Four years of silence!
Aaah the bliss. But sometimes it’s a little awkward.
What am I talking about? Sorry, it would make more sense if I explained. I have written about this before, but thought I would touch on it again as a periodic update more than anything. With a couple of little things I have noticed along the way.
So, my phone has been set to silent (not even vibrate) for almost four years now. Occasionally if I am expecting an important and imminent call I will put the ring volume back on for a short while, but that had been about it.
Instead I rely on notifications on my watch for a small handful of applications, to let me know if something needs my urgent attention, but other than that, silence! And its bliss!
As a reminder of how life used to be with the phone constantly screaming for my attention like a little child, the other phone I have for work is NOT on silent. It doesn’t often get a notification, but when it does OMG it is irritating. Even the most simple of notification sounds is jarring against the silence I am used to. Obviously when I am working it is important that I deal with things in a timely manner, so it is a necessary evil, but also a constant reminder of why I choose not to have my phone notifications turned on the rest of the time.
Having just the bare minimum of notifications gently vibrate my wrist, showing a glimpse of the message, so I can decide whether or not to interact with the message, or just let it wait til later is perfection. Not only while busy driving or out for a meal with a friend, but also while running, cycling, even walking. I can stay in the moment and focused on what I am doing, rather than constantly stopping, checking, responding, and being dragged into the temptation of the other apps on the phone.
Of course if it is an important notification, such as a call from a close friend I will respond immediately.
The downside of this of course is sometimes I miss a call, maybe I am away from the phone and don’t see it ringing, and the watch is out or range too. Or simply because the notification is so subtle, I simply don’t see it. Fair to say though, if it is urgent, the person will usually call or message back, and I will see it.
Like I say, I have been doing things this way for four years now, and I can honestly say for 99.9% of the time it’s the best way to be. Just on the odd occasion seeing a missed call, one I would have actually answered, frustrates me a little bit. But the occasional missed call is worth the silence the rest of the time. And to be fair the percentage of calls I answer is minimal anyway, happily letting the majority slip off to voicemail is fine with me.
For the rest of the time, the silence is bliss, and my mind is able to disconnect from the whole “always online” mentality most of us are cursed with these days. Not to say I don’t have my moments, spending far too long scrolling, after getting sucked into social media by a simple notification. 20 mins later wondering what I achieved in that time. The answer to which usually is absolutely nothing other than burning my eyes staring at a world of falseness and fakery.
Quite often I will go on bike rides for 3-5 hours, feel my watch vibrate, see my Garmin headunit pop up a notification and just ignore it all. That time is MY time, not for being there on demand for responding to the most trivial of messages. Gone are the days I will start a reply “sorry for the late reply”, unless of course I genuinely am, and the subject matter commanded a more urgent response. But I am not here for the sole purpose of serving others, being their sounding boards, and muse while they are bored. My life is for me, and to share with who and what I choose, when I so choose to. God I sound grumpy today.
But it is true. Everything is on demand these days, including friends so it seems. There when they want you to be, but without the sentiment being reciprocated. Here when I want you, absent when you want. Well, quite frankly, fuck that!
I am always there for my nearest and dearest, and if you have afforded me your time and patience when I have most needed someone there, you will know that I will always be there for you too. I hope it goes without question that the people I care most about, know I am always here for them, if you don’t get a reply, just bombard me, please!
Wow, off on a bit of a tangent there for a moment, but making an important point of how these things fit into my mindset and the way I live my life these days. Anyway, back on track again now just to sum things up. Turning off notifications is not for everyone I know. For some there are too many variables in their lives to make it a viable option. However for others it is simply a matter of taking back control, shunning the FOMO that seems to have become a thing these days, and just focusing on yourself for a bit.
Try it for a few hours, a day maybe, see how it feels. Different phones and OS’s allow different levels of personalisation of how to quieten things down. Leaving on notifications for important apps or people, while shutting the rest out for a bit. Take some time to yourself, maybe practise some mindfulness. Did I mention the Calm app? Great for spending some time with yourself for a bit.
So go on, see what freedoms your devices will afford you, and try it. God knows people are trying all the other popular and cool stuff, like giving up booze or meat for a month. Even pretending that they are going to go to the gym this year, and instead just giving the gym owners a financial boost for a few month.
Right, that is it for me, I will now switch my notifications on for a bit so I can see and respond to any messages and comments about this entry in real time!
I’m joking of course, I love the comments etc, but really don’t write these things for them. Instead they are mainly for me, with an added bonus of helping and influencing others from time to time.