Well that was a rough night's sleep if I ever had one. OK... I have had worse for sure but it wasn't great. My minor insecurities have caught up with me, and I had a few dreams where I was running away from it all.
I have to say it feels good to have some 'worries' about today, rathe than arrogantly and over confidently strolling in like a boss and then messing up.
Stay humble, be honest, highlight concerns and take it one step at a time. That's the way I am trying to do this. Confidence in the system. Although there have been some points where it didn't all sink in as well, now is the time to rectify that.
Six shifts of using what I have learned in real life. Putting to practice the theories and mock tests, and filling in the gaps to make me more prepared for the end of training.
Although I am saying all the right things, I am of course nervous. I have met some of the people I am working with this week and next, but still more to meet. I have had messages of confidence from others, but this is still my journey.
Awake since 4am I have tried to distract myself from my thoughts, with varying levels of success, instead thinking about having enough food and drink for the shift, wondering why I still have not sorted out food in the mess for myself yet and so on.
Small details, all which can be addressed in good time. For now my aims are simple. Get to work early, don't get caught up in the post school holidays traffic, give myself time for a walk and mindfulness, and just be myself and be honest with my doubts and worries about my knowledge. And if course, get stuck in and try try try!
The traffic part should be interesting. If I leave 10 mins later than usual the traffic is already starting to build, and that was during the school holidays. This week the schools are back, so we shall see how that changes things. I will of course plan to be at work silly early just to allow myself time to wake up properly and prepare mentally and physically for the day.
Right, I better get ready... Here goes!