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I took the day off work today, to get a few things done, to unwind a little, and just to be a little bit lazy if I'm honest.

As I lay in bed, contemplating getting up, I thought what better way to start a cold, windy day, than in a hot bath, so here I am. I have to say though, with the building nextdoor progressing, I am slightly put off the relaxation of my bath, by builders walking past my bathroom window all the time. But hey, I got my Blackberry, what other distraction do I need.

So how about some updates from me, its been a while hasn't it!
House... Well the bathroom is still awaiting repairs, however that's progressing rapidly now following my complaint to the top.
The trees outside have finally been operated on, and are looking much better, daylight returns. Thankfully there is no noticeable movement from the walls anymore, so I'm guessing nextdoor is finally rock solid.

Work, well work is work, 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, always battling against the turning tide so to speak, but I haven't given up on my pursuit of that little something extra.

Health wise I can't moan, since I started training, ailments have been few and far between, other than occasional gout. Speaking of training, that's still going well, still doing P90X. Aching daily, so I'm doing something right.

As for other stuff. Well, I was very happy yesterday to make the (virtual) acquaintance of a young lady with thinking rather similar to my own. My ethos on life isn't so unique after all, but that's not a bad thing. Just means I'm not quite as bonkers as I first thought. Or if I am, I'm not alone in being totally bonkers. We have named our life ethos 'Twittonian' lol. Just thought I would put that word out there, and lay claim to it.

Its always nice to speak to like-minded people, just because it makes you realise you are not uncaring or callous, not mean and selfish, but instead realistic about things.

As winter draws in now, and dark days bring with them dark moods, I'm sure it will all be kept going by some colourful blog entries from me. This year for the first time I head towards my dreaded 3 months almost stress free. Hopefully things won't change in the coming weeks and months, and I can sail towards Dec-Feb with a smile rather than a grimace. Time will tell I guess.

Right, I'm getting sweaty hands now and don't wanna drop my phone in the bath, it might take and tweet embarrassing pictures or something, so that's me done.

Have a great day and weekend.

Regards

Michael

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Yesterday while watching social feeds of all sorts, an opportunity came up that has shown its face before. A change of direction for me, or at least an opportunity to apply for one.

This isn't to say that my driving ambition has passed, I'm still keen to qualify. But this other chance has always appealed to me. Steps things up a peg or two, gets be fresh challenges, and interests me.

Either way, its only a slim chance I'm even allowed to apply, let alone get an interview, pass and get the job. Time will tell.

Just wanted to tell y'all 🙂

Regards

Michael

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Been a while since I last frantically hammered the keys of my Blackberry on a train or platform to let all you spectators know what's going on with me, so here goes.

Last few weeks have been pretty lazy if I'm honest. With mums anniversary of passing, came a serious drop in interest in life in general. Letting things build up, dates to pass and bills to remain unpaid. I guess its just been a time of adjustment for me.

I have had 2 sittings on the tribute tattoo to mum now and its looking fantastic. Other than that I have done nothing, honest, NOTHING! Not even trained.

This week however the wind seems to be hitting my sails a little more and the energy is returning. Enthusiasm to get things sorted, positive thoughts towards all things outstanding, and determination to get back on track.

I am planning to start training again next week, which sadly coincides with the start of the next round of building works at home, but I can't let that be a distraction or excuse not to train.

Other things I need to do are ordering dog supplies, cancel my Virgin mobile account seeing as someone decided not to pay for it anymore, cheers for that! And other things like updating my Virgin media account.

Aaah so much to do but I'm in the right zone now, so here goes.

Thanks as ever to the people who have stuck around. To anyone who is a little down right now, fear not, it will get better, eventually.

Right time to get on a train, and enjoy thos glorious sun on the platform. Have a great day.

Regards

Michael

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You know the sort, we all have them. Nothing major and stressful, but just a day of minor hiccups that ultimately start to piss you off a little bit.

