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Fresh air…… At last.

Fresh air, space and time to breathe for the first time in a while. Where am I, or was I? Cannock Chase, in the company of Samantha. A long time BBM buddy who I have been meaning to meet with for months now. So while in Derby it made sense to make time to finally meet up. And what a beautiful location to meet. Yet another part of the UK I MUST return to, with my mountain bike.

Just sitting in the back of the car, taking in the peace and quiet, and the calm surroundings of other people relaxing and haing fun.

Conversation with a new person is always easy, especially seeing as I don't shut up haha. As soon as we had met and got acquainted it was time to go again, but another friendship made, and bond created. Its nice to find common ground and someone easy to talk to, so I'm glad that she is there. I'm sure BBM will seem different now.

The journey there and back was eventful too. Within 10 mins of the journey starting I had a Micra decide to stop on the A38 sliproad to join the traffic, sudden stop or what. Then stuck behind a van doing 35 in a 60. It seemed every over cautious person was on the road today, there is careful, and there is irritating and slow.... Maybe I was just being a little short tempered as I was pushed for time.

On the way back there had been a smash on the A38, with a very shaken family on the central reservation with a smashed BMW. Makes you think about the risks of driving.

Yesterday I went to see Graeme's mum and dad. Its been a few months since he passed now, so I felt it an appropriate time to touch base with them, check in to see how they were doing, and have a good chat. I didn't realise we had so much to say to each other, but every word was worth while. Sharing emotions of the final days of Graeme and my mum, finding out all that has happened since his passing and seeing how his memory lives on. I am so grateful that my journey took me to theirs, as it feels like I have faced a demon, and overcome something. I cannot think of a more emotional thing than talking to his parents about him and mum. If anything would trigger emotions, it was that.

I have also spoken to my counsellor Peter via Facebook and email, and received some good advice about how to cope with things, and when to consider further counselling. Very unbiased, and nice to know there is a genuine figure of support there. Thank you Peter.

With the big day closing in, the thought of memorial has sprung to the front of my mind. Seeing some lovely pewter abstract urns in Catford the other day, I decided that I would very much like one. And also to take a little more with me on any foreign trips I may go on. So now the hunt is on for appropriate vessels for such causes. One for the display cabinet and one for taking away with me.

Another thing that has touched me is the groups of people that are going to try and make the service. Its heartwarming to know how some people care, and are willing to go to any length to offer support as and when they can.

Right, I guess that's enough sentiment for one day. Tomorrow I must go and get something suitable to wear to the service.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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