Skip to content

Tag: redundancy

Published on Leave a comment on It’s Official, redundancy…

After a couple of months of bumbling around, fumbling with information leaks, ignoring pleas for more information, to help the affected people make good, informed decisions, Fedex have finally confirmed they are making us redundant.  From the first meeting at the start of January we all knew the "process" would end this way. And it seems those in the know also knew this would be the case. With unofficial information coming from all directions, the writing was on the wall. Just not in the communications from the company.

Before I go any further I just want to make these points. My point of contact throughout this process has been respectful, supportive, and considerate from start to finish. Getting answers where possible, and always being available to speak to.
I would also add that the redundancy compensation package is above and beyond what statutory rights demand. And for that I am sincerely grateful. Sadly that is where the compliments end. 

It has been clear throughout that decisions were made long before they were communicated. And that is where the process for me really starts to fall apart. Now I am not going to get into the intricate details, and guess who at what level knew what when, but it is blatantly obvious from some of the leaks of information, the roadmap for the company etc, that things were known long before the end of last week.  In fact staff at other locations have been notified a few weeks prior, but even their demise was clear as day on the information available.

I think the bit that really bites for me is the absolute lack of consideration for peoples mental health. Hearing you "might" be made redundant, then being left hanging for months is poor. Especially when the most support you get is "here's a link to the EAP if you want to speak to someone". People didn't want comfort, they wanted answers. 
When can I start applying for jobs?
When will I be leaving?
Those were the main two I kept hearing over and over.  Even being made aware of someone who had panicked and found a new job, only to be told that as they were still in the consultation period, and not officially being made redundant yet, that if they left to start the new job, they would be treated as if they had resigned and receive no redundancy.

Now, call me daft, but most people on hearing they are going to lose their job, automatically start looking to secure a new job as soon as possible. The problem here of course is the time line. Having been told THREE months ago that we "might" be made redundant, and the announcement containing more than a hint of it being a certainty, some wise people, including myself dare I say, started looking for new jobs. The problem was of course that when the potential new employer said "great, you have the job, when can you start", your response was nothing more than a blank faced shoulder shrug, and a "dunno". It is not a nice situation to be in.

Having experienced it first hand a couple of times, being told with no solid available date, they could not advance the offer of employment, I can confirm its a shitty feeling. Both being at the will of a company who is making you redundant when they are good and ready. And of course to appear to be recklessly seeking work while having no idea when you can start. Added to that of course is the 12 week notice period. Again something some employers are not willing to even entertain. Now of course this 12 week period is flexible as it is the time the company is required to give employees. So if you needed to leave sooner, that could be discussed. 

The problem of course is, until last week the 12 weeks had not even started! So a lot of people have waited three months to be finally given the news they have been waiting for. 

Of course there are two sides to every story, and you have to at least consider the position the company are in. The whole transition of services from one depot to another, replicate over and over across the country has to be carefully planned. A logistical nightmare I imagine, and from an organisational standpoint, a massive task. The planning that has gone into the shift is mindboggling.
Then of course there is the rollout of it. Obviously the process started somewhere with someone and the first team affected by it. So of course giving notice like that has a ripple effect. The mere mention of redundancies shoots through a company like a shockwave, and regardless of "please don't tell others about this", it is inevitable. 

With this in mind, I get that there was a need to say something was early as they did. The problem of course is, from that point on, there was no information for a large number of people. From back office to customer facing, there are a lot of jobs affected by this move, and a lot of people were left hanging. We are all different people, with a wide range of circumstances, so there would have been tens of dozens of different reactions. I know for sure that a lot of questions were asked, by myself and others. And while most will assume the number one question was "how much", I can assure you the majority simply wanted to know when!

Again, from the companys perspective, telling hundreds of members of staff that they will not have a job from six months time is potential productive suicide. Knowing you could face a wave of resignations, mass sickness etc. So in that regard it has been a smart move. The masses waiting for their redundancy pay-outs, and only the expected few have decided to make the most of going sick. Of course I am sure this is due to the stress and anxiety caused by the news... Or maybe not?

