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Author: Michael Snasdell

Published on Leave a comment on Dulwich Park.

Just got back from a lovely walk in the park with mum. All part of her keeping moving plan, giving her some exercise, physio etc. Just got to work out how to get her moving her upper body too and build up some strength there.

She has done really well walking, managing a complete lap of the outer circle and then a lap of the lake too. All at a good pace, without rest. Very impressive if I do say so myself.

Shame it started raining, but we had a good "rush" back to the car. I have to say the conversation was wonderful too. Warms the heart having a chat like that with mum.
Regards
Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on Yaaaaaawwwn!…. Morning.

Well I don't know if it was the relief of finally getting the meeting with work out of the way, or maybe its the new dose of drugs I'm taking (not sleeping pills). Either way, I had a really good night of sleep last night. Woke a few times to noises I heard, like mum walking around the house, but settled much faster and feel much more willing to get up this morning.

Amazing what a change of state of mind can do, whether it be drug induced or not, it was much needed. So now I can try and get a few more awkward things out of the way today, like those damned council tax benefits people. Although I am still avoiding thinking about it too much mentally.
Not sure what sort of plan they are going to put in place to pay off the arrears, which funnily enough are their fault, but hey ho!

Another positive today too, the carer is running late today, within 3 mins of her expected time here, the phone rang. It was the agency informing us she was running late, which was much appreciated. The lateness is a pain but have nothing urgent planned this morning, so that's ok.

Just managed to book mums appointment for the GP for Monday, took a while to get through on the phone, so I took the first appointment they offered. As I hung up I realised there was something wrong with that, and sure enough I was right. The appointment clashes with my appointment with the family worker at St Christophers.
But with my clearer mind, within seconds we have a solution. Mum can come to St Christophers with me, she can relax in the lounge, and we can leave 10 mins before her appointment. Win-win I believe that is called.

Right I better get on, the 9am regime calls. (More like 9.45 today as the carer is still not here)

Have a great day, its almost the weekend.
Regards
Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on Phew, that’s a relief!

A day I have been dreading, almost over with now. With a weight off my mind for the time being suddenly everything becomes a little clearer.
Today I have had two very important appointments (for me anyway). Firstly there was the GP, who is no easy rider. So speaking to him about how I am feeling is not the easiest of things to do. Trying to explain how down you feel, without sounding like an over dramatic drama queen is quite an ordeal. However as he knows mums medical condition too he was understanding.
In short he has doubled my medication, and signed me off for a further 4 weeks. Which is a relief in itself as it allows me more time to focus on the right things, rather than worrying about smaller insignificant details of life.

The second event of the day was a home visit from work. Standard practice for employees on long term sick, which I more than qualify as now. Now while I have nothing to hide, and am confident that all would be well, I have the cloud of doom and gloom over me recently, so feel that anything I do MUST have a negative side. So for some reason was expecting a rough time of things.

So Dave and Michelle arrived, and immediately I felt I was at ease, some tension was released. The conversation was very much informal, so didn't feel like I was under oath and on the stand. We talked for some time, discussing what's going on with me, how I'm feeling, and how I see things panning out over coming weeks of months. I was quite open and honest about everything, in fact maybe too open as there were times of discomfort clearly visible.

Anyway, the outcome is quite a relief, with a referral to the occupational health worker for Fedex (PHC) some time next week, a review on the situation the week after, and then see if a plan can be put into place to look towards returning to work in some capacity when the sick note runs out. That's an ideal in my mind anyway, as I would love to get back to work and get some structure back in my life.

With appointments all over the place for the next few weeks, I am hoping all the pieces will slowly start to slot together soon, and I can start getting myself back together, and on top of all the little things in life that I have put to one side, council tax for one, but I will come to that. So fingers crossed, positive thinking, PMA!

So yes, I mentioned council tax. A few months ago when we were transferring the tenancy over from mum to me, I wrote to Lewisham asking about how I go about taking over the payments... After 3 months of asking and getting stupid replies back I finally got an answer. I basically said "you owe us £637, pay up"
Right so I have been asking for months, then you just back date it and demand it, just like that.... Well quite frankly... BOLLOX!
After receiving the letter mid December I have stressed about it no end, until today.
As the meeting with work ended, I felt a release of stress and my mind cleared a little. Now looking at the letters I know exactly what I feel about it all, how I'm going to deal with it and where I stand. Rather than in a deep hole sinking fast.

