The brain gets going! And boy oh boy does it go into overdrive.
Short entry just to purge the brain before bed tonight.
The last couple of days have been strange. Long weekend prolonging the wait to get a reference from FedEx. Self doubt and imposter syndrome kicking in again making me believe that things won't work out and that I don't deserve them to. And a strange email from the prison service today really adding fuel to the fire.
As I understand it, things progress incrementally with the onboarding. Once one part is satisfied the next begins. So getting a notification for my medical was a good indicator that the reference has been received at least, and is hopefully satisfactory. But of course my doubt plays havoc with me, and I still believe there is a chance it won't be OK.
Then this afternoon I received an email from the prison service to say that after reviewing one of the tests they have decided that the application will not progress. Which is strange as the same test results were applied to each application. No idea why they have sent that, but it's not the first time they have sent weird emails only to correct themselves later. What a farce.
Obviously this plays nicely into the hands of my imposter syndrome, showing me not only do I not deserve the new role, but I also don't deserve the fall back role either.
Logical me doesn't believe this, but the voice before sleep is always the loudest.
So now I just get on with things, my employment with Fedex ends on Friday, then I become temporarily retired for a few months. Hopefully things will all start to fall into place soon. I have my medical early next month, which should trigger the DBS and final stage of onboarding.
Right, sleep time.