The biggest issue for me all along has just been the when. Not the why, that is not my problem. The how much was simply a formality, and again due to leaks, it was obvious early on how much the pay-out would be, and I am certainly not complaining about the number.
I have to say, for the main part I have been very fortunate with the "when". With a few roles I have applied for either being fine with the delayed start date, or the recruitment process being so long, a start date would not be affected by the delay in being given notice by Fedex. 
I have certainly been luck in this regard, and even luckier to at this point be moving forward with two job offers presently, neither of which is impacted by the timeline. 

Having looked at it from the other side, from the company perspective, and respecting as much as I can the reasoning for the delay, I now want to look at from an alternative perspective of my own. One that is talked about in this blog a lot. The perspective of the anxious mind. 
Going back a few years there was another wave of redundancies, and even though it was quite swift, the process was very stressful for me at the time. Wondering what I could possibly do next with my life, rejected from employment after 20 years of service (at that time), to old to learn new things, financially insecure. It shook my world hard!
Thankfully I am in a much stronger position now, in all regards, but I can't help feel that there are some out there who are going through lows at the moment. I cannot imagine how that level of uncertainty feels over such a long duration, and can only hope that everyone else affected is strong enough to weather it. At least we have dates to work to now, and can actually start to plan.

Now that the clock is finally ticking down to zero, and we know when zero is, I feel.... Well I feel free!
That is the only way I can describe the feeling really. Soon my employment with Fedex will come to an end after almost a quarter of a century. I have worked for the company for almost the same length of time I had been alive by the time I came to work for the company. Half my life spent working for the same company, most of it with the same team too. 

Speaking of the team.... Haha, biting my tongue here, that can all come later, but rest assured there will be more relief than sadness when the last day comes. Let's park that there for the time being eh. 

So back to how I feel, and what comes next. Now I have dates to work with, my plan is to take some time off before starting anything new. Work on fitness, mental health and hitting the reset button before I start my next adventure. The jobs that are in the pipeline are not necessarily the ones I will end up doing, I am still looking at other options, and the time off will help me make my next move with confidence.  I have looked at a wide variety of jobs and industries, and only gone with the ones that interest or excite me. 

All I can say now is cheers for reading, here's to new beginnings, a new adventure for everyone, and wish the majority of my fellow colleagues all the best. There are of course exceptions to that, and they either know who they are, or are so oblivious to my feelings towards them, that it explains why I feel the way I do haha. 

Right, enough waffle, I have a life to plan. Take care all

 

Published on Leave a comment on Today was a good day…

In the words of Ice Cube!

I am usually pretty quick at writing entries when things are going wrong, or I feel like moaning about something. However the positive posts are fewer and further between.

So today I have decided to change that up a bit. As my previous entry said, not a lot is happening right now with the whole redundancy thing, and it was starting to grind my gears a bit. With a few irons in the fire, and waiting for things to fall into place really starting to drag me down a bit.

So today, I had a job interview /assessment day. And with no further bullshit or drama, I was offered a job. I am not going to go into details about it right now. A few people know, but for the time being it's just "a job offer".

In the grand scheme of things, it is not my first choice of role. However it is one I am more than happy to run with (or I would not have applied for it, duh!). Let's call it a favourable second choice.

The main thing here is, my first choice role is progressing, I have passed most of the necessary stages to get the role. However there are a couple of things beyond my control left to happen before everything falls into place. As I cannot be 100% confident that it will all work out, it is nice to have the 2nd place role secured as a fall back.

I even confirmed with them that I have a flexible start date, to allow for the uncertainty of the actual date of redundancy, and to allow me a little wiggle room for a breather between jobs when the day comes.

This is just the news I needed to settle things down  a bit, and give me a little reassurance that whatever happens now, I have a job to move onto. I have income, something to do that I actually interests me (either role for that matter), so I can breathe easy on that front at least.

