new job – Snazy

282 Days Later…

May 23, 2025 waffledog 0 Comments

On the 12th August 2024 I arrived outside this building for the first time as a new employee, nervous of what laid ahead. As I walked around outside burning off nervous energy, and to pass time as I had arrived ridiculously early. As I waited I heard sirens approaching, and within seconds a fire engine came racing around the corner, and in through the gates.

Was this some kind of new starters welcome, putting on a bit of a show to welcome the newbies to the service? Well, apparently not. Instead it was the fire alarms sounding, and refusing to switch off. The irony! The number of times I have heard “the fire alarm won’t switch off” is unreal.

As per my last entry, I have recently passed my probation, so that brings the first phase of things to an end for me. Signed off as “competent” is a good feeling, but a humbling one too. While it is nice to know that I have reached a point where I feel confident , I am aware I know about 10% of what there is to know, and there is so much more to learn and experience.

I have been lucky to work with some amazing people, all of whom have a different way of doing things and explaining things. A wealth of knowledge all within one room, and so many different experiences which can be called upon in the moment to make any incident understandable and manageable.

I can remember sitting in the training room for the first couple of weeks, learning the theory of the role, at first it seemed daunting and scary, but as time passed we all started to learn the processes and procedures. Which in one sense was a good thing, understanding the process of what we would be doing day to day. However on the other hand there was a feeling of safety and a clinical environment, Which is fine for training but at the same time almost sets you up for a big shock when you hit the real environment for the first time.

My first couple of tours on watch I remember feeling like I was completely out of my depth, but was ready and willing, and really wanted to make things work. Determined that I had what it took, I talked things through, made notes and tried to make every experience a learning opportunity. The nature of the job means that no matter what you have done before, there is always a surprise and the unexpected around the corner, ready to throw you a curve ball.

But I think that is one of the things that really appealed to me about this role. Knowing no two days would be the same, in fact, no two calls are the same. Even the most straightforward of calls has its own little individual twist to it. Never dull, ever changing, always something to keep your brain working hard and you on your toes, and I love it. Even more so now that I am starting to get my feet under the table.

As time progressed and I went solo I have definitely felt the need to get confirmation and reassurance from supervisors. Just to know I have done things right. The most reassuring thing about the whole place is that everyone pretty much feels the same. We all have moments where we question our actions, check with others to see if there are other options, and make sure we never become complacent. Some people have decades of experience and still have the occasional moment where something doesn’t sit right and outside help and advice is sought.

My take away from all this is that I am in good company. We all have moments where we feel momentarily out of our depth, however we managed to achieve the main objectives, and all learn something new together each day.

In the time I have been writing this entry a number of incidents have taken place which have really made me feel like I belong in this place more than ever before. Challenging my thought process and my resolve, but somehow strangely rewarding too. It is times like this that it is unfortunate that I am unable to go into details about anything more. But rest assured I really feel like I have made a difference today, possibly more than a lot of other days since I started here.

It has definitely been a positive few days which have really helped me feel that the past year has been something that was meant to happen, and as my lovely wife would say “it’s fate!!”. Things have a habit of happening for a reason in life, no matter how bad or bizarre they feel at the time, things just seem to work themselves out. We might not find ourselves in the situations we imagined ourselves in, but one way or another, we end up where we were meant to be. As corny as that sounds, it has some merit to it. The older I get, the more I understand it.

Looking back there are numerous things that have happened in my life, some amazing, some emotional, some utter shite, but they all delivered me to where I am right now, and that is a place where I feel I really belong.. AT LAST !!

Right, wrapping it up here, I am in desperate need of some sleep, and the last few paragraphs of rambling probably highlight that haha.

Thanks for reading, and as ever, thanks for being here for me when I need those people the most. Like I say life works itself out, and it also weeds out the rough and leaves us with the best.

A big step forward.

May 20, 2025 waffledog 2 Comments

It’s been a while since I updated the world on how things were going, especially with work stuff, so given today’s good news, I thought I would write a little update.

