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No matter what you think or do, you are never going to get it right. Even deciding which side of the bed to get out of this morning was probably the wrong choice. You know what I mean right? From first light today things have gone wrong, and not in simple to put right ways. I mean in ways that are simple from the outside, but once you get into them, they just become complex and messy.

Imagine you pull your headphones from your pocket, a few little loops in there you think, straight in 10 seconds.... 5 mins later you are standing there frustrated, pissed off and in a worse mess than you were to start with.
THAT'S the sort of day I'm talking about.
Your intentions are pure, your motivation is to do the right thing, but for some reason, before the day is out its all going to be one big bloody mess, with you rocking back and forth on the sidelines wishing you had just not bothered at all. Regardless of what part of your life you offer this comparison up to, there is always going to be an example of it. Fixing a car, decorating, relationships, there is always a time when you will screw things up without even trying.
For me today I have managed to lose focus and direction, spinning out of control mentally, travelling down roads I had sworn I would leave well alone. The knock on effect of this is a bit of a pain, messing with my focus, and breaking my concentration on other more important aspects of my life.
I should say at this point that I have done a lot of soul searching over recent days and weeks and have decided that I can be a little selfish and dramatic at times, and really do blow things out of proportion. OK so this isn't life and death, its not the end of the world. Nor will I become homeless or hungry any time soon. So on the grand scheme of things, its REALLY not so bad, and that's what I keep telling myself. But for some stupid and maybe selfish reason, my mind just refuses to let go of certain things, and insists on bring them back to the front of my mind at the most inopportune times. Like now !
I wont go into details on here, there is really no point, you have all heard it a million times now. But I will say that I really need to learn to check with my brain before engaging in certain activities. I have had a lot of support over these matters over recent times, and as ever you all deserve a massive thank you for your time and efforts invested in my sanity. I have also realised how numbing my depression medication was. Being able to switch off a train of thought was a great trick, but in the long run I guess I need to face my demons to be able to overcome them.
Unfortunately the list seems to keep growing recently, although on closer inspection its probably a few root problems which conspire against me to cause all sorts of messed up issues for me. Weight control, financial control, and responsibility seem to be my greatest downfalls. Even they could probably be condensed down a little, as better spending would not allow to overspend on food, and would therefore eliminate that too. OK so its just down to money and responsibility I guess. Sounds about right, the two greatest downfalls of man as a whole.
Money, I am terrible with, want want want, but never WANT to pay bills or get myself straight. Always focusing on somewhere further down the line in my fantasy life where money is all sorted. That said, if I achieve my goal in Feb, I will not only tackle money, but also responsibility. Which is probably why the next few weeks are so important to me. It could change so much for me, but with the stresses of life once again building up at my door, I risk it all.
As for responsibility, well that is a long story. Responsibility for my own daughter seems to have evaded me for many years, instead passing the buck to another, and being very lucky that she ended up in such good hands. I guess that's one of the things eating away at me at the mo. I have covered it all before, missed opportunities, mistakes I might have made along the way, but recent events, and anniversaries bring it all back to haunt me, leaving my brain filled with negativity and other messed up thoughts.
Sudden reminders that I am no longer the man I once was, and gentle hints given along the way that somewhere I need to make changes. No regrets, that's all the past, there is no point looking back and wondering what if.. But seeing the road ahead and knowing what it could be if I make the effort, pushes me to assess myself. and make adjustments. I want change, I want chances, I want opportunities to help others as well as myself, and most of all I want to make a difference. Somewhere in someones life, I want to be the cause, the catalyst, the reason for something good happening or changing to them. Remembered for something worthwhile, and not just as an existence and a blurred memory.
Hey I'm no Einstein, nor peoples hero, but nor am I afflicted or blighted with misfortune and pain. I have the chance to make a difference in peoples lives, while at the same time making a good life for myself... And THAT is what I want.
So away with the sorrow, goodbye to the doubt. I need to put insecurities behind me, and walk tall and proud forwards. Into the coming month, filled with ambition and drive.
Amazing how a mood can change just through writing a few (ok quite a lot of) words. This is why I love my blog. I don't know if people will read it, I don't know if people even care, but just through telling someone, and sounding my thoughts out, suddenly it all makes sense again.

But that's no reason to roll and just give up now is it? Instead I am taking the previous negativity I have faced and turning it into motivation. A challenge if you will.

It seems each step I take in what I consider the right direction, I am swept back again, like walking on an opposite running escalator. I could just stand still and go where it takes me, but I have goals I want to achieve. Whatever life throws at me, I am determined not to give up, not to change my plans, and not to lose.

I have a test I really want to pass next month, smack bang in the middle of a challenging month, however there is no reason I can't do it. As usual my body is protesting about life progressing, and trying to immobilise me, in this case by straining my Planta Fascia. Stopping me dead in my tracks quite literally. But on this occasion I have refused to let it stop anything, determined to stay walking until I decide I want to rest. The new me if you will.