Two months ago, just after we went back to work after New Years, we were told we were being made redundant.... Here I am now with two job offers, and dare I say I am still keeping my ear to the ground and looking for other options and ideas. Until the day I actually finish with my current job, I shall keep my eyes open for any opportunities that appeal to me.

I was actually offered an interview for another role last week, but the time lines just don't work for them at the moment, due to the 12 weeks notice period. But who knows, things might change and I might go after that one instead. It was actually a lot closer to home too lol.

So after a long day of tests, medical, assessments and travel, I came home to find the dogs had managed to get into the front room. Damnit lol.

Right, im going to bed. My brain needs to process and archive today.

Published on Leave a comment on So much NOT happening!

Good question, I was wondering the same myself to be honest, as at times I have lost it a bit. First of all I can't believe it has been over a month since I last wrote an entry here, that feels insane. And for my own sake, right now, is probably a little too long for my own sanity. Writing has always been the way I process things, and is the reason I always encourage others going through anything to do the same. 

Anyway, let's have a quick catch up shall we. Now, where do I start.....

Let's start with the fun stuff, the warm and cuddly kind. The puppy, aka Freyja, aka Monster, aka Snooty Toots, aka NO!!! Puppies are always hard work, even at the best of times, but I have to say she has really pushed some boundaries to say the least. House training... getting there, but still struggling a bit some days. Protest pees and poos when she is told off or not given the attention she wants. Occasional crying when we go out. This seems to be increasing at the moment, but is very much a random thing. Some days, 4 hours no problems. Other days, within minutes of walking out the door. Sometimes its a little moan. Other times it can last half an hour or so. And her latest trick, stealing and eating things. Silicone spatula, fish slice, oven mitt.... Just to name a few. On the plus side, it means the surfaces in the kitchen now are much clearer and cleaner. 

So yeah, that is a bit of a challenge right now, and has tested my patience of late. I won't say I am ashamed of being mad at her for it, just a little disappointed. However, with everything going on right now, she is kinda the straw that is threatening to break this camels back. Obviously with me being home for work all day (at the moment), I have a lot more time and experiences with the little shite than Ann does, so I guess it would be unfair to say I am dealing with the lions share, as it is just circumstances and not choices. All the same, some days it is exhausting me, mentally. Then when anything happens when we are both home, I get all precious and feel overwhelmed by it all. 

So I guess I better get to the juicy bits really. Starting with the big bit, redundancy.
I had my second consultation meeting yesterday, and was given a little more information on the situation. A settlement figure for the actual redundancy, a guide of how the timeline would go, and the opportunity to ask questions about the whole process. 

I think the important thing to clarify here is, although we were put on notice of possible redundancy in the second week of Jan. With the knowledge of course that it was actually certain redundancy, but there is a process and all, I know, I know. Either way, notice of the process beginning was given at that time. SO week two of 2024 we were given the notice. We are now on week 11, nine weeks later, and the second meeting has happened. Important to note that there was a first official meeting at the start of Feb.

Yesterdays meeting as I say had a bit more meat on the bones, however technically we have still NOT been officially made redundant, or started our notice periods. The carrot continues to dangle, the uncertainly continues also. What do you tell potential employers about your availability to start a new job. Just take a guess, ballpark it and hope it doesn't affect your redundancy pay-out? Some have decided on some interesting ways of dealing with this whole experience, as expected!

As it stands I now know what I will receive when the time comes. How long the notice period is (12 weeks) and that there MAY be a portion of that paid in lieu of notice. However at the moment I am setting my sights on having to work the full 12 weeks, so any days or weeks I don't have to is just a bonus. The timeline is a little confused by the way the roles at various locations are tapering off, with the last of them being about eight weeks away. The suggestion is (as expected) that there will be a handover period, and a passing of any relevant information or training required.  I guess we wait and see about that.

Now we get to the important part.....me! Me, me, meeee!
Obviously for the past couple of months I have been dipping my toe in the frigid waters of the job pool, seeing what is out there, considering what I can do, and trying to find roles that interest me. The most important thing is I want a sense of playing a part, being involved, and making a difference if possible. Of course I cannot be sure to what extent I can achieve those things, however I want to do something that allows a certain level of job satisfaction, much as my current role does. Being able to help a customer, impact on someones day, or even shape their future. Time will tell I guess. 

