It's been a few weeks since we were told about the up and coming redundancies, and as the weeks have passed it has become more and more clear which way things are going.
Long and the short of it is, the jobs are going, no two ways about it. Not being transferred to other department or roles, this is, THE END!
Obviously from the point of hearing the news I was keen to start exploring options of what was next for me. It has really been an eye opener for me to look around the job scene, see what is out there, and what pays what.
The biggest question for me all along has been what do I want to do next? Do I want another office role, do I want to remain working from home, or do I want to do something totally out there. So different that it would shock people, such a change from my norm it would give my mind a complete reboot.
I have to be honest, a lot of things have passed through my mind in a very short space of time, from retraining, to just sticking with what I know, and a thousand things in between. Options thrown up by friends, idea tossed about, dream roles revisited, it really has been a whirlwind.
Now it gets a bit cryptic here, and I make no apologies. Those who know, know. Those who don't, don't for a reason. Simple as that really.
One of the things I have taken away from this whole situation is how calm my mind has been, and how focused I have been able to remain with so much going on around me. As I looked into different opportunities, I actually found myself giving myself credit for how level headed I was being about thing. Shocked by my lack of panic and spiralling out of control I decided to dive down a rabbit hole and test the water.
Much to my surprise yesterday, my head emerged from the other end of the rabbit warren, unscathed and feeling energised by the journey. Feeling like I had really done all I could to try and do something new. I have emerged into a new world, where for a while at least I have no control over what happens next. I may be picked off by a bird of prey in seconds, or I might continue to live a happy life full of new experiences. Time will tell.
All I know is, I was in control of navigating the tunnels of the warren, and getting to where I am now. And whatever happens next is not down to me, does not reflect on me, nor does it define me. I have no idea how long it will take me to find out if I belong in this new world I find myself in, but until the control is handed back to me, I shall just enjoy the moment, and be proud of myself for making the journey.
In the meantime, we await further information about what is happening at work. There are more meetings expected soon to discuss a timeline for our departure, what the package is, and any other weird and wonderful details along the way. My only hope is that this part of the process does not interfere with me moving forwards, and that the dates align with whatever the universe has in store for me.
On another note, I hope all those I care about are coping OK with the information they have thus far, and remain right here to offer any support I can to those who might be having a tough time of things right now.