Throw a spanner in the works for me, and I will use that spanner to fix something else along the way once I have freed it from the inner workings of my life. Push me to the ground to stop me, and I shall stay on all fours to gain momentum and traction on my journey again. I refuse.... I REFUSE to be trodden down any more.

I can do better than I am doing right now, and I have faith and belief in myself.

OK this is turning into another self motivational entry isn't it. Well let me stop that right there.

I am a single example of how someone can achieve if they put their mind to something, and want badly to be YOUR motivation to achieve your goals in life. I have already overcome a lot of challenges in life, with the support and encouragement of my friends. However the journey doesn't stop there. Onwards and upwards.

We can do this, achieving our goals, be it losing weight, making a clean break or standing up and facing diversity. 2012 is just a number to me, but let the record show that this was the milemarker in my life where I stopped taking shit and rolling over, and instead made a difference.

I'm off to hobble on my painful foot now, to get to work to pay the bills, and stay stable while I plan my next move. Make your day a good one, and remember to do something that makes a difference to someone, today and everyday.

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No stupid, not an infection or anything like that. I have worked out the reason of why I'm feeling the way I am. All I have done for days now is slept. I am not unhappy, not miserable or depressed, but whenever I'm on my own I just........ sleep!

It has just occurred to me this is the first extended period I have been on my own since mum passed. Its not that its Xmas, I'm sure of that. Just time to reflect for the first time in a long time, and there is a lot to reflect on.

I don't think its a bad thing, but having just woken from a type of dream I have not had for months, the signs are clear and obvious. I chose to spend most of Xmas alone, as I usually do anyway, maybe it was a subconscious decision to invoke this?

Really I would love to have spent a bit more time catching up with people I have not seen for a while, up and down the country and faces and embraces I miss dearly, but circumstances just have not allowed for it. Maybe I will make an effort over the coming week.

I just seem to have run out of steam right now, the ideas are there, but the motivation lacks, seriously. Decorating the house has come to an abrupt halt, even though I have the materials to do what I need to do.

Right now I need a kick up the bum, and a big one at that. So much lays ahead of me in the coming months, and again maybe that is something that is weighing on my mind, I'm not sure, but I need to get ready to deal with these things as they all start to arrive.

Right, time for some music on my new headphones, A-Jays 3's you know lol, and then try and get off my arse. Maybe a long walk?

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OK so as this letter says, this is my first involvement in this debt, until now my sister has been good enough to deal with mums affairs.

However... Right at this very second I am angry and offended by the language used in the letter. Yes I have agreed a payment plan, but never was a date discussed. And yes a sum is outstanding, but this is Day 1 for me, so mention of debt collection agencies etc in their first written contact with me is somewhat OTT.

I know it is a letter to my sister which I am cc'ed in on, but maybe as first contact they could have gone to the effort of writing to me separately, maybe even emailing me to first check a suitable payment date.

I am sure most will think I'm over reacting, but this has been a farce from Day 1 with this funeral director, with misinformation, and a number of other issues which I won't go into right now.

Friendly family run business..... Hmmmm

Time to blog that is. It has once again been a while since I managed to write anything meaningful, so as the dust settles, quite literally, I thought I would take a few mins out.

Currently sitting at the kitchen table watching the timer on the cooker counting down, coming closer to the moment my dinner is ready. Exciting or what. However in this case it is. I have undertaken a challenge (my own) to do something about the weight I have been gaining recently, and am in the first week of taking direct action.

Setting myself a target of around 1000 calories a day, and making sure I return to my original physical routines of walking the dogs etc, I am hoping to make some headway into the excess I am carrying. In the first few days as the body adjusts, losses are inevitable, but maintaining the routine and the loss is key. So I am having cereal in the mornings, fruit and snacks in the afternoon, and finishing up with a high protein dinner. Occasionally some fruit or cereal a little later if still actually hungry.

My starting point was 247lb, and the first goal is to drop that below 240, anything with 23* will signal the arrival at the first goal. Over all weight as a number isn't the objective, waist size and physical fitness is the true goal here and one I am dead set on.

In other news, major refurbishment of the house is under way, with the lounge being stripped and plastered this week. New roof going on, and some serious decorating to be done over the coming weeks that's for sure. Some great ideas in my head, now to turn them in to reality, that's the hard part.

Other than that, the main story has to be I'm DRUG FREE, over 3 weeks now, and about the only side effect as such is my lack of concentration, and memory loss from time to time, on a very small and short term scale. I'm forgetful, nothing more lol.

Hmmm what else was I going to say.....

Not a lot really at this point, other than to say you can follow my diet progress on Twitter. @therealslimsnaz . I was going to blog it all again but with my train of thought like it is, I thought best to keep the character count down.