I have applied for a few jobs out there. One or two knock-backs, but more positive than negative responses. Having passed the application process for one role I am very interested in, I am just awaiting a provisional offer now, to continue the process. Hopefully it will not be too much longer before I hear back from them, and can accept, and then start the daunting process of references, medical, and vetting. *gulp*

A few other roles are still in the application process, with assessments due soon. I will see how they go, and adjust my horizons accordingly. Annoyingly the notice period, and leaving date from my current employer is not the only pinch point right now. With the waiting period for the primary role I want being quite a long one, that impacts my ability to accept others offers made in the meantime. It is out of my control, and could still all end in tears for me for that role. However I would rather delay making any other moves until I am sure of the direction the primary is taking. After all I am being paid redundancy, so have a certain cushion to allow me some thinking time. No point rushing into misery, just for the sake of securing A job.

All sounds a bit messy doesn't it? Which explains going back to my first point, why my brain is in a bit of a funk right now. The smallest things are turning into big deals, and I suspect that is due to some stress being caused by the other things going on. 

A quick recap at this point..

Puppy from hell terrorising me. Awaiting confirmed redundancy date from work. Awaiting provisional job offer from first choice role. Head in a funk caused by all the above

I think that summarises it nicely so far.

Now I have gotten all that out of my head and onto a screen, I can see what is going on, and how normal it is to be overwhelmed by little things. I think that is always the way, and some people would do well to understand and appreciate. When you feel there are little things bothering you, getting you down, and upsetting you, a lot of the time it is because you are dealing with something else far worse or demanding, and you are simply mentally exhausted. So the slightest little thing sends you over the edge or off on a mad one.

In short I have a load of really important stuff happening all at the same time. Uncertainty, insecurity, confusion and curiosity to name but a few. I am temporarily out of control of my life, and that is not something I am familiar with or comfortable with, so it makes sense that I feel the way I do.
In the meantime I am trying to focus on keeping myself sane, practising mindfulness whenever the opportunity allows. As well as trying to get a grip of my fitness and physical health for whatever may lay ahead of me. I would like to start whatever role I go into with the best possible fitness, and the outlook to improve on it from here on in. 

Hopefully the next few weeks will see some certainty return, and the road ahead will become a little clearer. One thing I can say wholeheartedly is that whatever the next step is for me, I am ready for it, "excited" for the change, and looking forward to learning new skills, and doing new things. 

Now I just have to hope and pray that the poop machine of a puppy can get her act together in the next 3-4 months, and that we can go back to them being OK being left alone for a while each day. Guess I better get practising with all that. 

Thanks for reading, and if you are one of the people I have leaned on recently for a little sanity check, and venting session, thank you so much for taking the time to be there for me, you know I am here for you too.

 

  

Published on Leave a comment on Cryptic update…

It's been a few weeks since we were told about the up and coming redundancies, and as the weeks have passed it has become more and more clear which way things are going. 

Long and the short of it is, the jobs are going, no two ways about it. Not being transferred to other department or roles, this is, THE END!

Obviously from the point of hearing the news I was keen to start exploring options of what was next for me. It has really been an eye opener for me to look around the job scene, see what is out there, and what pays what.

The biggest question for me all along has been what do I want to do next? Do I want another office role, do I want to remain working from home, or do I want to do something totally out there. So different that it would shock people, such a change from my norm it would give my mind a complete reboot.

I have to be honest, a lot of things have passed through my mind in a very short space of time, from retraining, to just sticking with what I know, and a thousand things in between. Options thrown up by friends, idea tossed about, dream roles revisited, it really has been a whirlwind.

