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Category: training

Published on Leave a comment on New beginnings.

Having recently engaged with a bunch of great medical students, as well as the Royal College of General Practitioners, I gave some thought into a fresh approach to the blog. Separating certain sections of the blog off onto a different platform.

New domain, new interface, and just focus on the personal and mental health aspects of the blog in one place. No mish mash of other entries, just plain and simple "ME"!

Fingers crossed I can get this set up over the weekend, and see about duplicating some of the posts from here onto the other one, and in future keep things separate.

I shall of course refer to the new platform on here from time to time, as I know some have found a lot of information, which has helped in all sorts of ways, from some of the MH posts I have made, so I will do everything I can to ensure that this remains easy to find, and is available to people.

I had an Instagram project of a picture a day for a year running from Oct 17- Oct 18 which has now ended, obviously. So I thought now was a good a time as any to get a new project running, and hopefully I can spend more time on it in the coming year. Something to sink my teeth into so to speak.

The plan is to get the domain and platform sorted today or over the weekend, just got to do a last little bit of research before committing.

Watch this space 🙂

Published on Leave a comment on Education and enlightenment on anxiety.

Today has been a very exciting, educational, and rather exhausting day.

Many months back when climbing back to the top of the mountain from my trip to the depths of depression and anxiety, my GP contacted me and asked if I would be interested in playing a part in the education of some future GP's. In the form of group sit down sessions, and mock GP consults at the Royal College of General Practitioners in London.

The initial group session was a blast, with a GP I knew, and trusted, having been on a long mental health journey with her, however the latter, which started today was a whole different ball game. A new location, new people, and travelling on public transport at peak time, what could go wrong, eh!

I left early, and missed the most of the rush hour, so at least I would arrive quite fresh. That worked well. 30 mins early, a walk to get some fresh air, and all was well. Arriving on Euston Road, I went into the building and soon found my way to the right place. Handed a sheet with my schedule for the day, a voucher (which I was not aware I would receive until recently) and a heads up of what to expect and when.

Settling down in the waiting area, I was immediately in awe of the grandeur of the place, stunning and modern, if not futuristic. Looking for friendly faces to try and make conversation with, I noticed that a large number of people there seemed to know each other already. Awkward, new kid on the block in the house!! Within minutes, the ice was broken with a lovely guy Brian. Making conversation with strangers is really not my forte, but this just seemed to work, super friendly and chatty, putting all my fears about the day at rest, one by one.

What soon became apparent was that the majority of the "role players" were in fact actors, given a brief of their character and symptoms. I however, along with Brian and a few more had no brief. Brian explained that we were presenting as ourselves. This was soon confirmed by the briefing and a quick Q&A at the end.  Take my experience with depression and anxiety, choose an aspect of it to focus on, and work with that. Sounded simple enough, I know my mental health pretty well these days.

As the clock ticked down to the first group going in, I wondered what it would be like to try and role play a real life experience. The first GP came out and introduced himself, and reiterated the original brief, choose a symptom and work with it. I was ready!

Michael Snasdell..... the first student called. It was time.

In I went, to find not only them and the GP but another 3-4 students in there observing too. A group of strangers, excellent! Given anxiety was my planned focus, it wasn't hard to get my head into the role. Anxiety was very much present. Not in a terrible way, but at least in a way I am familiar with. So I guess if nothing else, it was an authentic performance.
As the first session went on, I opened up a bit, and really offered an insight into how I actually presented on the day when I really did go to see my GP for the first time. 20 mins in, the consult was wrapping up, and CUT.... Finally I can just be me again. Time for a debrief. I have to say I was impressed, thoroughly. Given the lack of experience in diagnosing mental health issues that the students apparently had, I was amazed at how comfortable I felt, and how realistic it all was. Certainly brought back some memories for me!

