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On arriving this afternoon mum is very frustrated and flustered. Getting stressed again over nothing in particular. Her latest encounter with Gemma, one of the ward nurses has left her upset and angry, because she dared to raise the subject of mattresses again.
I arrived towards the end of the conversation, just in time again it seems. Where mum was trying to tell the nurse that she did NOT want an air mattress at home as they were too soft. Gemma explained they were still trying to get the right kind of mattress installed at home for mum, hopefully similar to what mum is using here at St Christophers. However as I understand it, the Sidhil Plus is the only air mattress Mediquip supply, so if the one they deliver tomorrow is the same and operates the same as the one we have already, we will be back to square one.

It seems that every subject I touch on, mum goes on the defence to it. Trying to explain the mattress situation to mum, and how you can make the mattress harder, I was shot down in flames, and she just became irate and huffy about it. Once I demonstrated the P-Max setting on the bed, she accepted it was usable.

Then we moved onto using the toilet. Angry that she has been told to try and use it more, she has refused to have a drink this afternoon when she came down stairs. Stating that she doesn't want to use the comode too frequently, and wants to be able to use the toilet properly, especially once back at home. With this in mind, and seeing as the toilet is only just outside her room at the hospice, instead of asking for the comode to be brought to her, instead ask for help to the loo, and practice dressing and undressing herself and going to the loo. But surprise surprise, she refuses to try, or practise, siting it as pointless. Confusing or what!

So to get her home, their main concern is her bed arrangement, once that is sorted they seem confident that she can get back to being at home. I'm not sure if she is using the can't use, and refuse to practise line as an excuse NOT to go home. Hoping that they will keep her here longer until she can. Maybe she doesn't want to go home at all. But either way, with their stated plan it doesn't sound like her idea would work anyway.

So we have not drinking, and not wanting to use or practice using the loo as her starting blocks for being awkward. Now add to that the return of confusion. We have just had a five minute exchange about the bar or peppermint I apparently bought her the other day. I did buy her a bar of peppermint chocolate the other day, so suggested she meant that. NO she said, the white bar of mint you got me. And continued that she wanted some when we got back to the room. I said there is no bar of peppermint, just the mint chocolate, to which she promptly just sulked and refused to answer me. Once we got back to the room, I gave her the chocolate and asked her to sniff it, which she did, and agreed it was mint, but not what she was talking about. *sigh.

The latest conversation has just been with Gemma again, about the bed and carers etc for when mum comes home. As soon as the bed was mentioned mum started talking about the frame having no bottom to it, and that mattresses won't fit it. That is in line with what she was saying to my sister earlier about putting a piece of board under the mattress to support it. Not quite sure where she has got this idea of a bottomless frame from, but it seems that she is stuck on this. Let's hope this isn't the start of a repeat of before.
What worries more is that she is putting the television on to try it out for a while. Put this experiment with the confusion and it will be enough to convince her that the TV is the cause of her episodes once and for all. Even though I have said here that she is clearly irritable already.

So I am somewhat filled with worries and concerns about how she is going to be over the next day or two. Is this a passing moment, or is she slipping back down hill again.
One bonus is that she will be taking a nebuliser home with her, and she is positive about this. So, grateful for small mercies eh.



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