Now it gets a bit cryptic here, and I make no apologies. Those who know, know. Those who don't, don't for a reason. Simple as that really.  
One of the things I have taken away from this whole situation is how calm my mind has been, and how focused I have been able to remain with so much going on around me. As I looked into different opportunities, I actually found myself giving myself credit for how level headed I was being about thing. Shocked by my lack of panic and spiralling out of control I decided to dive down a rabbit hole and test the water.

Much to my surprise yesterday, my head emerged from the other end of the rabbit warren, unscathed and feeling energised by the journey. Feeling like I had really done all I could to try and do something new. I have emerged into a new world, where for a while at least I have no control over what happens next. I may be picked off by a bird of prey in seconds, or I might continue to live a happy life full of new experiences. Time will tell. 

All I know is, I was in control of navigating the tunnels of the warren, and getting to where I am now. And whatever happens next is not down to me, does not reflect on me, nor does it define me. I have no idea how long it will take me to find out if I belong in this new world I find myself in, but until the control is handed back to me, I shall just enjoy the moment, and be proud of myself for making the journey. 

In the meantime, we await further information about what is happening at work. There are more meetings expected soon to discuss a timeline for our departure, what the package is, and any other weird and wonderful details along the way. My only hope is that this part of the process does not interfere with me moving forwards, and that the dates align with whatever the universe has in store for me. 

On another note, I hope all those I care about are coping OK with the information they have thus far, and remain right here to offer any support I can to those who might be having a tough time of things right now. 

Published on Leave a comment on And so it begins… First application.

First application went in today. Early days along the road, but keen to get things off to a positive start.

The past couple of days I have had a multitude of ideas and thoughts on what to do next. My main thoughts were, serve a purpose, make a difference. So I started writing up a shortlist of things that I liked the idea of, that I felt I could do, and that somehow gave back.

Right now money is not the focus, reward is. Achievement far out weighs finances, once the bills are paid of course.

On Friday I started a writing a list, fast and furiously, anything that came into my head. Roles I had previously considered by never tried, qualifications that I like the idea of having. Considering I don't actually have ANY qualifications, one would be good lol.

Thankfully I have also been blessed with input from people around me. Some bloody stupid suggestions, others with some merit. So the past 48 hours have been spent searching the internet, bookmarking pages, jotting down follow-up ideas, and from time to time actually reading up on certain roles.

Now it is fair to say, after a quarter of a century in the same company, I am a little rusty when it comes to most things about seeking employment, let alone the interview process, so that kinda terrifies me right now. Also, I have obviously spent the last decade or so avoiding people, so I think some of the jobs on the list might surprise people.

This afternoon, after a bit of discussion with Ann, a deliberation with myself I finally put fingers to keys and filled out an application. This was followed by completing and passing the first round of test. So technically I guess what I am saying is... I have my first job interview!

I am gonna put this out there early. As excited as I am about the role, I really don't think I will get it. First interview in over two decades, how could I possibly land a job after that? There are other mitigating circumstances too which make me think I won't get it, but time will tell.

So there you go, redundancy notice on Thursday, job interview by Saturday. I should also say the interview isn't today, I will be notified of availability for interview dates soon, but technically it's in the process, so I'm calling it.

Told you I would update you soon, just didn't think it would be this soon! Watch this space for more updates on this and other avenues I find myself down soon. Like I say, I would like this to be the one, but am not kidding myself for a second. But it's a process, right?

Published on Leave a comment on Redundancy – The bigger picture

The short version is after 24 years, my journey with the company has come to an end. All very sad indeed. Part of a bigger plan by the company to restructure things. 

However, sometimes it is good to take a step back and look at things through rose tinted glasses. Not to make it into something that it is not, but instead to appreciate what happened in those years.

Many years back I started writing a book, and reflected on the "Sliding Doors" effect. In fact I have blogged about this in the past too. Sometimes a simple action can have massive consequences. This is indeed one of those matters. 25 years ago I was an operations manager for a security company in South London. Tired of the role, but not actively looking for something else, my mum handed me the local newspaper, which had a big ad on the back of it for a company. I applied, went for the interview and got the call to start ASAP while I was still driving back from the interview.

