While at the same time the IM's came alive with messages from people in the same boat. 

From that point on, well it has been interesting. Obviously there is still a job to do, so you have to remain professional. But it is hard to avoid the fact you just got canned. There is no bitterness or bad feeling there for me. 24 years service (just missing out on my 25 year pay award, damnit!). I feel I have been treated fairly, paid well (something I will revisit), and having spent the last four years working from home, I honestly don't think I could have asked for more. So I am strangely grateful for the opportunities and the journey.

The rest of the working day was strange, there was a eerie quietness about the place. No one talking much, communications to a minimum, with the occasional random question or statement, but that was about it.

For me, my brain sprang into motion, thankfully at a reasonable speed, and I started processing what this meant for me. Sitting at my expensive home office set up, which I paid for myself, the first thought was "what am I gonna do with this lot". Not a major concern, a past expenditure now (apart from the chair), so something that I am sure will serve a purpose in the future one way or another. Then my mind turned to what comes next...

That is an interesting one for me, and I will go into my thoughts on that on the next entry maybe. However, there are a few points I want to make in this entry beforehand. 
I am more than aware my role has paid pretty well compared to the job market out there, and that the role itself has afforded me some luxuries. The biggest one being free time. Having worked part time for almost the past 15 years now, not starting til midday Monday to Friday. I have had plenty of time to spend with my thoughts, and had the freedom to exercise and escape for a while.

Obviously there is a bit of a reality check about to hit, and I am sure it is going to take some getting used to. Working longer days, maybe weekends, being paid less, and having to try harder to find time for my escapes. Escapes which I am positive have helped put me in the stronger mental health position that I am in today.

Of course, it is not just me in this flotilla of boats. As we all move away from this role, a lot of others are also going through the same processes, some I would hazard a guess, taking the news not quite as well as me, and seeing a dark road ahead right now. To them, I wish them the best, and hope they can take some time to reflect on how exceptional the last however many years have been, and hope they can make the required adjustments to find some light. 

And of course, I have to take a moment to recognise the changes this means to my home life too. No more being at home with the dogs all day, no more cosy home office. Back to seeing the wife in the morning and then again in the evening, depending of course on what path I take next. Lots of uncertainty, but very little worry or concern. With the suggestions of what the redundancy will be, I am confident I will have the time to make some careful decisions on what lays ahead, decide what path to take and what my future is, while being able to pay the bills to keep a roof over our heads in the meantime.  That's the main things covered. 

I will wrap it up there. I just wanted to get my initial thoughts out there, reflect for a moment myself, and check in with myself to see if any feelings I was not aware of surfaced while writing this. I am pleased to report this is NOT the case, and that after writing this, I still feel headstrong and positive. Thank you to those of you who have already reached out with supportive words and reassurances that it will all be OK. 

Watch this space for the next instalment, where I will hopefully spit ball some ideas I have had.
Not how I saw this year going, but got to stick with the positives, like .. I might be able to buy a new bike now...woohoo!