Category: Uncategorized

Apparently I have lied about people, misrepresented them and cast dispersions upon their reputation.
Well if writing things you remember as fact is a lie, then I am one big fat liar!
If remembering things in a different way to others is a sin, then I am a sinner.


To be honest im pretty fucked off right now, but I think im hiding it quite well.


Other than that, I have nothing of interest to say.  

With the anniversary of mum's passing fast approaching, and having some time away from everything and everyone to reflect, my mind is free to flow.

Just laying by the pool listening to some choice music tracks, and my mind wanders off for a while. Allowing me to take in the true depth of what's going on, and how different I feel right now.

I can honestly say this is the most relaxed I have felt for so very long now. 3 years of trips away from home, constantly worrying that the call might come. Many years of going away, but still feeling the need to stay in touch with base camp to make sure all was ok.

This year is different, I am in my home from home with my family from family, and feeling so relaxed its unreal. Looking at house prices I can see myself getting my finger out soon in the drive to move away once and for all. Anything left going on at home this year is under control, and the stress levels are non existent.

Laying in the sun, soaking up everything going on around me, then comparing it to previous years, its really crazy. On the flight out here I commented that it was strange not giving mum a kiss on the forehead and telling her I will see her soon. Knowing that when I take pics and videos, I won't be showing them to mum and getting her reactions to them. No calls home, telling the temperature and getting the response 'oh that's just too hot' lol etc. It all amounts to on thing.

A momentary realisation that mum is actually gone.

It takes lots of different but normal things to happen to make it all seem real. And I think this was the final page on 'real things' that needed turning. Don't get me wrong, there is no upset etc, a little sadness (especially with the music playing) but nothing bad. Its a celebration for me. I know mum wanted us to feel free of any guilt, burden and responsibility, and now I feel I am doing as she wanted.

So that's my deep thoughts of the moment. I can go back to laying here, smiling and enjoying myself, and planning how the hell I make this place my home!

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I just wanted to get something off my chest.

When you make decisions in life, you are left to live with them. Whatever the outcome, good or bad, you made the choice, so it is for you to make it right.

However, along the way, in making the matter right we may lose out. Financially, socially or many other ways.

What is important is that we correct our mistake at our own cost, and not at the expense of the happiness and welfare of others.

Some people however are too fuckin selfish to realise that, and put a price on EVERYTHING, even happiness!

To you people..... You are arseholes!

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No idea why, but for some reason recently I have been waking up at about 5am daily, regardless of the time I go to bed, or how tired I have been. Usually I would lay there and just keep trying to sleep, but from years of experience I know this only results in waking up feeling like crap.

When you are awake, you are awake, can't fight it. Usually there would be a reason to wake up early, noise, stress, excitement, plans... But no, nothing at all recently. OK I like to be up early to train, that's certainly become a routine for me, and waking up at around 7am for that is just fine. So why my body has decided 5am is better I do not know.

Instantly the first concern for me is a weird one. What's going to happen when I fly to Florida? Is my body clock going to go completely bonkers? Worrying times, is jetlag going to have me all over the place when I return?

Maybe its all down to a healthier body and mind, and that I really don't need as much sleep as I have got used to over recent years. Don't get me wrong, if my body decides it wants me up at 5am daily, I can adapt to that no problem. Its just a bit sudden and unexpected. I wonder if my body has decided 'get up a couple of hours earlier, and you can do tai chi too' lol, now that would be good eh.

Either way I guess I am going to have to follow my bodys orders and do as I'm told, so I'm up, awake and ready for the day now. Guess I should do something like X-Stretch to get the day started huh.

Have a good day people.

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The clock is ticking down now to our departure for Florida 2012, cars booked, kennels sorted and loads more prep done. Just the smaller details to sort out now.

Meanwhile my clothing size continues to drop, so I will hold out buying my holiday clothes until the last minute. Training is going well, and I'm really looking forwards to spending some vanity time in the sun and the pool. I'm no adonis, but I feel great.

Meanwhile work is reaching the point of being a chore again, so much politics going on, and shit organisation its unreal. Along with people being work shy, and always blaming the next person. I'm no highly motivated worker, but I like to think I'm a team player. Shame there is no team to work with.

So what else is going on. Not much really, getting into summer mode now, adapting to my new lifestyle of getting up at 7am and getting stuck into training daily. Strained my back the other day, 2 days of no training was devastating for me. SO bored.

Other than that, life is pretty normal.

Oh how's this for restraint. I am due an upgrade on my phone but am NOT taking it. I knoooow! Crazy huh.

Right that's me for now, hope all are well.

If you use Twitter check out #TeamSnaz for my latest adventures.

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I love the fact that people from all walks of life and various countries read my blog. The feedback is appreciated both positive and negative.

HOWEVER....

If you a spineless little shit that wants to post threatening comments about matters you disagree with me on... You are NOT welcome.