With four sessions before lunch, and four more after, I have to admit I was feeling rather exhausted mentally by the time the break came around. I grabbed a bit of the lunch they had laid on, then went out for some fresh air, space, and distraction from it all. My conversation skills were waning slightly by this point. Off to an exhibition over the road, then a stroll up and down Euston Road, taking some time to stare at the awesome St Pancras Station, before heading back in for the afternoon session.

Come the first PM session I was more prepared for the students, and if I am honest, a little harder on them, partially through not wanting to repeat the same story another four times, and partly as I could tell that I was presenting a little too easily. Sorry PM students, I did it for with your best interests at heart, and you all did an amazing job.

The afternoon was pretty much like the morning, if anything over with a bit quicker. Quick enough in fact for me to get out and away before the evening rush hour took hold, which was a huge bonus given how exhausted I was by the end of it all. After the final session  popped back to the first floor and spoke with Madeleine and Niki about how the day had gone.

As a whole it was a massive thrill to be giving back to a profession that is almost completely responsible for my recovery from various mental health trials I have faced in life. From telling my GP a couple of years back that I wanted to give something, anything, back to the health service, and help as many people as I could along the way, deal with their own mental health issues, here I was. Doing it!!
It doesn't get much better than that! Genuinely.

Knowing I will be doing a couple more sessions of this is a great feeling, and I would love to be able to continue to do this, and anything else I can along the way, to help with the battle against depression and anxiety.

I was a little rather touched at being asked for a link to this blog, for them to read, as well as pass on to the students who had asked about it. Any regular and long term readers of the blog will know that I have documented my most testing of times right here, and left it all laid bare for others to read, and maybe benefit from should the need arise. I am pleased that some have already given feedback on it, and found some benefit or comfort in what they have read. It was the aim all along,

A huge thank you to everyone from Dr Elizabeth Paul at my GP surgery for suggesting this, and putting me forward to do these sessions. To Madeleine and Niki the facilitators of the course (I hope that title gives you enough credit for the amazing work you do). Not forgetting of course the amazing students who endured a day of mock consultations, and what I believe were some of your first experiences at dealing with mental health. And of course, had to put up with me!

Going back to the experiences shared with the students, I kept it as near to real life as possible, expressing fears and concerns which the conditions had presented me with at the time. Even referring back to the blog at lunch time to make sure I was staying on track. Open and honest, at times maybe even seeming a little "un-bothered" about things such as death. I won't say it was nice to see some of them struggle a bit with the questioning phase of things. Having been under exam conditions myself in recent years, I know all too well what it is like trying to keep the structure of the scenario, while following the lead of the fluid situation. I am delighted to say that by the end of it all, it was a straight 8 for 8. I would happily have revisited any of them as a GP based on my initial interactions with them. Maybe preference towards one or two over the others, but that is just a personal thing, Professionally, bravo all !!

The debrief at the end of each session gave me the opportunity to feed back to the students in the room, not only the one doing the consult. As well of course as the GP mentoring them. This was my chance to offer them a little guidance on how the session had gone, any pointers for improvements for demeanor, and give any other trinkets of information about anxiety, depression, and dealing with mental health in general. Referencing this blog a few times, I explained that while there are drugs and treatments for certain aspects of mental health, the most important bits for me had been striking up a great rapport with my GP, which enabled me to touch base from time to time,and feel like I was speaking to someone who knew me. And of course the self help side of things, such as a diary and the blog, which I often re-read to remind myself of the journeys I have been on over the years.

I will be returning next month to do another session with some more students, and in the meantime will continue to seek out other opportunities to share my experiences and knowledge with the groups of people who are the future helpers for people like myself.

A massive thank you again to Elizabeth, Madeleine and Niki for this opportunity.

I will leave it there for now, but will sure to revisit this very soon when my mind is a bit more relaxed. I just thought it important to get this blogged asap, while it was all fresh in my mind.

Published on Leave a comment on Where’s my head at!

Seems my mind is wandering a bit recently, and it is becoming increasingly difficult to motivate myself to do certain things. Not quite sure why that is, but I can tell you it is annoying the hell out of me.