While I have just discovered mum is no longer entitled to benefits towards the council tax, suddenly it all seems a bit more manageable. Just need to speak to someone about paying off the 3 months of arrears caused by their lazy office staff not getting the account sorted, then I'm sailing!

So here's to a more positive outlook on certain aspects of life. Clearer thinking and a smoother ride.

Thanks for reading an epic entry... Can you tell I'm a little happier? Lol
Regards
Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on Brisbane, it just dawned on me.

I am currently sitting at home sulking that its raining because I can't take mum out for a walk. As I sulk I look at the TV, and what's going on in Australia, Brisbane to be precise. Unbelievable scenes out there, and with the river expected to rise, its only going to get worse.

Can't really say much more other than I am humbled by their spirits in the face of such devastation. I wish you all well over the coming hours as the waters rise, and hope the damage is as little as possible, and that normality returns asap.

Take care Aussies.

Regards

Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on The headache from hell.

Forgive the break from blogging, I have been trying to shake the headache from hell for the past 3 days now, without much success I should add. So screens, lights and other such bright things have been a bit painful. Good thing there is no sign of the sun, or I would really be in trouble by now.

So, past few days, been a little bit manic to say the least, with appointments to arrange and attend etc but we are getting there.

The other big change is, the diet is back. Over the past couple of months, with depression setting in quite deep, comfort eating became the thing to do. Needless to say, the weight has piled on nicely. So its time to tackle it. Best way for me to get a good start is to go down the ketosis route. So for the next week or 4 I will be back on the liquid only routine, just until everything is under control. Funnily enough its probably this that has caused the headaches. Dropping Diet Coke, and Pepsi Max from your daily intake starves the body of its much loved caffeine, which in turn causes headaches. But my breakfast vanilla shake with a spoon of coffee should sort that out.

Mum on the other hand is coming on leaps and bounds right now. For the third day we have been to a third park for her to go for a stroll behind her wheelchair. She is loving it and admitting to the benefits of being more active. The speed she toddles along at is surprising me to be honest as its quite a pace. Not to mention the inclines she tackles too. All without too much breathing difficulty. Even her cough has eased up somewhat.

So yesterdays appointment was with the Audiology Dept to see about getting mums hearing aid. I have to admit I loved the office the audiologist has, a sound proof room. I had forgotten what silence sounds like. So he did his tests, and is fitting mum in for an emergency clinic next week to have a good clearout of her ear and then fit her with a temporary hearing aid. She seems quite happy about that. Fingers crossed this can all be quite quick and she can get back to watching TV etc without headphones.

I do have to apologise to mum over one thing. Hairloss. Her hair is indeed now coming out at quite a rate. But as the days pass, she is less distressed about it and more concerned and focused on solutions, what to go for, a wig, a hat etc. Nice to hear her positive side coming through again. Well done mum.
We are still not sure what extent the loss may be, but today might hold some answers. We are off to St Christophers Hospice this morning to see the nurse Karen, and one of the doctors there. The idea being that it will finally get mums feet through the door of the hospice, and she can begin to warm to the idea of visiting there once a week to have some downtime (for me too) and socialise a little bit. Hopefully this will build a little confidence and make her feel a little less alone in the whole experience.

So I guess I better get my day started, carer is 45 mins late already today, still not shown up, which leaves the rest of the morning a bit of a rush. Got to feed the dogs, get mum ready and get to the hospice for 10am. Will manage ok, but I hate my schedule being thrown out by other people (little grrr) I did however manage to get the doctors booked up which is a weight off my mind. Meds running out as well as becoming less effective now, so a review is a must.

That's tomorrow, when I also have a home visit from work. Would not mind a day off right now!

Have a good day, its miserable out there, so wrap up.

Regards
Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on Thank you to Virgin Media.

OK first off I should say, up to this point I have loved every minute of being a Virgin customer. Sure there have been a few little nagging points, but all have been addressed successfully.... Until now.

After numerous pop ups and emails from Virgin saying "hey customer, protect your computer" (or words to that effect) I gave in and installed it. It looked simple enough and nice to use. Once installed it ran a full scan, found a few files and stuff then asked me to restart, so I did.