281 days ago I walked on site as a complete newbie, ready to learn but terrified of what lay ahead of me. It was only in the days following that the full magnitude of the job hit me. But I was ready for it, and got my game face on.

12 weeks later, we passed out, and got our first real experience of what it was all about. Until that point it was all just theory, but reality awaited us. It was definitely a baptism of fire (pardon the pun) but in a good way. However as the previous blog entries show, there were definitely some moments along the way.

Many months later, and I genuinely feel like I am finding my feet now. Encouraged by knowing the learning never ends. No one knows it all, and every single engagement could be something new for everyone here. There are always questions being asked, so it’s not just me.

The biggest thing I have battled with (not in a terrible way) is confidence to make my own decisions in the moment. There is always someone to ask, but you reach a point where you don’t need to ask. Or at least you don’t feel you need to. Sometimes you are wrong and should have.

So the good news, today I was officially signed off from probation, so I am technically “qualified” and experienced now. But as I have said, I will never stop learning, so the words are nice but change nothing for me mentally. Either way it is lovely to know I have come this far. So I’m proud of myself for that.

The timing is incredible, as only yesterday I had an incident which I didn’t flinch on. Sometimes pressing a few buttons can be the difference between making something small happen, or something absolutely massive. Yesterday was the latter. Once you have an understanding of the consequences of making that decision, sometimes you look in awe and fear at the same time as you do it. Sorry it’s all a bit cryptic.

So yesterday was one of those, but I went in with full confidence, and it felt good. Today my probation was signed off. They feel like they went hand in hand.

As the months have gone by, and I have found my rhythm in both the work, and the shifts x it has felt amazing. Settling into a routine if you can call it that.

The only big thing that still hangs over me are those moments of doubt. Can I deal with what comes next, am I ready for THAT call? There have been some wow moments already, so I want to say I’m ready, but every now and then that doubt creeps in just for a moment.

Anyway, lots more to learn, and I’m super excited for whatever lays ahead.

So I just want to take a moment to say thank you, sincerely to everyone who has offered support, an ear, or just endured my stories of wow along the way so far. I am truly humbled to have friends as compassionate and caring as I have, and have really made some discoveries along the way to say the least. I could not have done it without you. So thank you again.

Right, enough of the mush, I have a yard to walk and a difference to make.

Thanks for reading.

Starting to feel at home

November 18, 2024 waffledog 0 Comments

Three months ago roughly I walked into the grounds of a new organisation, had an ID card made, and met a whole bunch of new people. After 12 weeks of training and testing I was told I had met the grade and had completed the basic training to start doing a role I have only dreamed of for decades. Then there was a ceremony, an official recognition of the efforts of myself and my training cohort, and we were given some epaulettes and handed over to “the floor”.

Since then I have done three tours, and experienced so much I had not seen in training. Not to say I was not expecting some surprises, and to be forever learning, of course I was. However I was definitely surprised at a few of them, but have chalked it all down to experience, and tucked each one neatly under my belt to refer back to when the time arises.

I am not going to pretend that it has all been plain sailing. There have been plenty of WTF moment, and deer in the headlights too. However for the majority of the time I have definitely felt well prepared, and more importantly 100% supported by my watch. I keep saying it to other people, but I really do feel I landed on my feet here, and already feel at home.

I am not even a month into doing the role, and am still sitting with a baby-sitter most of the time. Which has its pros and cons of course. While I feel pretty confident in my processes and decisions, I also feel like I need to validate myself on some things, so that adds to the mental load from time to time. On the flip side of course, there are also moments when I turn to them with a shocked look on my face, looking for guidance.

The beautiful thing about this job is even long after the baby-sitter is gone, there is always someone right next to you. Usually they are actually right there, however there is ALWAYS someone there figuratively and just a hand wave away. This is really important at times, and even the most experienced in the room rely on this system from time to time when something big comes up.

I was asked after a recent blog entry if I could go into more detail on some of the things I deal with. For obvious reasons I can’t discuss any incidents or persons involved, but what I would say is what we were told in training is 100% true.