Prime example, this morning. Lovely morning, great forecast, fantastic weather for an early rise ride... But no! For some reason the brain wasn't having it, so that idea was quickly written off. Substituting the opportunity of riding out in the glorious weather, in fresh flowing air, with riding on Zwift on your trainer is a weak choice, but it is the one I went with.

I seem to worry about being too far from home, mechanical breakdown, or coming off. Not things which used to cross my mind so much. Maybe it is experience weighing down on me, maybe just my mind finding excuses I will listen to, to stop me over doing it. 130 mile week again this week, almost 4,000 miles for the year, and probably not enough rest. If I am left to my own devices, I will happily over do it. So maybe this is a good thing?

Either way, I know I am missing out. So if it is my mind trying to stop me over doing it, I need to reel it in elsewhere, to allow myself the chance to make the most of the good weather.

I have Ride London 46 in a couple of weeks time, and should complete my annual mileage goal around the same time. Hopefully after that I will get this demon off my back, stop obsessing quite so much, and relax more with the weekday riding, and have a bit more freedom for the weekends. I also need to start making an effort to get to new places to ride.

Whatever the reason, it is pissing me off now. Not to say I am not trying hard enough, or achieving enough. Trainer miles, road miles, commuter miles, they all take energy, commitment and focus, regardless of what your beliefs are about each discipline. They burn calories and take a toll on you physically. That is one of the reasons I cycle, so goal achieved.

For me, there is an element of willy waving involved, a huge chunk of physical health, saves money, and the big one, mental health.

Speaking of which, it is really disappointing that my employer Fedex, does not participate in a cycle to work scheme. Given that it is a logistics company, with green commitments, a large fleet and employee base, and a vested interest in mental health (apparently), yet is caught up in the fine print of the agreements, so won't get involved.

But back to the mental health bit. For me it has been a god send, however like anything, there IS such a thing as too much of a god thing. For me, goals are a strength, a vice, and a weakness.  Achieving them is like candy for the brain, obsessing over them, and the undying drive to achieve them is bad, VERY bad!

As I stand at the moment, I am on 3,876 for the year, so my immediate mindset is , "I must do 124 miles next week". Not, it would be nice to, but I MUST!! Achievable? Very much so, not a tough ask at all. Sensible to do yet another 100+ week, maybe less so.
Immediately after that is 4,250, my mileage goal for  this year. 16 days of the year left, 124+250, would be nice to finish my annual goal before the end of the month.
Why you ask, I have no idea, it is all just part of this obsession with mini goals, and setting close to unrealistic targets.
We are on Day 196 of the year, there are 166 days left in the year, but for some reason, my mind, my ego, my destructive obsession almost demands it is done in one tenth of that time. Because it would be "good" to.... Where is the logic in that?

This isn't the first time I have called myself out on this bullshit, and probably won't be the last. Issue I have is finding the balance between realistic, and achievable goals, and pushing too hard to somehow please others in my mind. Looking back over the last month, I have done much better with rest days, easier weeks etc, so I need to keep up that trend. While at the same time, getting my head out of my arse, and focusing on the positives, and finding the time to enjoy myself , while at the same time achieving sensible goals.

Add to this all, the running training too, and it is becoming a delicate balance right now.
I have put a stop to my cycling training for the time being, as it was becoming a little too much for my body. My priority right now, when thinking straight is to get up to my 10km run goals, then work from there. Trying not to start setting too many running goals, as it will just start the whole destructive mindset all over again. But I know the 10km non stop runs are within reach now. Add to this, I have been accepted for a half marathon for next year, I know I need to work on extended range for running. Pace is key!

For both running an riding, I have managed to realise now that pace is everything. Not so much speed, speed, speed, but more cadence, HR, and pace relative to those. Push too hard, endurance is gone. It's not a race, it's a journey, as they say.

So, long may the journey continue.