This blog is in MY name, about MY life, and contains MY opinions. If you don't like them, feel free to say so, but do NOT feel you have the right to post any kind of threat or wish of harm to me, while hiding behind the name 'anon'.

Sorry to regular readers for putting up with this rant, but I am sickened and disturbed when complete strangers feel the need to make comments like this....

"Maybe Santa will bring you a hot bullet to the head, followed by an IPCC cover up for Christmas, seeing as you clearly don't know the value of life (or your own brain, for that matter)."

You are a threatening, childish, spineless fuckwit, so as I said in my reply... Fuck off and save the world. If you took the time to read other entries you would realise I put a very high value on life.... Or most peoples anyway.

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Ok so this period of 2 weeks towards the end of P90X Round1 is my transition period as I have previously said. And its a steep learning curve.

First up, without checking the scales I can honestly say I am NOT expecting any further losses. This phase has been all about nutrition and supplements, and they appear to be working. Bulking out and firming up. As well as building stamina in muscle groups.

If there is a loss, then great, but I don't expect it. We will find out the final weight next week at the end of the program, til then I'm focusing on the important things.

I have been experimenting with the time of day I work out recently, and today tried yoga first thing. After 20 mins to wake up and get moving I got stuck in. I can honestly say that this is NOT ideal for me at all lol. Damn it was hard work getting tired muscles involved. Needless to say, form suffered a little for it, and stretches were not as good as they could have been. As for the rest, well, the other workouts have been done varying before and after dog walks, and once again there is a noticeable difference to them also.

I want to add this too before I go. I am building my own little army of P90X'er Snaz's Soldiers 🙂 so wanted to say well done, keep going and dig deep ( and get a move on to those who have not yet got their fingers out.) So , Chantal, Carly, Clare, Amit, John, Matt and Chris.... Well done for even considering this program. Anyone else interested in getting going on P90X, just shout. I'm always here to offer what advice I can, some guidance and a whole bunch of motivation and arse kickin.

Come on Snaz's Soldiers!

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Don't ask me why, but todays thought is all about representation. I got wondering about all things great, then ended up with this thought.
Be it you avatar of life, a signature image or something to sum you up in one single image or object, what would you choose to represent you. And more to the point, what would others use to remember you by.

We are surrounded by corporate logos. Seeing a simple outline can plant a thought or desire in our minds in a flash. Be it a curvy M in yellow, or the red and blue ying-yang of Pepsi, we are all led by these images. So why I thought, are we not the same with personal associations. I suppose in a way we are, seeing something from our past can trigger memories of a person, but not everyone.

I am putting the question out there for 2 reasons, I'm curious how people see themselves, and want a good way to put more of you in my mind. I like those trigger moments that remind me of friends and good times. Maybe I am a slightly deeper thinker than some. Maybe this entry makes no sense to you. However others I'm sure will be thinking hard about their own image.

I have been doing a lot of thinking recently about symbolic representation, and for sure my tattoos are proof enough of my commitment to all things symbolic. With the anniversary of mum passing approaching I am in the middle of planning my next image to remind me. For mum it is her lily. Having it in the pond for many years with no luck in it blooming, she didn't give up. And on time, as her own health declined finally it burst into life. A beautiful bloom, and one that made her proud. Such was her pride and passion in her creation, it is only fitting that it be the centre piece for my tribute tattoo.

For me, well I have included an image on mine too. A simple 'i' . The universal sign for information. The point you can trust to turn to when you need info or advice. I am no oracle, but I do know that a large group of people seem to turn to me when the chips are down, or just to blow off steam. Sometimes inspiration, other times just a second opinion, my 'i' is illuminated 24 hours a day, and always willing to have a say. Right or wrong, I will always speak my mind as clearly and honestly as I can.

There are many images throughout our lives that signifies something about us. But what is YOUR defining image?

We have all done it I'm sure, seen or heard something and made a snap judgement on it. Be it personal or something not close to us at all, we make judgements everyday. Some are right, some a little misguided, and every now and then we miss the point by a country mile.

Before I go on I want to say two things about this entry. Firstly, just thinking about the situation and needing to write this is making me shake. With upset and a snippet of anger at the thought of even having to set the record straight. And secondly, I don't do empty or unnecessary apologies, which is why this isn't one.

Its almost 2 years ago now that I lost a very old a dear friend in a motorcycle accident. One of a few friends who have perished this way. I grew up with John and his sister Dawn from a very young age, and after some years apart fate brought us all back together again, and we stayed in touch ever since. Losing John was a wow moment for me, hitting nerves that no other loss had ever thrown up for me, and it is a loss that affected me and has remained with me. I carry a symbol of my love for my fallen brother with me daily, and he is still the key to many a story told.

So why do I mention this now? Well simply because of a mish mash of circumstances that led to an unfortunate and unnecessary situation.