Well I'm having one today. Woke up and got up at my usual 'lazy' time as I have been recently. I think that might actually be a part of it, no structure. I shall come back to that. Walking the dogs, its threatened to rain. Email from the bank, I'm short for a bill, shirt I wanted to wear is dirty, dog not eating breakfast.... The list goes on.

Now I'm not going to stress about it, gawd no! I watched 24 hours in A&E last night and was reminded of what real anxiety and stress feels like. I don't wanna be back in that situation any time soon. Just watching someone panicking over nothing is enough to straighten me out a little. So, deep breath and all is well again in the land of Snaz!

But going back to structure, I think that's where I'm falling apart. I need the routine of P90X or Tai Chi back in my mornings, and that will start again next week. A week booked off work to allow for the adjustment, so I have a plan, no need to panic.

Other than that I have little to say. Olympics Part 1 went well, proud to be a Brit.

Just watching the Ecuador and Julian Assange story unfold, will we go into the embassy, will he flee.... So much going on.

OK weird looks on the train have started, so this is me signing out.

Have a good one people.

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Quick entry just to say this.

The past few weeks I have been drifting around in my mind, and getting by with things. Eating junk, lazy on activity, and really not interested in doing much.

Thing is, as I stand on the train this morning I can actually feel myself waking up, coming to my senses and wanting to get back in the groove. I knew this time would come naturally and was never going to force it, just didn't expect it to arrive quite like this.

Nothing has triggered it, its just waving and washing over me while I stand here. Positive thoughts, motivation, and determination all rushing back into my mind, and it feels fantastic. Just in time too.

The plan was to get back on track next week anyway, so this fits perfectly and gives me a few days to start making adjustments to my days to allow for it.

I'm sure I will pay the price for slacking off physically. But mentally it has been SO worth it.

So that ends my random entry. Other than to say, seeing my new tattoo started has something to do with all this for sure.

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Well todays marks one whole year since mum passed away, and today was all about reflection and moving on.

For me I have had today planned out for a long time. Not a day of sorrow or sadness, but a day of peace. Not in the traditional sense, but my mind has been at rest. A year on and no longer fretting and worrying. This year I am relaxed, can look back at all the good times, and remember the final journey I took with Ann Snasdell, my mother.

The biggest part of today was the starting of a tattoo. Between 12 and 3pm, the final hours of mums life. Marking them with a tribute to her that will last with me forever. Seems a bit strange I know, but a tattoo is what I know best, and was what she knew I did in honour of loved ones passed.

I have attached a picture of the work so far. It has a long way to go, but getting it started at the right time was key here.

For the rest of the day I have made sure I have kept good company, and had fun conversation. With Michelle and Steve at Innocent Needle Tattoo in Croydon, then Dean and Ian at Storm Bromley, its been a good day.

Deep within there has been constant thought of mum, and visiting St Christophers yesterday seemed very fitting for me too.

I won't drag this on, I am sure those that know me know what I am thinking and feeling right now. A year on, and time to move on. Never forgotten, but no longer an active part of my life.

Thank you again mum for all you did to raise me, and make me the man I am today. I hope when you left us, you left with a sense of pride that you were an amazing mum. Love you forever x

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Yet sometimes you can't help yourself. Especially when you have 95% of the facts. Knowing someone for a long time, from childhood, and seeing the way they turned out is sometimes a painful thing. I mean that in a nice way.

We all know someone who has done NOTHING with their life, through their own choices, they just fail to function, and are motivated to do absolutely nothing with their lives. No relationship, no career (or job for that matter), no direction. Just benefits beer and bed. How sad!

I am certainly not one to preach about a full and fun life, but I have had experiences, things to learn from, pass on and make me a 'better' person. Its not about wealth, its about fulfilling your goals and ambitions, making the most of each day, and being able to exchange stories with like minded people, and have different experiences to them.