Thanks for reading 🙂

Published on Leave a comment on Taking it easy!

What the hell does that even mean?
I really  do struggle with the concept at times,  especially when it is important.
Right now,  slowly recovering from a back injury,  I know that it is important that I don't try too hard too soon. However,  as with many other  things in my life that require patience,  I just don't get it.

As my back first started to hurt,  I should have taken it easy,  rather than seeing the pain as some sort of weakness. Stubborn and determined to prove I am made of stronger stuff,  I push on and ultimately end up with something that will take 10 times longer to bounce back from,  than if I had listened to my mind and body in the first place.

I was so caught up in the moment, and so blinkered by my goals and desires,  I totally ignored the signs,  pushed on and ended up in a right old mess.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel,  and the symptoms are slowly subsiding. With a combination of drugs,  stretches and yoga,  combined with a slow and steady return to being active,  I am making progress.
Alas,  once again my stupid mind is trying to bully me into pushing too hard.  So I am carefully watching the numbers,  and making sure that there is NO rush this time. If I have an active day like today,  the next is slightly easier.

It is a habit I need to break.  Rushing into things has always been a weakness,  and it is one I am determined to overcome. Lessons have been learned on many levels, and new ideals have been found. No more rushing.

Life is a journey,  not a race.....

This weekend I miss out on a bike ride I have been training for for six months now. My ego is screaming for me to at least try it, my recent progress tells me I stand a chance. But my common sense tells me that it is just not worth the risk of injury and spending the remainder of the summer unable to ride or run. And that is something  I just can't deal with.

Already gaining weight (and now fighting  it again) I know I don't want to lose any more momentum,  and need back on that wagon. So here's to slow and steady steps for everything in life,  and to being back in the saddle and also running again properly by the end of August.

Published on Leave a comment on Get a grip !

That is what I am repeating to myself over and over recently. It is becoming very frustrating seeing myself gaining weight, knowing what I need to do to control it. Then promising myself that I will take control back............... And failing, badly!

As pointed out by a friend last week, my weight and body shape is something that has changed for better and worse numerous times over the past decade for example. It isn't a conscious decision to do so, but more dictated by my varying levels of health and self control. Not to mention my mental state at any given time.
Determined and dedicated, I can make huge changes in short periods of time, with seemingly very little effort. But when doom and gloom strike, it all goes to shit. I can't say I am particularly filled with doom right now, but I am certainly lacking willpower or even just plain old will!

T-shirts are getting tighter around the tummy again, yet arms and legs are looking good. Strange old body I have here, but one I need to get under control and fast.
Each week I say the old famous "next week". Then I binge all weekend as a final blowout, then fail to start. Each time it happens I beat myself up about it, and promise myself, next week.... See the cycle here?

There is no real excuse. I have a little man cave full of equipment to use, I have a bit of knowledge in training. Certainly enough to make a difference in my appearance. I can eat clean when I want to and am determined enough. But right now, none of that seems to matter, and I am doing nothing about the situation.

I should point out at this point that, having failed to motivate myself, I am  now trying to borderline embarrass myself into getting my shit together. Publicly announcing that I am failing myself, and trying to make a declaration of commitment to getting healthy again. This isn't a public cry for help as such. But please feel free to abuse me, or cheer me on, whichever you decide would be most effective.

My average weight varies +/- 30 or sol pounds. I have gone further both ways in the past, but most still maintain that at my lightest in years I looked borderline ill. My average weight surprises some people still, but it's a number I have become accustomed to these days.

For years my training ethos has been heavy and hard. Building muscle mass at quite a rate, making fitting into some clothes a challenge. That said, my physio pointed out a month ago that I have lost a large amount of muscle mass around my back, which surprisingly is a good thing for me. My words, not hers. Very noticeable for me when putting on wetsuits and scuba gear for sure.  The only downside to this is the loss has coincided with my loss of willpower, and the gaining around the waist.