That's when it went wrong, Blue Screen Of Death (BSOD) was immediate, and the PC has not started since. On checking the support forums and posting I have been told, if it will start in safe mode we might be able to help, other wise, sorry.

Sure I can whip the drive out, make it a slave, install another HDD with an OS on it, and retrieve the data from the drive, but come on, I installed this shit to make my computer safe, not kill it.

I am sure it never would have happened with a Mac, Apple would have fixed it for me while plying me with coffee and donuts etc, but its NOT a Mac lol.

So I am left trawling the net looking for ways to save the PC without going through all the above drama.

My advice... Think twice before installing this software!

Regards

Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on Its that time again!

Yup, a new years dawns, but its not because of that. Just recently I have realised how much I have been binge eating, and swore blind that as soon as I could get in the right frame of mind I would snap out of it.... So here I am.

The plan is to try and get into the routine of shakes and a severe diet for a few weeks, and see where we go from there.

The morning has been a little hectic to say the least, so believe it or not, the return to shakes is a welcome and well timed one. 1 minute meals are great, so little fuss, no cooking, and very little washing up. Now I just have to stick to it lol.

So far this morning has consisted of, up early to let the carer in, call the doctors, let workman in for the bathroom, meds for mum, feed the dogs, breakfast for me, and now time to exercise the dogs.

After that its carer in the afternoon, sister visiting, then do mums lunch and meds. Then off out to give mum some exercise.... And so on. Phew.

Had a very early night last night, so feeling a little fresher this morning, so that's a step in the right direction.

Right off to see how the day goes.

Have a good one.

Regards

Michael

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Published on Leave a comment on One day later….

How much can change in just one day, 24 hours.... Answer, a hell of a lot!

Where do I start, so much to tell, without boring you to death. So yesterdays entry points out I was going to see a counsellor, which I did and am very grateful for. Visiting the counsellor at St Christophers Hospice it was my first chance to see the inside of the place we are trying to get mum to visit on a day basis. And it is fantastic! I know she will enjoy being there for sure, especially the pampering.

I had a long chat with the counsellor, and started to find the points that were really starting to eat away at me. The lack of rest, the explosions of tempers, the constant workload and worry. She is a lovely woman and very easy to talk to, so none of it was difficult to talk about at all. And by the the end of the meeting we had agreed that I will be returning, she will be speaking to mum and my sister, and hopefully we can all start to find some common ground. So thumbs up for that part of the day.

The Virgin guys turned up right on cue, fixed the phoneline in a flash and all is working fine there now, which means the Linkline alarm and pendant is working too now. We just tested it, and all is good there. So another little worry done away with there.

I'm not sure if it was luck or circumstances, but I sure felt like I slept well last night. Waking up feeling rested in a way I have not felt for weeks if not months now. Which brings me onto the next part. Because I feel better mentally today, sitting in the house with nothing much to do is not a worry, and does not feel like I'm hiding away from the world. Fact is its a miserable day outside and really not much can be done with it like that. I will instead get some odd jobs done around the house this afternoon once the carer and nurse have been.

Karen the nurse from St Christophers is visiting this afternoon, to check up on how everyone is doing, and to see that mum is ok following a long sleepy spell she had for the past 2 days. She seems more alert today which is good. But will be good to see Karen as I have a few questions for her, and will be good to discuss them too. She is also seeing if she can get a wheelchair brought over for mum, so we can get her out and about more... Not going anyway today obviously.

Another great relief is the arrival of mums temporary hearing aid. After getting one from Clearer Hearing after mum had her operation back in the summer, things seemed much better for mum, being able to hear was a godsend. But during her stay in hospital the hearing aid broke (ripped tube) and was then lost. Since then its been difficult.
I contacted them about spares but subsequently had to replace the whole thing anyway. So I was delighted when it arrived today complete with spare tubes too... Thank you Clearer Hearing 🙂

Mum is now sporting her new temporary hearing aid, able to hear the tv WITHOUT headphones, which is a first for a long time now, and most importantly, able to communicate with the various people who need to see her like nurses, doctors etc. Best part is hearing the tv without headphones though, as before she was constantly putting on and taking off the hearing aid, which caused the premature wear of the tube in the first place.

Joy joy!

So there you go, 24 hours later, things are quite positive for once 🙂

Thanks for reading.

Regards

Michael

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