A few days ago there was a big accident on the A2, a few miles from the Blackwall Tunnel where John lost his life. This too was a motorcycle accident. It has become a habit for me to share any serious local traffic situations with my friends on Facebook, as I do it as part of my job anyway, and like to make sure people don't get caught up in it.
Comments were posted on it, and some mentioned delays getting home etc, I'm sure we have all done that at some point.

My sister also posted a comment suggesting it sounded serious as it was closed for a long time. My simple reply to this was "bike, high speed road....... enough said".... To the un suspicious eye it would read just as it says... Fast road, fast moving traffic, higher chance of serious injury or fatality.
However, to some it read that I was suggesting that because it was a bike, and a fast road, that clearly the biker was to blame. Not quite sure how you twist it to get that. But some how it happened.

Comments were made, suggestions and accusations touted, and blame thoroughly cast upon me. I did try to make my point that I was just commenting on the dynamics of the situation, but apparently after knowing someone for 23 years, I'm not as transparent as I thought I was. 2 girls I have known for such a long time now, and been through thick and thin with now feel that I disrespected John by saying what I said, and am now just trying to make amends for my wrong doing.

Well I can only say this much. Anita, Nicola, I love you both like sisters, and have been honoured with the trust you both once installed in me. Sharing your darkest emotions with me, and trusting me with your thoughts. The only thing I can use the word sorry for is to describe how I feel about losing that trust, and how I feel about your decisions to just make such a snap judgement and cut me off. These are your decisions and ones I respect either way.

In the meantime, thank you to those who do truly know and trust me, and to those who know that I love John with all my heart, always have and always will. No matter the daft things he did, he was taken from us all, most of all his sons WAY too soon, and its is a tragedy that we all live with daily.

I have said my peace, and hope one day you understand that I have nothing but respect for John. And having lost 3 close friends in under 3 years to motorcycle accidents of all kinds, I am one of the last people who will ever just tar all with the same brush and immediately cast blame and doubt on one party.

And finally to John, I'm so sorry to have used your name in such an entry, for what seems quite petty. I would never wish to cause you harm or disrespect. X

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My my, it seems my little adventure with P90X has really started to have a knock on effect. With a number of friends joining the program, and 4 of them starting to follow the course from Monday coming, may I first say, good on you, and best of luck sticking to it. I am right here every step of the way should you need anything.

Today I got to start using my resistance bands, and OMG what a difference they make. Crazy to feel so much energy going into moving such thin seemingly weak bands. But they work, are much smoother to use in some movements than free weights. However there are of course times when there is nothing better than really pushing a muscle to the limit the old fashioned way. Yes yes, of course I mean bicep curls, Cohen curls, and triceps of course. Nothing like a little vanity is there?

Anyway, I digress. P90X is where its at, and motivating and inspiring others to use it to take care of themselves is the mission I'm on right now. Between Jaces Warriors, and Twitter, the interest seems to grow daily. Add Facebook to that list and the interest gets even bigger.

I want to make sure I am clear about something, before the ridicule starts. P90X is a program, a guide, and something to push you in the right direction. The big notice before you enter is "WILLPOWER REQUIRED". There is no magic involved, no voodoo as Ivan likes to call it, and no miracles. Its like making a cake. You are the ingredients, all the instructions are there, and the equipment is there.... All you have to do is follow the instructions properly, and the outcome will be a lovely cake.
Probably a bad example, as I could murder a cake right now lol, but you catch my flow I'm sure.

So if you are one of the people I have mentioned, or are reading this and wondering if P90X is right for you. Ask yourself this, are YOU right for P90X?

Tell you what. Here are a few FAQ's.

Q. Are the workouts hard?
A. Yes, quite simply. Effort is required, but unlike a lot of programs, you can slide the difficulty slider up as you progress. Start gentle and modified, and as you improve, increase the intensity.

Q. Is it hard to commit to?
A. No. If you start the program hungry for results, then your hunger will be satisfied for sure. Results come fast, and continuous, and re-motivate you. Want it bad enough, and commitment will come easy.

Q. Will I get all big and bulky.
A. P90X can be used to lose weight, tone, or build lean muscle. Adapting your activity throughout the 90 days. Higher reps, lower weights to tone, and digging deeper and going heavier for bulk. Diet will also be key.

Q. Is this guy taking it too far and getting obsessed about P90X?
A. Ok, maybe a touch, but its a healthy one, and that's not a pun. I have been on the program for 10 weeks now, and each week my energy level rises, my activity level goes further off the chart, and my motivation to continue grows.

Right, so that's me. If you are inspired, interested or about to get onto the program and have any questions, fire away 🙂

Next week I start week 11, another week closer to the end of week 13 and the end of cycle 1 of P90X. But it doesn't end there, oh no. After a few days off (maybe) I'm gonna start all over again. I'm addicted, I'm motivated, and I'm driven to achieve what I have never had before. Fitness, state of mind, and physical youth.

Come on, why are you still reading this, its time to live a little, its time to love the life you have..... Bring It people!

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