After a relaxing weekend to try and help the cold sore and ulcers heal up a bit, and ease up on myself a little, it is a new week, and my first long shift on the floor starts tomorrow. Of course I will not be alone, and I am sure I have a good understanding of what I need to be doing, with a few gaps here and there in my knowledge and experience for now.
So all I need is some legible notes to help me through the early stages, and remind me of some of the thing I need to be doing. Processes, codes, and structure. I have three weeks worth of notes all written up, so I just need to compress some of the important bits down to a quick reference for me to look at as and when needed.
I have a couple of nice empty note pads to use, even a nice indexed one, but the problem is, right now I have constipation of the brain. It is just not willing to let the information go, or even work properly to format it in the way I want to be able to use it. As you can probably tell I am just rambling, in the hope that it gets things moving and that I can start to get it together.
Does tomorrow rest on me getting it done.... No! But it would make things easier if I had something to turn to if I am unsure, instead of freezing up and looking like a deer in the headlights.
I can't say I am scared about tomorrow, although my stomach is churning right now. I have a positive mindset and know that with the right opportunities to practise, everything will start to fall into place. I can however say it is the most unsettled and possibly nervous I have been throughout the process. But there is a reason for that.... Shit is getting real!
I am sure over the course of today I will get some stuff written up, only need a few pages and some other pages cut down and ready to refer to. But I do want to make sure it is all right, and I don't make a mess of my notes, so want to be of sound mind before doing it.
Currently I have two dogs behind me chomping away on bones, which is not distracting at all. But it is lovely that they can both have bones in the same room and not fight over them. I have not had that with any dogs before, so it is nice in a strange way... If they could just shut up for 10 mins so I can write my notes after this.
I have also just heard back from someone on my course who is doing their first day on the floor today, and they report that it's fine, so that makes me feel a little more at ease.
Please don't picture me sitting here terrified, that really is not the case. I am just abundantly aware that tomorrow is the real deal, and I want to get off on the right foot.
Right, I'm off to write some notes.. Pray for me lol