Gone for just a few hours, but within that time mums mood has changed somewhat. Currently out for a cigarette, she commented that she has almost finished her last book to read. When we spoke about this earlier, I suggested I will take her to the shops tomorrow, book shopping. Will do her confidence some good to know she can still be helped around the shops in the chair.
When I mentioned that we had talked about it before, and that I would get her books tomorrow, she said she needs one for tonight. So I suggested watching TV. She replied that she didn't want to. Asking why she didn't fancy TV, she said that to be honest there was nothing she wanted to watch on. So I asked if that was the truth, or was she still worried about watching TV in case she had another episode.
She didn't seem to like that question, so I was chastised, and told not to talk to her about that. When I asked why not, I was told that she didn't want to, and didn't like talking about it, and that was that. Oops!
So it seems after all the reassurances of the doctors and specialists, mum is still too worried about having another episode, to watch TV like she used to, which to me is rather sad and upsetting. She has had so much joy and pleasure from TV over the years, and now suddenly is almost afraid of it.
So the best I can do is try and take her shopping tomorrow, quickly popping out from the hospice, some fresh air, change of scenery and give her the chance to pick a new book or two up for herself.
Hope tomorrow is a bit more cheerful. Although to be fair, now I have managed to change the subject she is chatty again, albeit complaining about hygiene. Always something to 'talk' about eh lol.
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