It's been a while since I updated the world on how things were going, especially with work stuff, so given today's good news, I thought I would write a little update.
281 days ago I walked on site as a complete newbie, ready to learn but terrified of what lay ahead of me. It was only in the days following that the full magnitude of the job hit me. But I was ready for it, and got my game face on.
12 weeks later, we passed out, and got our first real experience of what it was all about. Until that point it was all just theory, but reality awaited us. It was definitely a baptism of fire (pardon the pun) but in a good way. However as the previous blog entries show, there were definitely some moments along the way.
Many months later, and I genuinely feel like I am finding my feet now. Encouraged by knowing the learning never ends. No one knows it all, and every single engagement could be something new for everyone here. There are always questions being asked, so it's not just me.
The biggest thing I have battled with (not in a terrible way) is confidence to make my own decisions in the moment. There is always someone to ask, but you reach a point where you don't need to ask. Or at least you don't feel you need to. Sometimes you are wrong and should have.
So the good news, today I was officially signed off from probation, so I am technically "qualified" and experienced now. But as I have said, I will never stop learning, so the words are nice but change nothing for me mentally. Either way it is lovely to know I have come this far. So I'm proud of myself for that.
The timing is incredible, as only yesterday I had an incident which I didn't flinch on. Sometimes pressing a few buttons can be the difference between making something small happen, or something absolutely massive. Yesterday was the latter. Once you have an understanding of the consequences of making that decision, sometimes you look in awe and fear at the same time as you do it. Sorry it's all a bit cryptic.
So yesterday was one of those, but I went in with full confidence, and it felt good. Today my probation was signed off. They feel like they went hand in hand.
As the months have gone by, and I have found my rhythm in both the work, and the shifts x it has felt amazing. Settling into a routine if you can call it that.
The only big thing that still hangs over me are those moments of doubt. Can I deal with what comes next, am I ready for THAT call? There have been some wow moments already, so I want to say I'm ready, but every now and then that doubt creeps in just for a moment.
Anyway, lots more to learn, and I'm super excited for whatever lays ahead.
So I just want to take a moment to say thank you, sincerely to everyone who has offered support, an ear, or just endured my stories of wow along the way so far. I am truly humbled to have friends as compassionate and caring as I have, and have really made some discoveries along the way to say the least. I could not have done it without you. So thank you again.
Right, enough of the mush, I have a yard to walk and a difference to make.
Thanks for reading.
So proud of you
Thank you x