After two weeks of respite following the surgery on my arm to remove the lump, it feels great to be back at it. And by "it" I mean cycling and running. Having avoided it on instruction for two weeks, to avoid stressing it or getting it full of sweat, over the last two days I have both cycled and run, and IT FEELS GREAT!
As you can see from the joy in my face in the pictures, I am really in my happy place when being out and about, not to mention active and getting the heart pumping. The effect it has on my brain is enormously positive. I can already feel a change happening in me with just two days of being back in a routine. That is one of the reasons I think keeping that up while I am away is going to be important too. With all the stresses of the trip, it should hopefully keep me a bit more grounded.
I have gone on about this a thousand before I know, but I really do support the notion that physical exercise, of any kind (so long as it raises the heart rate a bit) can be amazingly helpful for not only your physical health, but your mental health too. Long hikes, short runs, bike rides of any kind, just to name a few. Escaping your surroundings for a bit, giving yourself a bit of breathing space, and most of all headspace.
The main point of these blogs is a two pronged thing. Firstly to share my experiences with others, show there is a way, and a little hope when things are getting too much for you. Life is full of ups and downs. The ups are the easy bit, but recovering from the downs is the hard part. Hard but not impossible, so long as you don't give up hope and self belief.
The second part is giving me the tools I need when self belief is at a low point, and recovering from a down seems like the hardest struggle of my life. Having notes, a diary or some way of remembering how you did it last time is so so helpful when getting things back on track, as I have found time and time again. But the playbook changes, and so should the notes, hence each time I have a down, I make a record, and see how things have changed, and what works for me now.
This is NOT a "how to" for anyone else, merely a rough map to show there are various paths to take, and you can find yours too.
I think the tough part for me this time around, especially while weaning off meds, was recognising what was heightened anxiety, caused by my brain being a bit of a dick, and what was just every day "oh that's shit" feelings, that everyone experiences every day. Differentiating is really important, but hard when you are in the thick of it. Taking an every day piece of bad luck and catastrophizing it to the point where it is targeted, personal, and the world is against you is so easy to do, I speak from experience.
The trick is to catch it at the start. Stop, take a moment, a few breaths, slow down. Separate it from your low mood, they are not associated. Understanding these elements can change everything.
The example I use all the time is a common scenario.
You are standing at the sink washing something up, you drop it. As you try to catch it you bend hitting your head on the work top. You pick the item up, go to put it under the tap to rinse it, and get splashed.
SLOW DOWN... Sometimes it's easier to accept things. OK, you dropped something, if your reflexes don't catch it straight away, let it fall, don't have a knee jerk reaction. Look down, take a breath, pick it up, take a breath. Back under the tap it goes. Nice and easy, one step at a time. Each step was individual, not one event.
It is the same with everything else in life too, they are not all connected, it is not all part of a masterplan to ruin your life. The more you panic and rush, the more of a catastrophe it becomes, and the lines become blurred.
I know, it is SO easy to say all this from a stable situation, and it never feels like it at the time. But it comes back to the tools and a little self belief. These are not only skills for getting you out of a hole, but also work for keeping you out of the next one too. The less stress you feel day to day, the stronger the mind is, and the more resilient. Going back to the point of this blog, taking a bit of time each day, or as many as you can manage, to decompress, process things that have happened, and appreciate that here you are, still doing OK, in spite of it all. Build that self belief one day at a time.
For me, it feels great to feel positive and free again. Nice to know my escapes still work, and most of all that I am mostly in control of your life.
Side note, I have gained a few lbs while I have been unable to train, and really don't care. I am heading into two weeks of "relaxing" if that is the right word. Getting married, soaking up some sun, and of course running and cycling in some new places.
Thanks for reading, and I hope everyone is well. Always here for a chat.
PS... My CamelChops custom bar bag is on its way too, how flippin excited am I to get that on the Canyon and off for a ride !!