In fairness to me (yes, excuse time) with recent issues with my achillies and glutes all coming to a head, and now seeing a second physio about the issues, I am mentally off my game in the name of self preservation, and physically off my game due to training limitations. That said, it's no excuse.

As I was saying, my training ethos, for years has been heavy, but I am slowly coming around to the fact that I am needing to tone more than build these days. Burn fat, and lose size, rather than build muscle and gain size. Contrary to my own beliefs, I'm apparently already quite large as muscle goes. With a GP exclaiming "oh my, you have huge arms, I mean HUGE arms" last year, I guess if someone who examines people daily says it, he must have a point.

I think this might actually be my folding point right now. I know how to train heavy, and obviously training lighter isn't so different. But the feeling between the two is worlds apart. The failure point feels different, fatigue is a whole different game, and the sensation of making changes feels confusing. But I NEED to do it.  I also NEED to get more active again. I am still up silly o'clock daily and out with the dogs, but with the weather changing the dogs are getting out less with me. Trying to pace myself so not to aggravate my achillies or glutes is a chore too. I am a power walker, not a stroller. Walking slowly makes me feel like I am getting old, and I hate it. Being overtaken is NOT cool!

So here I sit, gym equipment behind me, cloud over my head. Thinking to myself "next week", and really hoping that I am right this time. I need my mojo, I need that motivation and self discipline. I respect myself enough to care for myself. Now I just need to show it. Cut the crap eating, reduce intake, strip it all down, and for goodness sakes, WORK HARD !

I have a busy weekend ahead, but hopefully I will find the time to sit down with myself and get a training plan drawn up again. Not to high impact on my feet, allowing for morning stretches and physio too. Targeting my "soft" spots, and really taking things seriously again. I love feeling fitter than this, and heavens knows I like looking better than this. So now is the time.... Isn't it?

Wish me luck, scoff, or just close this blog and wonder why you just read all of this. Whatever you do, hopefully I will be busy getting my shit together and sorting myself out once and for all. Or at least once again! I know a lot of the above is just convenient as an excuse, I don't need telling to stop making them. I know as well as you that I am better than that. What I do know is that as much as an excuse as they are, they are also legitimate issues, but ones I can work around.... And I will !

Thanks for reading, and here's to next week. Oh and me not having to write another one of these "HELP MEEEEE!" style entries for a while.

PS, I know a few highly critical friends of mine will be reading this. I value your opinions truly, admire you commitment to yourselves, and your ongoing ability to maintain. In fact I envy that.

"One day I will be great, until then, I will be determined."

Published on Leave a comment on Its Friday and I’m bummed!

Almost at the end of week 4 of training now, and like every Friday its weigh in day for me. Not a normal morning for me, slightly ahead of schedule in all aspects of the day, but weigh in done all the same. For the first time in the 4 weeks of training my weight has INCREASED!  Now that's not a terrible thing as its only half a pound, back to 247.4, but as far as motivation goes, that really has bummed me out for a bit.

Now, first up some read 247 and think, wow, hey fatty boom boom, and all that. Think what you may, at my most stripped down ever I was a notch under 200, and in fighting fit form I was 220. Reality is 220-230 is a happy place for me. Im hardly a small frame, and with 26-27" thighs, I'm never gonna be my BMI goal weight lol. But thats OK I can live with that just fine.
Truth be told, to get down to 230 in the coming couple of months would be nice, to be 220 and a fair bit leaner by summer would be lovely. So lets see how that works out shall we.
Training wise, in the past 4 weeks I have not missed a single session, however have missed one or two of the dog walks because of heavy rain. This morning I just bit the bullet and went for it, the floors have paid the ultimate price. Covering approx 60 miles a week at the moment with dog walks, so getting the heart working regularly. Home gym sessions I have varied a bit, but am sticking with a few core muscle groups, and seeing nice changes. I would love to be cocky and say the half pound weight gain could be down to that, but I fear I might be getting a little bit ahead of myself there. We shall see.
Diet wise, stripped down, pretty balanced without getting too fussy about it. Fruit and veg in abundance, complimented by noodles and rice, and a healthy heap of protein from chicken and fish. No cheats, unless you count breakfast cereal in the morning. Tomorrow however IS cheat day, and I will be celebrating big with some chips and maybe some chocolate! Wooooo !
Right, fresh in from the dog walks, changed and ready to go, I just wrote this to cheer myself up a bit about the gain before getting stuck into the morning session... So here I go. 
Happy Friday all!

