I can’t say I am familiar with this feeling, after a low I generally feel tired and mentally exhausted for a while, then normal service resumes. However on this occasion I am having weird highs and lows. One moment irritable and grumpy (usual me lol) and the next I feel happy and super grateful for everything around me.
This afternoon, not in a great place in my head, feeling groggy, sore from the calf tear, but needed to go to the shops. On the way in to the store someone took a fall in the carpark, needing a little attention. Once the interaction was over and the person was up and in safe hands, we walked into the store.
For the next half an hour I was on a bit of a high, happy with myself for doing the good Samaritan thing etc. By the time I got home, I was back to feeling a bit negative and off is the only way I can describe it.
Now I am not saying things are changing, and that I am somehow having sudden mood swings or anything. I am just not used to suddenly feeling good in the midst of a low. For me I am either low or high, never a flip-flop combination of both. I think a lot has been going on lately and that might have something to do with it.
A day off work, some time to unravel my brain a bit and spend some time on things that have been nagging away at me. Getting some finances sorted out yesterday was a weight off my shoulders for sure. And a bit of time the day before spent on admin at work has put things in a far better place for me. So that is at least something that is going in my favour and a reason for a good mood.
As I write this, maybe I am looking at this the wrong way around, maybe the low mood today was the temporary thing, and the happy and high is how I feel. Why are moods so confusing and complex. I think that is definitely the better way to look at it, and certainly feels more positive, so I am going with that. Highs with sprinkling of lows is a forecast I can deal with.
I am coming to the end of a tour now, and have 3 days off with no OT planned, so fingers crossed a bit more me time, and a bit more time spent on getting things I need to sorted, and I will be back in good shape soon. Mentally that is. Physically is another matter, my calf is historically poor for healing, so misery remains with the lack of activity for a while yet.
I should add, its currently 1.15 in the morning and I am in a good mood, Strangely chipper in fact, but I am still going with the scenario that I am in a good mood with occasional lows. Flying through work and jobs I have to do, writing this blog without any hesitation or cloudiness. I like this me!!
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