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Well it has been hasn't it! I haven't looked at the date of the last one, but I know its been a while now.

So what's changed. Well I am 2 weeks clean from anti depressants, and feeling my normal self again. I have put weight on and know I need to sort myself out before it gets out of control again. The clothes are already starting to take the strain.

I have also just spoken to my aunt after not seeing her for a good few weeks now. He status is a bit up in the air at the mo, so I will have to make some more calls to find out what's really going on. She has requested no visitors til after Xmas now, and has a hospital appointment this afternoon as a follow up from one last week. So I'm not quite sure what's going on there. A call to Chris is needed.

So what's ahead for me. Well Xmas is around the corner, but I won't be doing much about that to be honest. Got work going on in and on the house at the moment, so the place is a bloody mess. Hallway in the middle of decorating, bathroom being torn apart, new roof being fitted, so the driveway is a mess. Oh its a great dusty place to be *sniff sniff.

My plan, get away from it all for a bit, get some fresh air on the day and enjoy it with myself. While trying to resist the temptations of fatty foods over the festive period.

To be honest, the whole weight thing is the important part to me right now, so I really wanna take the bull by the horns and get back under control and feeling healthier again. My poor Specialized Hardrock Pro really needs a good workout, so come Jan I want to be back on that again, and into a routine with the dogs, getting out twice a day.

Aaaah this looks rubbish, so I will try blogging again later.

Peace!

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At 38 years old I have experienced the deaths of quite a number of people now, some might say maybe a few too many in fact. From all walks of life, in different circumstances. I am not one to be affected by grief as such, but would be ignorant to say someone's death does not bother me in any way.
The role of honour gets longer by the day, but for the record here are a few, just to give an idea of what my mind has dealt with.

Adam King - Road accident (pedestrian)
John Littlebury - Traffic incident (motorcyclist)
Kevin Flanders - Traffic incident (motorcyclist)
John Weston - Traffic incident (motorcyclist)
Mary Lunt - Short illness, cancer
Graeme Breen - Long term illness, inc cancer
Ann Snasdell (mum) - Long term cancer
Tas Hossain - Brain tumour

That's a snippet of it all, but gives you the right idea, its not like I have never known anyone who has died. And this point is important for what's coming now.

In all the deaths I have dealt with, I have never been in a situation where someone was snatched from my grasps within seconds. I was there the day mum passed, in fact for the moment she passed. I had spoken to Graeme and John days before they both died etc, but it has never seemed instantaneous to me.

What provoked this thought is the shooting of two people in SE22 today, quite local to me. Ok they are not the first people to have been shot locally, let alone nationally. I didn't know them, nor would want to I don't think based on their apparent gang affiliations, however the way they went made me think. Put the affiliations aside and you are left with an individual surrounded by friends and loved ones. In a split second they are pierced by a shard of metal which instantly takes them away from everyone around them. Like a light switch, turned of, lights out, life extinguished, gone forever.

This is not about me mourning the loss of this individual, but more about my curiosity about how you cope with such a thing. Within 5 seconds you can go from talking to someone like there is nothing wrong, to cradling their lifeless body in your arms, helplessly.

Yes I have dealt with death, and it is not pleasant to watch your own mother take her last breath, then depart. But knowing she was ill, knowing she was weak payed a major role in dealing with this. Losing a friend in an accident I was not present at again doesn't compare. How can it, I heard the news much later and dealt with it the only way you can.

I think the combinations of surprise, presence, and helplessness makes losing someone you love in the blink of an eye, the most unbearable way to lose a loved one possible. From murder to sudden medical issue, from road accident to accident at home, each is as traumatic as the next, and as I sit on the train, surrounded by strangers I am left wondering how many people on this train know what that feeling is like.

The closest I have ever witnessed was a motorcycle accident on Chelsea Bridge where a man was killed in an instant. A complete stranger to me, however the shock of it and the sudden way it occurred probably affected me more than any other death I have knowledge of. To watch a perfectly healthy person transition from life to death in a heartbeat is astounding, shocking and down right upsetting without a doubt. Trying to make the subsequent 999 call was proof enough that it has affected me.

So to go back to the funeral today, as its the most current example, I can't imagine what it was like to have someone's life extinguished before your very eyes. Remembering that they were at an event to say farewell to another fallen loved one. Factor out the gang and the behaviour, and remember for a moment that parents, relatives and other friends would have been present.

I hope that for each person I lose along my journey in life, that no one I love is lost in such a cruel way. I wish never to be present at a loss like this. And I also hope that I will not pass in such a way either. In fact I'm sure we all think that way.

Life is a gift, death is a certainty. Dignity throughout is something we all wish for, and happiness for our loved ones is a must.

My thoughts go out to anyone who loses a loved one from their company in a second like this.

