Another day, another work meeting, this time with the boss. Following on from my email to work the other day, advising of me being signed off for a while, and asking for updates, we scheduled a meeting for this morning.
In the back of my mind I planned to write out all the questions I had, and bullet points for anything I wanted to discuss, but due to a lack of enthusiasm to do much at the moment I never got around to doing it. 10 mins before the call I grabbed a pen and pad and sat and looked at it for nine minutes. Writing down one thing. Timescale.
I have been lucky with managers of late, and my last two have been very supportive when it comes to the crunch, so speaking openly isn't an issue. The last time we spoke the connection was poor and we were cut off, so at the start of this call I checked we were good to go.
It was nice to have a relaxed chat to start with, catching up about things, and discussing my current situation and state of health. How things are being handled by the doctors etc and what the plan moving forward is with that side of things. Before moving on to the nitty-gritty of the situation with WFH.
The first subject was the general group / team WFH situation, and where it stands as far as the readdress of the decision. As a group the hope was to remain with WFH, but it appears when the assessments were done, the team was not really understood, and for some reason it was decided to return to the office. Since that announcement the manager and HR have been requesting it be reconsidered, and it appears that it is finally getting somewhere. The hope is apparently to have a decision on the group as a whole in about a months time.
It was at this point I looked at my note and decided to ask about the time frame of my own situation, and if we were waiting for the group decision to be made before addressing my situation, or if we could push forward with it.
Given the report is in, all parties concerned have confirmed they have seen it, read it and understand the information within, it felt like there was no need to wait for the group. With all the things that need to be considered for a group of about 16 people, I have a doctors report, requested by work, detailing what my situation should be going forward. The only consideration that really needs to be made is WHO is making the final decision, and WHEN they can take a moment to do that.
It is fair to say that me and my manager appear to be very much on the same wavelength, and understand the importance of getting this decision made. As well as feeling this and many other decisions are taking far to long to make with no good reason.
With all this in mind I decided I would try and set a deadline so to speak, and suggested that it would be good to hear something back before my sick certificate runs out. This would hopefully help me with my mental health situation, and bring me back to a level I feel I can function on, and return to work without any further delays or extensions to my sickness period. I feel that is a reasonable comment to make, especially as most of the anxiety is based on the lack of information that has been made available over the past six or so weeks. It is not a threat, more a statement of fact, that knowing what is happening with my work situation will have a profound positive effect on my anxiety, as it already has once, but for the worse.
The plan now is for my manager to speak to HR again and chase them for their decision. It is likely that HR will need to speak to their manager too, in order to authorise a permanent change. In theory it is quite a simple thing to do, but I imagine there is a lot of paperwork to do, welfare, work place safety, equipment and other considerations. However I have been explicit in saying I don't need it signed sealed and delivered.... I just need an notice of intent for now. A "we will get this done", and then a rough idea of time and what will happen next. Rather than being left in eternal limbo, with no decision made either way, and the constant worry that there are plans being made against me. As stupid as that sounds, that is what my anxious mind says.
I know HR are a busy bunch, and that even if my manager has emailed them this morning, a reply is most likely tomorrow now (Friday), so any movement on things is unlikely to be til next week at the soonest. Hopefully I will head something back towards the end of next week, any longer and I know already that the anxiety will reach fever pitch again, and we will start the cycle all over again.
I am itching to get back into a routine again, work / life balance is fragile, and routine really helps with that. But for now I shall relax a bit again now the conversation has been had, and keep my fingers crossed that next week brings news.
PS, writing later in the evening today seems to be the right way to go. Clearer mind at the moment. Been a tough day today finding the energy to get things done. Simple little tasks that have either gone ignored all day, or simply forgotten about. I tend to move things now to be in my way, so I remember to do them. Must fill the dogs water.... Put the bowl in the middle of the floor etc.
Right, that's my mind fried from recalling all that. Heres to a relaxing weekend (mentally at least)