When I was growing up, we had little money, few toys, and quite honestly nothing much to celebrate. But all that aside I had a great childhood really, some great friends who shared their toys and games, a loving mother who tried to give, and encouraged me to try and succeed, and a whole lot of energy. Compared to some in a similar situation I turned out alright really. Strong minded, determined and an individual.

Recently, as I walk around my local area, the area I grew up in, I see some of the people from my childhood and wonder what went wrong. Now I know my ideals are not theirs, but seriously, what sort of existence is it to spend half your life in the pub, to avoid work for 20+ years, and to really have nothing to show for the past two decades?

I am sure plenty of people look at me in the same light, and if that's the case, fair enough. I guess we can all only see down from our pedestals, so that makes it easier to 'judge'.

I don't know what else to say really, dunno where this is going. Other than to say its really sad to see these people, people that had all the same things as me, and decided to do nothing with it. I can't imagine having hardly ever worked in my life. To never have had a holiday, to not drive, no relationships etc, all because I just didn't have the interest to have a life.

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....and I'm not afraid to admit it.

First few sessions since re-starting are really taking their toll on me. However armed with previous knowledge I know not to push too hard. Pacing myself and making sure the impact levels are right, and splitting workouts where needed is the way to go.

This morning after the dog walks my legs were fatigued. So when I started yoga it was always going to be a bit of a battle. Instead of pretending to do the moves, and only giving 50%, I worked to the point where form was suffering, and stopped there. Once my legs have rested I will finish the routine this evening..... Before walking the dogs this time.

I know I push people hard, and to anyone in TeamSnaz who thinks I'm going soft, think again! But there is a point for anyone where training is pointless, and that is when form suffers. There is NO point in going through the motions if you cannot commit to it and dig deep to make those moves beautiful.

Missing a workout is not an option, but training wisely is, and that's what I am doing today. To anyone else training, who is struggling with the heat etc, drop the intensity if needed, stay hydrated and listen to your body NOT your mind. Your mind will want to quit a lot sooner than your body, trust me.

So today is a flaky day, but will end with perfect form, and beautiful yoga.

Dig in people, I know its hard, I know it hurts, and I know all too well that you will sweat like mad..... But its SO worth it. Trust me, I'm a doctor!

Happy workouts people.

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Well another nosey insight into what's going on at 6 Church Rise today. The hole gets deeper, the trucks keep coming, but there is still no sign of gold or Australia.

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Its amazing how one simple thing can push you over the edge isn't it. There you are plodding along, 'coping' then suddenly WHAM you are on your arse!
Coming back from holiday is never easy, especially when its been an epic trip. Getting back into the grind of things, and taking the reins once again can really suck at times, but this isn't about post holiday blues. Well not entirely anyway.
Getting away for a couple of weeks is the best thing that could have happened for me right now, and I have returned with a new sense of being for sure. Obviously however this trip doesn't make everything simply go away. So needless to say there are still some sharp edges to my life. If did however allow me to return fresh, and start over with regards to certain aspects of my life.

The past few days, if I'm honest, I have struggled a bit. A little down, a bit jet-lagged and motivation to exist  a little shaky to say the least. I have taken a week off from P90X to allow my sore shoulders to recover a bit, so that inactivity is not helping either. I am sure I will bounce back from that.

However in a few weeks time its the first anniversary of mums passing, and one I will be marking in a rather strange manner.... Starting a tattoo. This tied in perfectly with me catching up with an episode of 24HRS in A&E last night, in which a lady suffering from cancer was admitted to Kings with very similar symptoms to those mum had a few times. This really hit home, and allowed me to see the whole situation from the outside for the first time. many thoughts came to mind throughout. Very touching indeed.

So really, this is just a cry for attention and sympathy right now I guess, and a kick in the pants. Having been put in my place regarding another matter recently, suddenly I feel a little down about myself, and like I am getting things wrong all over again. I hope that's not the case, as its never my intention to cause offence to anyone. Well that's not true, but if I intend do, I always succeed!

Thanks for reading, I shall now remove myself from the floor, and stop whining.