Published on Leave a comment on Week 4 in the big boys house

Well, I am into week 4 of the new training regime now, and have to say 'I'm Loving it'. That's not to say that I'm spending every day in McDonalds, unlike some people I could mention. *tut tut*

There is something satisfying about being in control of your own destiny, something empowering, and a strange sense of motivation. Seeing as you set the plan for yourself, it would be wrong to then whimp out on following through with it. From the adjusted food intake, to the steadily increasing exercise regime. Being in control is something I love.

From Day 1 of this new self inflicted program I have tried to stay on track to my actual goals. The goals being fitness, firmness, and health. I'm trying to not get sucked in by the whole thing, and become the usual runaway train with weight. Pushing harder and harder til I cause myself an injury. That's always been my problem, and probably always will be.

Once the bug bites, I commit, fully, sometimes a little too fully. Concentrating on certain body parts, and neglecting others. Chest, biceps and triceps get all the attention usually, with stomach, legs, and back all being left out. But this time is different, this time I am trying routines to cover all the bases, and get an over all pump on a daily basis.

Each week for the past few weeks, I have logged my activities and times. Keeping a record of what is pushing it too far, and what could be worked harder. Needless to say, the above primary groups are really taking a beating as you would expect, with the weight increasing quite rapidly. But this time I am also making sure that I don't go easy on the others.

This week, looking back over the past few weeks, and taking into account the notes of where I have struggled, I have mixed my routine up just a little. Following a 6 day a week AM and PM routine until now, complimented by 3 times a day dog walks. For this week I have gone for an alternating PM routine, hitting different muscle groups on alternating days. There is a lot more fine tuning to do, but I had noticed that towards the end of the week I was flailing a little with arms, and neglecting my shoulders almost entirely.

Mornings consist of varied styles push-ups, sit-up again in varied styles, weighted squats with a synergistic movement to keep it interesting (I hate legs), and my old nemesis, dips. All increasing in set count each week. While I say I hate legs, I hardly struggle with strength or definition in them. My thighs and calves are pretty huge for a muscle group that I never train. 27-28" thighs last time I measured, the waist of a petite girl and then some. Not much in the way of excess on them either. Calves around 16-17", again no excess. I know I should still train them, but its such a boring routine for me, and I try hard not to tweak my ageing knees too, as that would end everything.
Remembering of course achillies tendonapathy still messes with me too, the 8-10 miles a day I walk with the dogs leaves my legs close to the edge.

So at this point, a day into Week 4 I can honestly say I'm pumped. Feeling great about the plan, feeling great from the effects of it. Loving my new food intake, and starting slowly to see the changes occurring. I forgot how rewarding the feeling of the post training pump was. Feeling all swollen and with tense muscles, showing a little definition, and putting on a t-shirt which stretches over all the bulging bits. The bits that bulge for the right reason, not the other bits.

I am already planning Week 5, excited mix it up a bit, and see where I can find myself by Week 10. However keen not to push myself too much. With the two workouts a day giving a nice split in the day, and making sure there are no excuses to say 'I don't have time today'. 30-40 mins, twice a day, and I am in my zone. So while I want to push a little harder, I want to make sure the time frames don't shift too much. I'm sure I will work it out somehow.

Now to add some spice and interest into it, to keep the drive alive.