Every day will be different, you will constantly hear news things, see new situations and be surprised by the types of incidents you will be asked to deal with. These are generally people having their worst day, and looking for you to offer them some assistance or even just advice on what they need to do to make things better.

People from all walks of life will contact us, and depending on their personality, mental state, and situations they are in, they will all behave very differently . Sometimes it will be predictable, other times it will make no sense to behave the way they are in the situation they are in. Extremely calm in terrible situations, and very emotional and distressed in quite simple situations. Whatever the case, whoever they are, they will be treated equally, and offered the same help and advice.

From apologetic for “bothering” you whilst they are in a precarious situation, to rude and demanding in a self made situation, which you may or may not think is something we should be dealing with, they come in all shapes and sizes.

I have seen quite a wide spread of the above already, but know I am only scraping the surface and over the years will see much much more. All I can do is practise my skills, and hope that it prepares me for the day when my experience and personality are put to the test. The great part is I am learning from a great bunch of people, and am surrounded by support, so I have every confidence that I will continue to grow as a person and also in my capacity as one of the team.

I am now on my rest days between tours, and taking a bit of time to deal with everything I have experienced, and get myself fresh enough for the next tour. I look forward to it each time, but also have a hint of trepidation, which I guess is only natural. While I have been there a while now, I still very much feel like the new kid, and am still learning the unspoken processes, and making sure I do things as one of the team and not an individual. As I said, I am yet to go it alone for a full tour, so take comfort in that. But I also look forward to walking onto the floor with total confidence, and knowing I am going it alone.

Right, I am off to write some more entries on blogs, so will thank you for reading and bid you farewell for now.

Wow….People eh!

November 6, 2024 waffledog 0 Comments

First up, before I say a word, lets address the new look. Not sure about this theme, but thought it was time to switch things up a little bit. So bear with me here, things might get a little funky for a while. OK, glad that’s taken care of.

So, back to me, that’s what this is all about after all, as I am reminded time and again by a very dear friend of mine.

As I sit typing this out, in real-time as it flows out of my brain, the first thing I realise is “damn, I can type pretty darn fast, without looking at the keyboard, without thinking about where I need to hit next, it just flows. I guess if it didn’t then I would probably not write blogs as it would take foreeeeeverrrrr! However it seems that that is not always the case and I will get onto that shortly.

Let’s get you all up to speed on how things have been since training ended. The first notable thing is pass-out. Finally in full uniform, and surrounded by my nearest and dearest, the day was amazing. I don’t say that lightly, and have to admit it went far beyond my expectations. I know i keep saying it, but I really feel like part of a family in my new role, and that will continue to become apparent as I write more I am sure .

The setting was of course at work, and I was able to introduce my best friends to my bestie at work, and we all got to spend some time together as a complete group. It felt important to me for everyone who is special and close to me to know each other, and see that each of them has a place in my heart, and a role in my life. And I hope deep inside that they can all lean on each other at times too, regardless of if the situation is about me or not.

After seeing my line manager and being invited to show my guests around my workplace, it was time for the pass-out ceremony. All sitting in the same room, with my training cohort, trainers, line management, senior officers and of course my guests. I felt SO proud to be a part of the day, and even prouder to be joining the workforce after proving my worth over the past 12 weeks. Standing up to receive my certificate from the Deputy Assistant Commissioner was a very proud moment for me indeed.

Formalities over, it was time for food and fun, and we were lucky enough to have been joined by a 64 meter turntable ladder to have a look at and experience. If you know me, you know I love big machines, and this thing is no exception. Giving an amazing view of London from the top, and getting to see the expanse that I will now play a role in protecting and helping in their worst moments.

Once the day came to an end, we jumped in the car, popped home and headed off to Wales for a few days to relax, before coming back to London for my first tour as a qualified member of staff. Training is one thing, but being in a live environment, and dealing with real incidents and events is something totally different. But OMG I love it!

