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“Its all their fault”

Apparently it is anyway. After just 36 hours in the hospice the cracks are appearing. Being kept too long waiting to go out for a cigarette after a joke with the staff has angered mum. She says they told her and my sister that she needed some meds before she could go outside, but after an hour the meds never arrived, and the staff said they were just joking about it. I have yet to check this with my sister, but I find it hard to believe they would do that.

Then there is the exercise. Now the doctors have assessed mum, they want her to see the physio for an assessment too, so they can see what she can do and what they can do for her to get her grip and mobility improved. Sadly this is apparently taking far too long, and all the while she is not able to get up and walk, her muscles are wasting away, ruining any chance of her being able to walk again. Now I agree inactivity is indeed going to be detrimental to her recovery, but given that she has refused out patients physio from St Christophers for months now, I don't think 36-48 hours of precautionary inactivity is likely to be the straw that breaks the camels back.

Its just a shame, and so frustrating to see such amazing care seen through such tinted glasses. All doom and gloom. Late giving medications.. No their times just differ from your usual times. Constipation not being taken seriously... No they are just trying to make their own observations before taking drastic action. Reports of staff first positive then so negative, its all so conflicting. I can see now why some people receive bad treatment and their families don't believe them now. Cry wolf is very apt.

I have to confess that my patience is somewhat stretched on this second visit. Not sure why, I guess I was hoping that she would cheer up about it a little, but clearly not.
Other concerns are what my sister has told the kids about mum. Mum seems obsessed by this, but doesn't seem to know why, nor what she hopes or thinks my sister may have told them. Almost like mum is just trying to keep her mind occupied on things other than herself.

I don't expect to have long exciting conversations with mum these days, and know when to leave in order not to overstay my welcome, not stretch my patience too far. But I really do with we could try and focus a little more on the positives that surround her. As they are serving jelly and ice-cream while I type, a positive has just arrived. The food... From what I have seen, and even from what mum says, its all lovely. Also refreshing to see her guzzle it all down too. So there, we have a positive.

I have had a pretty non-productive day today, on hold to the council tax office for ages, spoke with Lewisham Hospital about sorting the volume on mums hearing aid, not forgetting a couple of visits to see my awesome mum :op . Still got a few important things I need to do soon, finances are in a mess, work is needing sorting, and I need to get back on track with eating too. Other than that, all is well.

Oh well, looks like I'm the one moaning now, oops roles reversed.

An interesting thing has just happened before I sign off.. The lady serving tea is hard of hearing. She asked mum to repeat herself a couple of times and explained her problem. From one deaf person to another you would think mum would sympathise, but not the case. She got impatient very quickly... Oops, guess the shoe is on the other foot now.

Regards

Michael

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