Now I digress a little here, but the long and short of it was, I had had a company van for years, and had no car of my own. To commute to the new job in the wee small hours would require a car. So off I went to somewhere with guaranteed finance, paid an arm and a leg, and bought myself a Vauxhall Vectra. At the time it was the newest car I had owned. Previously I had had a modified Cortina (don't laugh), and used to go to Chelsea Cruise at the weekends. However I was out of touch with this, and there was this new thing now, the internet. So I googled a few things and found a small internet forum called Cruise Central. A load of like minded people who modified cars and met up regularly. Pre Fast and Furious franchise I might add. This was 2000.

Anyway, long story short, after first being suspected of being a copper, I was eventually welcomed into the folds, and became a regular user of the forum. From here things moved fast. Talk of meets spawned the idea of a new forum. Introductions were made, and a meeting took place where a small group of us, some of who I still speak to a quarter of a century later, formed a new forum.. Cruise-South!

I won't go on about what happened next in detail, but I will say for better and for worse, that forum made me the man I am today. From forming friendships with some amazing people, to learning to work with the media and police. Getting adult experience of what it was like to lose someone you knew and cared about. Relationships, conflicts, learning to read characters, and of course developing a split personality and all sorts of mental health issues! 
This was the inception of "Snazy", and the start of a bit of a battle with myself, but one that has taught me so much, so I am thankful.

The point I am getting to is, had I not taken this job, I would not have bought the car, had no reason to join a forum, would not have met the people I did, and life would be so so different. And quite frankly, I would not change a single moment for a second. I am proud of who I became, even prouder of who they became, and like to kid myself that the interactions I had with some had a positive impact on their lives and journeys. 

The past 24 years have seen some tragic moments for sure. However they have also seen some mighty triumphs too, and I am always one to try and see the positives rather than the negatives. Just like now, I see the positives of a decision I made 24 years ago, and the rewards of the journey I took, rather than the doom and gloom of losing my job.

Truth be told I made some amazing friends thanks to the effects of taking the job, and made one or two friends from the actual job itself. I am not going to sugar coat it and pretend it has all been wonderful, it really hasn't. However the few friends I have made and kept from the job, I am really grateful for. They have taught me about differences of options, the power of conversation, diversity and so much more.

Now, after all this time I get the opportunity once again to spread my wings a little, broaden my horizons, and move on to something else. I have looked at other industries and roles quite a few times over the years, but generally been happy with what I did. So this is just a firm nudge to move on, and follow one of those paths I have often gazed down. Which one, I really don't know right now, but there are a few to look at and see which fits best.

I won't go on for much longer, but I just wanted to make this entry to acknowledge and appreciate the amazing people I have met through my journey, especially those I met from the forums and the effects of simply buying a car to get to and from a new job. The world works in mysterious ways.
So if you are reading this, and we met through Cruise-South / CSOC or the modified car scene, can I get a hell yeah!! If we still talk today, it is because I value your input and conversation, and hey, some of you I even consider friends.

Love to you all.

Next episode I hope to discuss my options and thoughts for the road ahead, that should be interesting (or boring)

Published on Leave a comment on Made redundant today.

Yup, that's right, after 24 years working at the same place, in just two roles, a swiftly called meeting this afternoon wrapped it all up into a couple of neat sentences. Our role is to be "absorbed" into other operations, and therefore our services are no longer required. The end of service will be around March some time, but we are currently waiting on one-to-one consultations to find out more. There will of course be a compensations package. 

Before I carry on, by "today" I actually mean yesterday, but I have just been taking a bit of time to digest all of this before putting fingers to keys. Having thought over this overnight, I thought it would be best to write in a short series of entries, so not to miss anything out, or skate over some parts to keep the entry short. So I will start with the immediate thoughts, and feelings on the situation.

So here goes...
Since 2020 there have been some big changes in the company, closures, consolidations, and other cost saving measures. My team have avoided a couple of rounds of redundancies in the past, and I have to say I took the threat far worse then than I did recently. I am sure there are some blog entries to be found which reflect how badly I took the threat, and the poor mental state I was in at the time. It is actually quite incredible to look back at those times, and see the differences from then til now. 