Was I nervous? Duh, of course I was. Not knowing what to expect is all part of it. No one in the role will ever tell you they have heard it all, or are ready for ANYTHING, because neither statement would ever be true. But do I feel confident enough to listen, gather information, seek advice and get the right help on its way as quickly as possible? ABSOLUTELY!

This isn’t about knowing it all, or having all the answers. It is about being part of a well oiled machine, having access to a wealth of information, and having good people to lean on for advice. No two calls are the same, and after just one tour, or three shifts ranging across all the hours of the day, during fireworks weekend, I can say with absolute certainty that I did not once take a call the same as anything else I had taken already. Similar incidents, yes of course. But it is the interaction with the individual that makes each call so differently.

London has a huge population, consisting of people from all walks of life. From wealthy to the homeless, from all corners of the globe. Covering all ethnicities, religions, languages etc. Not to mention the state of mind of the callers can massively influence how the call goes. From simple things that needed a little care and reassurance, to larger incidents requiring robust instruction, careful questioning, and a lot of behind the scene actions, I think we covered it all. Not to say there is nothing more to experience, because there is, and I look forward to helping in those matters too.

Grateful, humble, polite, confused and down right abusive, I had the opportunity to speak to people from all areas. Treating each one as an individual, giving each the same treatment, and of course making sure I took the best course of action for them in their situation. Matters like this are a great leveller. Knowing someone is having a bad day, and is in need of your help is all I need to treat them with respect regardless of how they choose to present themselves in the moment.

Sitting here now on my second rest day, I am enjoying feeling relaxed enough to write this, and at the same time energised enough to want to share my stories (within guidelines), to show people just how great the role is, and how thankful I am to be in this position. This time last year I was miserable, introvert, and completely unaware of how shitty I felt. Being made redundant turned my life around, for the better.

Setting me on this path of self exploration, and opening my eyes to not only what I really wanted to do, but also the opportunities I had to make those dreams a reality. Now I sit here, proud of my achievements, happy with my choices, and excited for what the future brings.

For the record… I in no way think I know it all, believe I am ready to be set free on my own on the floor, or have the knowledge or abilities to deal with any situation. But the great thing is, I don’t think I need it all either. Of course experience will help me become quicker and more efficient at what I do. I will have to lean less on others for the main part of the calls. It will also give me the confidence to feel much more prepared for whatever comes next. However, I vow to always remain humble about my role and abilities, keep my mind open to new information and training, and adapt as the world and risks change around us.

The things I have experienced over the past three days are just the tip of the iceberg, and there is so much more to come. I am sure my closest friends will hear lots more about it all, and for that I thank them in advance.

In the meantime, I am going to use this entry to hold myself accountable. Not only do I promise to stick to the vows I have made above, I also swear something else.
Now that I have my toes under the desk at work, and have a VERY structured routine for work shifts at work, I now vow to turn my attention to myself, and get back to a level of fitness I am happy with. The past few weeks have been very relaxed physically, and I know my fitness is suffering a bit. Proven by a short ride on Zwift today.

So, from my next tour, I am going to ensure I look after myself mentally and physically. Taking time for myself, scheduling exercise in to both working and rest days, and most of all, get my arse back on a bike and riding outside. It has long been my crutch, and hope it will continue to be. Burning off negative energy, getting out of my own head, and breathing fresh air in nice open places.

Right, that said, I am off out into the chilly winter afternoon.

Training – That’s a wrap!

October 20, 2024 waffledog 0 Comments

Ten weeks of training has flown by, but at the same time I feel like I have worked for the organisation for ages now. Every day feels so familiar already, yet I don’t for one second resent waking up at 5am each day to start my day.

A typical day for me at the moment is up at just after 5am, get myself ready, and leave the house a bit before six… This allows me to beat the traffic, get out from under my wifes feet so she can start her day the way she likes to, and most importantly, it allows me to get to work, park, then start my day with a run or a session in the gym. Cardio, weights or yoga, as long as I am moving, I am waking up and preparing for the day properly.

For the past ten weeks now, this has been my routine Mon to Fri. And as I have touched on before, I am definitely feeling it now. This weekend I have done NOTHING… Nada, naff all, diddly squat! Because I felt my body and mind needed a bit of a reset.

