At the end of last tour I was asked if I was OK going semi solo for the next one. Of course I was delighted to hear that being said, and pretty confident that all will be OK. That said, I also know I won’t be sleeping much tonight lol.

It is great to know that the people in the position to make that decision are clearly happy enough for me to take that step. Especially given that I know it is not an act of desperation or just making up the numbers, as we have plenty of us in next tour.

Some of the group that I trained with have already taken that step and are flying totally solo now. I on the other hand have stayed buddies with someone up until now, with them listening in on my calls. The next step is to have no one actually listening in on the call, but to be close enough by to offer help if needed, and if not on a call themselves, be able to hear what is going on on my end of the call .

Like I say, tonight will be an interesting one trying to sleep. I have gotten a lot better and switching off most of the time, and putting thoughts out of my mind, however for things like this, I am sure that will be a bit more of a struggle.

You may recall a while back when I was still in the application and vetting stages of things, I said there would be a non stop list of points where I would still feel I had to overcome and achieve, would I get through the interview, would I get past vetting, could I pass training etc.  Well this is one of the later stages of that non stop process. Can I cope going it alone?~

Answer…. YES. Of course I can, however the eternal doubt in my mind is going to be playing some mean tricks on me from here on in. I am solo but not alone. I am speaking one on one with the callers, but am surrounded by a wealth of knowledge and support to make sure everything is OK for everyone involved. So all is well. It is another milestone to pass, something else to achieve, and then we are onto the next step and the next point of question for myself.

At the end of this tour we have the Xmas do for our watch, which means getting to know everyone a little better outside the work environment. Masks off, guards down, this is the real me kinda moment. Not that I expect that to look any different to the person I am at work anyway. I can honestly say I am the most genuine version of myself at work than I have been for decades, and it feels great.

So the coming week is something I am really looking forward to, and have every faith in myself. It is about time I felt like that, and is only possible because of the fabulous people around me both in and out of work who give me the confidence to feel that way.  Thank you all.

Lots more to write about lots more things, but I will have to decide where they go and when I write them. Can I write another before dinner this evening?

Thanks for reading.