Who knew it! Who would have thought a year ago that I would go to a work Xmas do and come away having enjoyed myself? Certainly not me, but guess what, I DID IT !!

When I was reaching the end of training, and was told what watch I was going onto, I was invited to the watch Xmas do. Now for background I have declined EVERY work do, for any occasion for probably the last 15-20 years. I am NOT kidding! So I had a decision to make, give it a go, or go by past experiences and just politely decline. From the first paragraph I am guessing you have already worked out which way it went.

Getting the information on the plan it already sounded fun, and from what I knew of the people I was going to be working with, I had a strong belief that I could actually enjoy myself on an afternoon / evening out, so I went with it.  Date in the diary, not much more thought about it to catastrophise about it all. After passing out, the tours have flown by and before I knew it, it was time. To give myself half a chance at having the mental energy to get through the evening I decided on a nice restful day building up to it.

SO…. Imagine my excitement when Jason asked me if I fancied meeting him in town that morning for a coffee and a drone flight. Not wanting to miss out on a fun morning I of course went with the flow and hopped on a train into town. This was knowing that later that afternoon I would be back on the trains heading in to quiet old Camden Town for the first part of the Xmas do, then back on more trains to get to SE1 for the food and drinks part.

After getting home from the mornings adventure, I had time to get changed quickly, get myself ready and hop back on a train. It was once I got to the train station to go back into town I realised that I had forgotten to charge my phone while at home, and was already below 50%. My phone and my camera are my secret defence, and the thing I hide behind when I am in uncomfortable situations.. You know, like being on public transport, being in a busy pub, or being around a group of people I am keen to fit in with.

For the first part of the evening  we went Quiz Boxing. A fun little quiz show styled experience where we teamed up and did battle over general knowledge for an hour. Fantastic bonding experience, and a nice way to slowly let my defences down and ease into the whole setting.  After that, it was back on the train and off to the Slug and Lettuce by the London Eye, for some food and drinks.  Thankfully Katherine had managed to reserve us a little spot at the back of the place, so at least the evening was not spent being knocked around in a pub which was heaving.

The drinks flowed, I of course was on the cokes, and not the sort being served up in the toilets I might add! We sat, chatted, laughed, gossiped, ate food and drank plenty, and when I felt I had had enough, I excused myself, had a few hugs, and called it a night. Walking to the station and hopping on the train home.

This morning, it is fair to say I felt the effects, a little mentally exhausted, but for the first time in ages, not from trying to be someone I am not, and not from trying to impress people. I was just tired from the level of engagement I had had , and nothing more. No fakery, no bullshit, just straight up engagement and enjoyment, on a level I cannot recall ever having experienced.

Being among such a relaxed group of people, with nothing to prove, no reputation to live up to, or expectations to satisfy was delightful, and I can’t believe I am saying this, but something I would happily do again (once my batteries have recharged).

So this is me, saying thank you to the whole team for a great, fun and genuine evening out. Thank you for reminding me it IS actually possible to be out there in the scary wide world, and not spend every moment of the time internalising what people are thinking of you. How your last comment was received, and what they will be saying about you when you leave. It is SO refreshing.

Who am I becoming…. What will I be like in a years time. Let’s wait and see.