Next week, aka from tomorrow, there are final assessments to be done, to formally start my probation at work. First tests are tomorrow, with my practical test being probably on Tuesday.. After they are done, I wait, we wait. Once all the assessments are done, we get our results and see if we have passed.

How do I feel about the I hear you ask. Well, to be honest, quite relaxed. I know I am not ready to fly solo, and I won’t be for some time yet. However I have confidence that I have taken on board a lot of the information, procedures, and other bits that will help me be able to make time critical decisions when I need to. Will I get 100% and be top of the class….. Nope, I doubt that, but obviously would love to do the best I can, and feel like that will definitely be more than enough.

If all goes as expected, I then have a few days between passing and pass-out. Then a few more days before my first set of shifts. This time in two weeks I could /should be on duty, serving London with an amazing group of people.

I feel so lucky to have been put on the watch I have. Having done a couple of weeks with them already, I feel at home, supported and confident that I will grow and develop to be as awesome as them all one day.

Also, if I get the green light, I will have a change of shift routine too, which will allow me more time to rest, relax and do my own thing, and this five day week thing will all be in the past. If for no other reason, this is a great reason to make sure I shine come test day.

Three days on, three days off, rolling rota forever more. Unless of course that is changed, which is possible as an idea has been put forward. But for now I am happy with it as it is.

If the first couple of days of next week go well, on October 29th I will pass out from training and become a full on probationer til some time in 2025.

I’m sure I have said it a few times now, bit being made redundant from FedEx was a blessing in disguise. Since starting the training for the new role I have re-found my appreciation for people, being social, and have had my faith restored in how positive it is to work in a team. Let’s hear it for good people.

There is a downside of course, there is always a downside. Every action has an opposite reaction and all that. I bid farewell to my bestie. She has been by my side for ten weeks now. We have had some amazing chats, gotten to know each other so well, and now our paths will barely ever cross again. 😢

But I know, or I hope I know… When the opportunity presents itself, when we have down time, or just need a rant or a chat, we will both still be there for each other.

That is not to say I won’t miss the rest of the cohort too, of course I will. A room full of unique personalities who I have gotten to know so well over the past ten weeks. I will see more of some than others, and it will be good to exchange stories and experiences moving forward.

Even more exciting is immediately after we finish, another group start training, then another after them, so in the blink of an eye we will no longer be the newbies.

It has been a crazy, interesting, entertaining, amusing and sometimes emotional journey. And we have only just begun. Here’s to passing what I need to, taking the next steps, and hope I never have to speak to any of you from work, EVEERRRR! But if I do, I’m on it, and I have your back! ❤️

Thanks to everyone who has been with me along the journey so far, I have appreciated all your kind messages and words, not to mention supportive chats when it has been needed.

Fingers crossed the next entry will be a good one. Thanks for reading as ever.

Woooah, we’re half way there!

September 22, 2024 waffledog 0 Comments

What a blur! Hard to believe that SIX weeks of training have passed already, consisting of three in the classroom, two on the floor actually doing part of the role, and another back in the classroom. From walking into the reception area on the first day, and looking around at the people in there wondering if we were all new starters, to now casually walking around the place with confidence.

First and foremost I am proud of myself, for overcoming my inhibitions, putting the right foot forwards and starting as I mean to go on. From the first day I was offered the role I was determined that I would not be my old self of recent years, and instead project the confidence I remember having so many years ago. My aim was to stand out, without STANDING OUT!! If that makes sense. Be noticed and talked about for the right reasons, and not be the topic of gossip.

From day one I have tried to make bonds and support my fellow trainees in any way I could. Looking out for people, giving encouragement and praise, and most of all, trying to be a team player, and make sure we all made it through being the best versions of ourselves possible. All the while trying not to revert back to previous fake versions of myself. Not becoming a person I needed to be, but be the person I wanted to be known as. And dare I say, I think I have done it.

