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The morning after.

Strange night sleep, no sounds of coughing or choking all night. In fact a silent house apart from the sounds of the dogs moving around in the hallway, clippity clop of their claws on the boards. Quite theraputic, strangely.

Anyway, no news from the hospital at this point, which over night is a good thing.
What we do no so far is as follows.
Yesterday afternoon after saying she could not make a GP appointment as she felt to weak, she began convulsing. Thankfully due to some cunning thinking there were 3 of us there. I called the ambulance while Paula and Dave (sister and her BF) got mum on the floor into recovery and took care of her. Sister did well on this occasion, with a little guidance/interferance from me.

During the fitting she discharged a large amount of blood. 4 EMT's got her stable and slightly responsive again, and got her into the ambulance, ran some ECG's and then whisked her off to Lewisham Hospital. I followed shortly after. Why didnt I go with her? Well simple, ambulances are small and I have a car. There were 2 EMT's in the back with her, so driving and not being in the way was the right choice.

I arrived about 20 mins behind the ambulance, knowing they would need to work on her anyway, and I would not be allowed in. On my arrival I was shown through to the Family Room, and asked to wait for the doctor. For a moment I really thought that was it, and she was gone. No sense of panic or distress at that point, but I think I have a barrier up at the moment and am trying not to let things get to me. But I KNOW deep inside there is a lot of anguish and upset screaming to get out. Just got to find the right time for it.

After about 10 mins one of the doctors came out and advised me of her condition, what had happened, and what their plans were. I am very grateful for when you are given a clear picture rather than a pretty one.

The diagnosis was quite simple, she had collapsed/fitted due to quite a severe loss of blood. On researching it, it appears a 30-40% loss of blood will cause such symptoms. And for that reason she has undergone a tranfusion of 4 units over night to try and top her up a bit, and get her in a better state. The next issue is to find the bleed. This is where is could be simple or complex. The doctor says he feels its probably in the stomach area, and they will so xrays, scans and hopefully an endoscopic procedure later today to locate the bleed and see about resolving it.
As with any internal bleeding, its not always as simple as that, so this chapter is far from over.
Her BP reflects the loss of blood being down around 90/55 but should improve as more blood enters the system.

The next question is how long has it been going on, and what harm as it done. Bleed site infected etc. The other issue is, she has been taking Warfarin for a year or so now to thin the blood due to DVT's. However now they have has to counteract this due to the bleed, so the DVT risk rises again for a while. Another "damned if you do...." moment.

She said last night while still in resuscitation "I wish this was it, I wish I had just died" which is quite a hard thing to hear your mother say. On the flip side, for all the time she has been feeling weak and tired, a lot of it has been caused by this. So there is a possibility that this is not it for her at all, and she will feel a damn sight better once she has some blood in her veins and colour in her cheeks.

I shall update as I know more. Will be speaking to the hospital, and paying a visit this morning just as soon as we know its ok to do so.

And if you were wondering about the last dilemma.... Well its still unresolved and undecided, but last night sure brought the true strength of the situation to home, and made that decision even more important now. Hoping mum will be in a fit enough state to discuss this later, without stressing her too much. My sister wants mums blessing before telling Joan about it, but appreciates she needs to know soon.

In other news...
Trivial I know but hey, its a blog right!
Diet was paused last night, wanted food in my to deal with stress etc, so grabbed some grilled chicken and chips. I shall repent!
And also the new phone arrives at work today. Trying out the Android system with a MotoDEXT

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