The next call…

What will it be? What will it bring? Will I be ready for it!!

The thing about this job is never knowing what will come next. Call after call is a crazy mixture of the run of the mill call the the completely out there life changing incident. At any time of day, on any day of the week, the next call could be something you have never heard before. I was going to say "and are not ready for" but that would not be true. I like to think that I am ready to deal with anything thrown my way, I just don't know it yet.

A lot of the time most calls are something you have heard before, standard automated things, routine procedures, and day to day emergencies. But a few times a shift at least there will be a curve-ball. Something that makes you think for a minute and do a little bit of problem solving on the fly. Trying to decide what needs to happen to make the situation as good as you can.

Every outcome is not perfect, some are quite sad, but speaking to a colleague the other day I realised my old personality trait of separation has returned, and I am able to distance myself from most situations, which allows me to think clearer, and be ready for the next challenge. 

Now that you have read that, I want to add a caveat.... Sometimes, something will catch you off guard. And it comes in one of two forms.

The first is as expected, hearing something you have never heard before, and taking a moment to work out what to do with that information, and what is needed from you in the moment. For anyone who knows the role will know what I mean. It's not a deer in the headlights moment. It's not a matter of not knowing what you are doing, just about taking a moment to do some critical thinking, and work out a plan (in 20-30 seconds).

Imagine for a moment you have a really well equipped tool box, every tool you could imagine, and you have an unexpected DIY job to do at home. You take a moment to size the job up, and instead of grabbing the biggest most powerful tool you have, you work out the right tool for the job, and no more. That is basically what is happening here too. You don't use a sledge hammer to drive a nail in, and the back of a spoon won't do the trick. There is a fine balance.

The other scenario is from a mental perspective. You know some days you wake up and just can't! The phrase "I can't adult today" springs to mind. Obviously this is something you need to snap out of before sitting down for work, but it weighs on you a little. A little doubt creeps in from time to time and leaves you wondering if you can manage with the next call. Now don't worry, this isn't something that actually has any effect on doing the job. Rather a little sprinkling of imposter syndrome creeping in for a minute, and questioning if you can do this. 

The answer is simple. Of course I can! I am getting the feeling less and less these days, and even when I do it is only a momentary thing. Once again, just like my doubts and challenges of days gone by, writing here enables me to read back and see what I have done, where I have come from and what I am actually capable of. So in those moments rather than looking to others for reassurances, I am able to calm myself, and get back in the game.

Now just before anyone says I am being over confident or cocky about things, I just want to add that I don't think I are ready for anything. I would like to think that even if it were to be something really hard to deal with, I have just enough experience, and a of support around me to work my way through it all the same. This is the same for each and every one of us here. We are a team.

I have worked in teams before, but I can say hand on heart I have never worked in a team like this one. Of course nothing is perfect, but in the moment somehow everything falls into place and the hive mind jumps into action, with each moving part doing just what it needs to in the moment. If you hear a high powered  car idling, it sounds rough and broken, but in the moment, smash the pedal to the floor, and we are away. Up to speed in a flash and ready to perform. 

The sense of belonging brings me back each shift of every tour, and the sense of making a difference drives me to do my best, while learning more and more every contact of every day. I know it sounds corny, and a little cringe, but its true. 52 years on the planet, 37 of them doing a job of some sort, and finally this feels right. It is a bonus that I get paid quite well for doing something I enjoy doing so much. I have always said the perfect job feels like a paid hobby. And while this is not QUITE the case, it is the closest I have ever been, and I don't expect to get any closer than this. 

So, the next time I get that question in my head, having any doubt whatsoever if I am ready for the next call, I will bring myself back here, and have a read back. And remind myself of the thought process I went through to write this entry. Given all my experiences and interventions in life, I can honestly say, just like Craig David, I was "Born to do it"

As ever thank you for reading this, and I hope it makes sense to some people at least.