Donning a mask, creating a character, and acting in a way I need to is something I am familiar with, and any person who has read these blogs over the years will know of my journey, and the pitfalls I have encountered over the decades of doing this. So to have a totally fresh start, be known as me, Michael, and not the previous iterations of me was key. For the first few weeks I honestly questioned was I being genuine? Was the real me coming across, or was I trying too hard?

Reading back through the entries here has given me the confirmation that I needed, that I have indeed simply found the real me hidden inside the complex mixtures or personalities I have encountered and emulated over many years. It is SO refreshing to feel myself again. Feel that I am being honest with people and only showing them who I am, and not something or someone I want to be seen as. I really think this is important in this role, and being in touch with yourself is a great asset to dealing with the things the role expose you to. Being human and relatable above all.

I have had my doubts along the way, questioning if I was capable of doing it in the first place, how I would get on in a class environment, given the last time I was in one was 1989 and I walked away with nothing. I say nothing, I had the knowledge and the experience, just not the certification and proof that I had it all. Not that it has hindered me in life one bit. I am pleased to report however that I am enjoying the experience, and feel like I am learning so much. I have done more writing, as in pen and paper, in the past six weeks than I think I did my entire time at school. But that is a good thing. Like blogging, writing things helps me remember them, as it is a manual processing of my thoughts.

Having finally managed to catch up with one of the seniors earlier this week, I am happy with the feedback I received, and that has given me a little more confidence and spark to dig ever deeper to reach the standard I expect of myself. There is a midway test coming up next week, which I am kinda looking forward to, just to see where I am and see what I need to improve on over the coming five weeks. It is incredible to think that in six weeks time I will hopefully have passed my last validation, been assigned to a work group and be starting my journey in a qualified (yet probationary) role. Fingers crossed anyway!

At the end of the working week this week I also had the opportunity to sit down with the trainers and discuss both my progress and have a welfare check to see all was well. From my side of things I am in a good place, happy with how things are in the classroom, confident things are sinking in, and not fazed by any of the topics or discussions. When asked if I had any questions or concerns, I simply asked how I was perceived. Not in an insecure way, but more to make sure that it was seen that I could be part of a team, and integrate within one of the work groups. There didn’t seem to be any concern there whatsoever, so again that was a nice boost for me.

Another thing I realised was that all this incessant blogging and babbling on about things has really helped with my typing speed and keyboard confidence. Not that I ever thought I was slow, or struggled with IT, but it has definitely helped me when it comes to parts of the role where being familiar with the keyboard really helps. Random but factual.

So…..Here I am, past the half way mark, energised by what I have learned and experienced so far, excited about what lays ahead. Unfazed by the environment, really happy to be around lots of people (a phrase I never thought I would be saying). There is a lot to fit in over the coming weeks, but I have confidence in myself, my fellow trainees and most of all, the trainers and the system.

Here’s to my/ our successful passing out at the end of Oct…. fingers crossed

Big shout out to my support network both new and old.

Here goes….

September 3, 2024 waffledog 0 Comments

Well that was a rough night’s sleep if I ever had one. OK… I have had worse for sure but it wasn’t great. My minor insecurities have caught up with me, and I had a few dreams where I was running away from it all.

I have to say it feels good to have some ‘worries’ about today, rathe than arrogantly and over confidently strolling in like a boss and then messing up.

Stay humble, be honest, highlight concerns and take it one step at a time. That’s the way I am trying to do this. Confidence in the system. Although there have been some points where it didn’t all sink in as well, now is the time to rectify that.

Six shifts of using what I have learned in real life. Putting to practice the theories and mock tests, and filling in the gaps to make me more prepared for the end of training.

Although I am saying all the right things, I am of course nervous. I have met some of the people I am working with this week and next, but still more to meet. I have had messages of confidence from others, but this is still my journey.

Awake since 4am I have tried to distract myself from my thoughts, with varying levels of success, instead thinking about having enough food and drink for the shift, wondering why I still have not sorted out food in the mess for myself yet and so on.