This time however it was for real. In the weeks leading up to the announcement, there have been some warning signs, and on the actual day, the activities within the company in the morning indicated all was not well, and that there was bad news on the horizon. So when the email came in to say we were having a team meeting, including a senior, and HR, in the next 30 mins, with the whole team, I think it is fair to say the writing was on the wall. On the lead up to the meeting I was frantically messaging those closest to me saying I thought I was about to get made redundant, while at the same time in my head starting to process the news.

A year ago I would be a shaking, mumbling mess, of that I have no doubt. However as the meeting started, the faces of the managers said it all. No words were needed other than when and how much. However a sombre statement was read out, which detailed the reasoning for the decision, a rough time scale, and that support would be available and further meetings would be had with employees in the coming days and weeks to give individual details. Logging out of the meeting, I was officially aware that I was being made redundant, and obviously told my nearest and dearest immediately. While at the same time the IM's came alive with messages from people in the same boat. 

From that point on, well it has been interesting. Obviously there is still a job to do, so you have to remain professional. But it is hard to avoid the fact you just got canned. There is no bitterness or bad feeling there for me. 24 years service (just missing out on my 25 year pay award, damnit!). I feel I have been treated fairly, paid well (something I will revisit), and having spent the last four years working from home, I honestly don't think I could have asked for more. So I am strangely grateful for the opportunities and the journey.

The rest of the working day was strange, there was a eerie quietness about the place. No one talking much, communications to a minimum, with the occasional random question or statement, but that was about it.

For me, my brain sprang into motion, thankfully at a reasonable speed, and I started processing what this meant for me. Sitting at my expensive home office set up, which I paid for myself, the first thought was "what am I gonna do with this lot". Not a major concern, a past expenditure now (apart from the chair), so something that I am sure will serve a purpose in the future one way or another. Then my mind turned to what comes next...

That is an interesting one for me, and I will go into my thoughts on that on the next entry maybe. However, there are a few points I want to make in this entry beforehand. 
I am more than aware my role has paid pretty well compared to the job market out there, and that the role itself has afforded me some luxuries. The biggest one being free time. Having worked part time for almost the past 15 years now, not starting til midday Monday to Friday. I have had plenty of time to spend with my thoughts, and had the freedom to exercise and escape for a while.

Obviously there is a bit of a reality check about to hit, and I am sure it is going to take some getting used to. Working longer days, maybe weekends, being paid less, and having to try harder to find time for my escapes. Escapes which I am positive have helped put me in the stronger mental health position that I am in today.

Of course, it is not just me in this flotilla of boats. As we all move away from this role, a lot of others are also going through the same processes, some I would hazard a guess, taking the news not quite as well as me, and seeing a dark road ahead right now. To them, I wish them the best, and hope they can take some time to reflect on how exceptional the last however many years have been, and hope they can make the required adjustments to find some light. 

And of course, I have to take a moment to recognise the changes this means to my home life too. No more being at home with the dogs all day, no more cosy home office. Back to seeing the wife in the morning and then again in the evening, depending of course on what path I take next. Lots of uncertainty, but very little worry or concern. With the suggestions of what the redundancy will be, I am confident I will have the time to make some careful decisions on what lays ahead, decide what path to take and what my future is, while being able to pay the bills to keep a roof over our heads in the meantime.  That's the main things covered. 

I will wrap it up there. I just wanted to get my initial thoughts out there, reflect for a moment myself, and check in with myself to see if any feelings I was not aware of surfaced while writing this. I am pleased to report this is NOT the case, and that after writing this, I still feel headstrong and positive. Thank you to those of you who have already reached out with supportive words and reassurances that it will all be OK. 

Watch this space for the next instalment, where I will hopefully spit ball some ideas I have had.
Not how I saw this year going, but got to stick with the positives, like .. I might be able to buy a new bike now...woohoo!