Motivated by outside parties, I guess I rely on that a little when trying to dig that little bit deeper, strangely driven to impress others who I don't even see. How the hell does that work? I don't know, but it does, so its all good. And of course Spotify, my access to thousands of tracks which inspire and drive my mind when stamina is low.

So that's me, all checked in, and happy with how things are.

Published on Leave a comment on Feeling gooooooooood!

Its not often that I can say this, but at this moment in time I actually feel really good. Mentally and physically. Usually when my mind is good my body is goofing around or vice versa, but I'm pleased to report that with one small exception, all is well!

So whats changed. I know, it must be that new year thing that happened a couple of weeks ago. The giant reset button in the sky that wipes away all our woes and worries of the year gone by and starts us off with a clean slate..... Errm no!
Got it, new years resolutions, they are the key to success in life. Say something daft while drunk and on your knees on NYE and of course the stars align and life becomes super sweet.......Nope!

Its simple really, a lot of my troubles of years gone by are just that, left in years gone by. Of course I miss having mum around, and a small part of me misses the responsibility I finally found in caring for her. Purpose in life is important, and gives you a bit of drive to do at least something on a regular basis. Then there is routine. As boring as they seem, they are key in some peoples lives, and help us stay on track for what we want.  Talking this morning I was asked what I was up to today, and I replied joking that it was the same as previous. But honestly, that's not a bad thing, to me at least.

So that is actually the answer to the above question of what changed. Routine... I found mine again. For me life is like a perpetual motion machine, and as long as the motion and activity remains regular, the machine never stops. In fact sometimes its so in sync that it will pick up momentum and I will soon be flying along. That's where I love being.

When my mind is occupied, busy and challenged, I'm at my best. My thought process goes into overdrive, my creativity increases, and my want to get things done grows exponentially. All of a sudden for example, I have the desire to write, lots and lots. Get a couple of my blogs back up and running, and get back to that happy sharing place that I thrive.
The one thing missing from this equation is a little button covered device which once empowered me to write big long blogs on the spot, in the moment. My Blackberry!

A year ago, 75% of all my blogs came from my Blackberry's whichever I was using that day. The speed at which I can rattle off a stream of thoughts was incredible, and as much as I love Swiftkey on my Android phones, and tablets, I just cant seem to get my flow.
Same with modern keyboards, who decided that all new keyboards should be wafer thin with flat lifeless keys on them. The same way my aunt once commented that she could not use a standard PC keyboard and far preferred her typewriter, I am caught in the same bind, but a generation later. Flat keyboards are indeed sexy to look at, and for general use are fine. But for really hammering out a long blog, I find them useless. Each to their own of course, and I'm sure similar comparisons exist throughout the world of input options.

Anyway, I digress, this is about me me meeeeeeee, not keyboard and devices of days gone by. Although I should point out that I am currently using a REAL keyboard, a good old fashioned noisy DELL standard keyboard. Hardcore Old School !!

So back to me... The other part of the feel good factor is physical. Getting the get up and go to get back in shape again, buff for summer, pleasing on the eye for the ladies and all that lol. Seriously though, for me its more health than vanity, but cannot deny that I love seeing the definition start to show again, and the shirts pull tight in all the right places, for all the right reasons. Sadly with that comes the desire for more tattoos, which obviously isn't a bad thing, but it can get expensive to have good quality ink on large areas **and flex **

Over the last couple of weeks I have returned to normal dog walking routines. Avoiding my must reach #10MilesADay goal, and just doing what I can, when I can. At the moment that's about 6-8 miles a day, and slowly increasing as my body adjusts. Unlike previous times I'm not rushing in and setting myself stupid goals. This time its all about steady lifestyle changes, and getting into the groove. Along with the daily walks, there is adjusted food intake, but still plentiful, and two short training sessions a day. Once in the morning with some simple physical activities likes press ups, dips and sit ups. And a PM routine on the multi gym hitting back, chest, and arms.. Glamour, glamour!