Small details, all which can be addressed in good time. For now my aims are simple. Get to work early, don’t get caught up in the post school holidays traffic, give myself time for a walk and mindfulness, and just be myself and be honest with my doubts and worries about my knowledge. And if course, get stuck in and try try try!

The traffic part should be interesting. If I leave 10 mins later than usual the traffic is already starting to build, and that was during the school holidays. This week the schools are back, so we shall see how that changes things. I will of course plan to be at work silly early just to allow myself time to wake up properly and prepare mentally and physically for the day.

Right, I better get ready… Here goes!

Week 1 done!

August 16, 2024 waffledog 0 Comments

Wow, what a blast it has been.

First thing I have to say is thank you to everyone at the operations centre for making me feel so welcome and immediately part of an organisation. The term family gets used a lot, and after just a week I can see how that quickly becomes the feeling. It would he an honour to become another member of such an amazing family.

It has been forever since a work place excited me quite as much as this. Without sounding corny, just the feeling of wanting to be in a place of work, let alone engage with the people there is great.

Walking into areas where established employees are relaxing on their breaks, having a moment to themselves, you expect there to be a sense of annoyance at someone new or an outsider encroaching on their time and space. But it’s been the complete opposite.

Remembering who we are talking about here…. Me! Finding myself not only welcomed into the space, but to feel like I can actively engage in conversation with complete strangers is genuinely incredible. It almost has me question who I am! Haha.

Over the past few months I have done a lot of work on my mental well-being, as I am sure I have mentioned a few times along the way. During that time I have become aware that I have made some massive strides, but this was always going to be the big test.

During the interview and testing stages for this role I had surprised myself at my confidence in the moment and the lack of anxiety and over thinking before and after. Obviously this was not fluke, it was “the new me” shining through.

Fast forward to the weeks running up to my start time, the only thing that was playing on my mind was my DBS as it was not something I had control over, but instead had control of me. Thankfully we know how this worked out. Even on the lead up to my first day I felt calm, slept well, and didn’t feel like it was playing on my mind.

Turning up at work on my first day, arriving early, spotting who I thought was also a new starter outside, I found myself making the first move to introduce myself and strike up a conversation with him. Thankfully I was right and he was indeed also there to start his control training. So before we had even entered the premises, I knew someone.

Next step, signing in, being met by the training team, and meeting the rest of the group I would be training with. Eight of us in all. Once all signed in and taken to a room, the introductions started. Previously as the wave of intros went around the table I would be practising what I was going to say, and not hearing what anyone else said. This time was so different. Listening to the people, hearing their stories and feeling inspired to add more to my own story.

From that point on, we had a quick tour of the building, then got stuck into information absorbing, aka learning. The next few days, bonds have grown, comfort around each other has developed. Rather than feeling daft, stupid or vulnerable when something hasn’t quite sunk in during a lesson, I feel confident and comfortable either asking the question to the whole group, or scooting over to a colleague and asking them to repeat or explain it.

It’s at this stage slightly question myself. In the past many years ago confidence could quickly come across as cockiness. So I have been careful to try and keep things in check. Not that my personality is normally obnoxious, but I don’t want it to appear that way if I start to feel like I have to play to a stereotype. I think in recent years I have very much used this personality as my crutch to get me through testing times.

This time I don’t feel I need it. I feel like I am being my genuine self, am accepted for who I am, and most importantly, I feel my personality fits into the group and our environment. No need to.be someone I am not. Hired as the person they met on the day, it is only right I remain that person and no one else.

So, week 1 of learning has been an eye opener. Once again, classroom was never my favourite place to be back when I was at school, but I think I recall enjoying it for a long time until learning ended and I became bored. Dealing with the things I will eventually be dealing with, I can’t ever imagine a day when I feel I am not getting any mental stimulation.

My brain is currently digesting everything that has been thrown at it over the week. Most of which has been taken on board, some bits will need a recap, some homework, and practice to really solidify it in place.

The weekend will be a time to decompress, revise at times, and relax for a bit. Next week my plan is to get to work early, go for a run or use the on-site gym, then get stuck into learning. The last week has been quite limited for physical activities, so I want to get back on track. I think going back to starting my day with a run, walk or ride will set me up better for the day.

