It has been a while since I last wrote anything, but somehow I felt compelled to tonight. It has been a strange start to the year, my first start to a year feeling quite as good as this. Both physically and mentally I feel really good right now, and I like it!
Usually when I feel like this there is a caveat somewhere, mentally good but eating rubbish and overweight or the other way around. Running myself into the ground physically to protect my mental health. But right now….. Nope, we are good, all good.
Towards the end of last year I was working a lot of overtime, but not suffering because of it, and had started to gain a bit of weight as the balance was a bit off and the time was not there to run or ride a bike. Any down time was spent drone flying when the weather permitted as it is a nice low energy way to spend a rest day.
Since the start of this year, I have taken a step back and just do the occasional shift when it comes up, and at the same time trained on most days. Pre-tour runs are still a thing, and at the moment are the only times I run. The rest of the time I am cycling. The majority of the cycling at the moment is indoor, and as per previous winters, when I get stuck into indoor cycling, I have really committed.
One of the reasons for the slight lack of running is that I have had issues with my left heel. Since late last year it hasn’t been great, and with the hospital referral in place, I am determined not to over-do things and end up unable to do anything again. The appointment for my foot is not til June this year, although I almost jumped the queue the other week, but sadly chose to work over getting seen quickly. I won’t do that again, work was not impressed by my stupid decision.
Meanwhile in the world of my brain, all seems well. A new streak of confidence (but not cockiness) at work has been nice. Obviously I, like others, still occasionally am left feeling I could have done things differently or better. However I rarely go home at night and drag my thought process with me. It’s definitely a leave it at the door deal nowadays.
This feeling has given me the boost I need to at least consider a step up at work. The first step at least, and getting a better understanding of a supervisory role. I am in no rush to climb the ladder at pace, but would rather a steady and sure footed approach to it. I would like to at least make the first baby steps this year, but have a few things going on at the moment, which would be best resolved before loading myself up with more.
It feels really strange to feel so positive, and usually I would have an ongoing fear of impending doom. However lately that doesn’t seem to be a thing, and I will take it! Even a recent encounter on social media with a lot of opinionated keyboard warriors didn’t have me as bothered or rattled as it usually would. Sure I over thought it a bit but on the grand scheme of things for once I was in control and not fretting about it or losing sleep.
Whilst it feels nice, I am acutely aware that there are others out there having the worst time of their lives, and am mindful not to float around on my happy cloud while others are struggling. It is all about ups and downs, and I am very much aware that a down can come at any time, but hopefully not, or not for a long time anyway.
For now, I am looking forward to carrying on the way things are going, follow the vague plan I have for the year, and enjoy every moment I can.
Thanks for reading
PS soz for the whimsical post and abrupt end, just lost my train of thought. But then it is 5am!
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