All in all its feeling good, core tightened, body got that lovely ache to it constantly, and both sitting and standing taller and stronger.

Enough about physical training though, that's what the other blog is for, right!

I guess I just wanted to make this entry for my own sake really. Looking back over years gone by there have been some super low emotional times around this time of year for me, so I'm doing my best to break the loop, and stay on track for my own good. Early every year has historically been bad with the whole Xmas and Birthday dramas, sadness about my daughter, and in more recent years now with Feb being my aunt and mums birthdays, and with my aunt actually passing on my mums birthday, its still a bit of a weird time for me. But, that said, no sadness, just happiness and celebration these days, even managing to get a little bit excited about my own birthday, only took a few decades to care about it haha.

So here's to positivity, being who you are, showing your true colours, and being that little bit selfish and self centred. After all, if you are not firing on all cylinders, what use are you to anyone else, right?

Thank you to little Miss Sweetie Drawers for the inspiration for this entry lol.

Published on Leave a comment on Fitness wishlist

As I have plodded through P90X, and I don't mean with ease, I mean like knee deep mud, I have come across more and more things I would love to do. Simple things, maybe even one offs, just to prove to myself that I can do them. Things I have never been able to do in 39 years, but now maybe I can.
For starters there were simple actions, doing yoga was one of them, and I have fallen in love with it. Then there were some of the yoga poses, most of which I have conquered, but a couple still evade me. Crane is one of them. Mostly is the confidence I lack, but I know my wrists could be stronger too, so don't want to run before I can walk.
Another was push-ups with a clap in the middle of the motion. I'm sure there is a name for them, but for now that's what they are called, or clap push-ups for short lol. Well I can say now, that I have just ticked them off the 'to-do' list, and I did a little video of a few just to prove to myself I did them (I look a mess in the vid) Not perfect form I'm sure, and I know some can do millions of them. But for me, for the first time doing them in my life, I'm happy with them, so sod what anyone else thinks (if its negative anyway)
Of course the list has grown and grown over time, and the more into P90X I get, the more challenges I set myself. Another was feet to touch the floor from plough (yoga). Again this is another milestone I reached a few weeks back, however now I strive to get better upright posture, and to get my knees to the floor too. Sadly my kangaroo pouch is affecting this, so I'm working hard on eliminating that asap.
There are flexibility and strength challenges ahead of me, so here are a few more. So I can tick them off officially on here and not just accidentally achieve them and brag later.
Hand stand (supported)
Hand stand push-up (supported)
Crane
Splits (not box)
Clean full motion one handed push-ups
That's a few to be getting on with.
As for training, well the achilles made a drastic recovery, so I got back on track today with X-Stretch and full dog walks. In addition I did a small push-up and abs routine this evening to burn off some energy. Next weekend sees Day60, so time for more pictures (sorry Blogger) and then the push to the first finish line. So far I have achieved more than I ever expected, and know if I really focus now, the last 30 will be truly amazing and life (body) changing for me.
In the meantime, I'm on the hunt for Tai Cheng to loosen me up a little more and work on my flexibility and range of motion.
Thanks for reading as ever.
Love life 🙂

Published on Leave a comment on BOOM! Sub 210lbs !

Well, as I said in the earlier entry there was motivation to walk the dogs, and the result was this picture.
Sub 210, and by quite some margin too I have to say. Officially putting me now in the 14 stone 'something' category. To me, that is major progress, and also a little consolation that I can't train today.
Instead of resting up for a day or two, and losing motivation, I have just stoked up the fire for the next weigh in, and see how far I can get below 210 now.
Next question is, 'is sub 200 a reality now?'
Let's be clear here, I'm really not at the point of doing myself any damage, other than stupid things like my achillies. My intake is sensible, and sometimes even a little lavish now. The weight loss is progressive, and the routine is demanding yet effective.
Mixed in with all this weight loss is a little muscle gain too, so things are progressing nicely now.
Thanks for sharing my moment of glory with me 🙂