Right, I have rambled on, just needed to get some of those bits out of my head. Been meaning to blog the last few days but was focusing on getting some rest. I know however there are people who want to know what is going on, so this is for you.

Thanks for reading, thanks to the new place for the opportunity and welcome, and let’s get ready for Week 2.

Another day done

August 13, 2024 waffledog 0 Comments

Back home after day two. Parking on site, slightly more relaxed attire, and any nerves I did have pretty much gone. Arrived early on site to work out passes, parking, and familiarise myself with the layout of the building at my own pace. A little pop quiz with myself, walking through doors and corridors and trying to remember what I expected to see when I walked in. I got a B- at least!

Today we got started on some familiarisation with the company policies, procedures, and the basics of the training program.

To say it is interesting is an understatement, and already things are far exceeding my expectations, and even my basic understanding of how things works.

The weeks ahead will no doubt get far more intense, and the learning curve far steeper, but at this moment in time I am ready for it, and raring to go.

Can’t really go into too much more detail without running the risk of getting myself in trouble. However, given this blog is about me and my mental health, what I can say is I am in good spirits, feel like I am firing on all cylinders, and that I have surprised myself with my genuine confidence and engagement. It is not the exhausting, fake, OTT energetic anxious energy I once felt when in situations like this.

Who knew I was cut out for this environment!
At least that is how it feels at the moment, so long live that feeling.

Commute at the moment isn’t too bad, schools are out, so traffic is quite light. I am sure that could change come September, but if that is the case, then I will be on the bike in a flash where possible. I am planning to start doing some riding commutes when things settle, and I feel more comfortable of the surroundings. Where to lock the bike up, busy times for showers etc.

Right, off for dinner and an early-ish night. Ready for Day 3

One more sleep…

August 11, 2024 waffledog 0 Comments

Wow that came around quickly. Seems like only a few weeks ago I was filling out an initial application form for the control room position. Then like a flash of light, second round tests, online simulation testing, and onto a face to face interview at the operations centre.

I know I have said it a few times now, but I will say it again, the shock of getting the call to say I had been successful really blew me away. Especially as I missed the initial call, and only had a voicemail saying it was about the role I had recently applied for. If that doesn’t sound like a set up for disappoinment, I don’t know what is… Either way, it wasn’t, so I was wrong lol.

The past few months, going through the security checks and referencing seem to have dragged, yet in the blink of an eye, here we are. Tomorrow morning I report for my first day. Parking is booked, clothes are ready, new shoes purchased. I’m ready!

I have a little man bag packed with a few essentials in it, just in case, and plan to be there nice and early in the morning. Way before I need to be. Can sit by the river with my headphones and a podcast or meditation.

Parking is in fact booked for the whole of the first week. I know how the next 11 weeks look, the breakdown is 3 classroom weeks Mon to Fri, then 2 weeks on shifts. Then back to the classroom for the next 6 weeks, before beginning my probation and being assigned to a watch. As I understand it, this will pretty much be the start of my permanent rotation with them.

Hours will be a 12 hr day, an 8hr day, a 12 hr night, then off. On a 3 on 3 off rotation. Tough I know, but I will cope.

Once again, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been along for the ride on this one. In January I was starting my 24th year with Fedex, by Feb I was going to interviews and trying to see what my future was. Now, hopefully, this is my future til retirement. A life long dream realised, and finally feeling like I will have a true purpose, and make a difference every day.

All the chats, advice, encouragement and words of support have helped me reach this point, so thank you all, and your actions hopefully will help me help others every single working day.

Watch this space for a hyper / exhausted first day report tomorrow.

Oh and one more thing…. Get this… While adding tags to this entry I realised something…. I’m nervous! That’s not a negative, that’s massively positive… I’m nervous, NOT anxious. I can tell the difference, it feels so different, I feel like a normal person, and am not eating myself up inside with anxiety. How about that eh.

Tag: new job