Phew.... I need chocolate!

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The more time you spend mixing in the public domain, the more opportunity you have to participate in the lives of others. Being a player. If you commute you probably spend a lot of time around people you see everyday. You may not interact with them much, if at all, but given half a chance would you offer a hand, intervene or step in?

I know its a weird question for some, the thought of becoming involved in something that is originally nothing to do with you may seem totally alien. However to others, like myself its a part of everyday life. It might not be life critical, it might not change the world, but even helping someone with their buggy up some stairs, giving directions, or just checking someone is ok, is truly playing a part in life.

To me there are 3 types of people in this world, pawns, observers and players. Call them what you like. But this is my breakdown.
A pawn is a person who lives a simple life, head down, gets on, never gets involved and aims to do as they are told. An observer is someone who is more active in life, aware of their surroundings, adapts to what's going on, but still keeps themselves very much to them self. Then there are players. Fully involved in life, willing to step in if they can help, always aware of what's happening around them, and never shying away from the opportunity to make an impact on someone else.

Regardless of morals or intentions, no matter what drives you in life. In general you will slot onto one of the above categories.

When I look back and reflect on past experiences in life it is easier to see how the groups operate, allow me to offer an example.
A few years back I saw a rather crazy or deranged looking man walking down the main road with 2 axes in his hands, merrily chopping away at lampposts etc. Clearly realising he was a danger to the public I immediately called 999 and kept him in my sight while guiding the police in to my location. However.... As I talked to the police on the phone I realised 80% of the people on the street were oblivious to his behaviour, too consumed by their own lives. These Pawns left themselves vulnerable to all sorts of dangers by being unaware of what was going on outside their bubbles.
On previous occasions when a major incident is occurring, the police operator will advise you they have received a number of calls, and being on the scene of such an incident you will usually see others on their phones, observing and reporting... But on this day, nothing. Suggesting the other 20% were observers. Aware enough to avoid the matter, possibly able to tell the story to people at work (as one of my colleagues was) but playing no part in the matter, no 999 call, no warning of people around, just being aware of what was going on outside the bubble, to avoid it bursting.

Maybe such an event is a little too extreme to use as an example, let me dumb it down a bit.

OK, a recent redevelopment of a road near me has caused concerns about how to cross it. I know, we all learned to cross a road as children, but for the less aware amongst us, crossing the road is seen as a right, and not something that takes care and consideration. So this road, its only 2 cars wide, give or take a couple of feet, but apparently still a challenge to cross for some grown adults.
The arguments posed by our 3 groups are simple, a pedestrian crossing should be installed to allow commuters to cross safely, a zebra crossing should be installed to allow safe crossing, or people should just be more aware of their surroundings and learn to cross a bloody road properly.
OK this isn't a similar example of our 3 groups, but its another angle on how the mindsets of people work. Those wanting a pedestrian crossing want to hand over total responsibility of who says its safe to cross. Our pawns want a little green man to tell them the decision has been made for them, cross without thinking outside the bubble at all.
Our observers however, a little more savvy, and confident of things outside the bubble, wanting some control over their decision, but ultimately still looking for something to stop the bubble being damaged. Then there are the players. Capable of interacting with the world around them, able to make an informed decision and not requiring something physical to give them the reassurance that it will all be ok.
On a side note, and as a secondary observation, put all three groups on an open road or zebra crossing and only 2 groups would be able to assist or consider assisting someone else across the road. Elderly, carrying an object etc. The pawns would be blissfully unaware that there was even anyone else there.
Needless to say, in this instance the majority want some form of crossing to use for this tiny yet terrifying piece of road, with only a small minority able to comprehend that it is not practical to have a crossing on such a small piece of road.

I have many more example of how the 3 groups behave. In an emergency situation, after a car accident maybe. Pawns won't notice what has happened, however may feel their way is being blocked so become irate and sound their horn. Observers will be aware of what's happening, maybe advise others, almost certainly complain to friends, maybe even take pictures. But it is only the player who will become involved and check for injuries, make calls, and try and help.

What I am trying to get at here is we need to break out from our bubbles once in a while and become involved. In countries stricken by disaster 99% of the population instantly become players, seeing to their own needs and the needs of others. Karma, give and take, call it what you want, but one good turn deserves another, and usually someone involved will receive as much as they give, in thanks or out of respect. But instead all we do in the UK is expect, demand and assume we are entitled. Rather than earning and working for things society teaches us that the less we do, the more we deserve. The social scrounging epidemic is just one example of that. We don't have to be involved in life, we don't have to participate or do a single thing, raise a hand to help another person, in fact nothing at all. And in return we will receive a place to live, beer money, bus passes and all sorts of other concessions.

Its time to stop being a pawn, and at least step up to willing observer status. Stop standing and staring when you see someone struggling, don't just watch on as a man struggles to get their broken down car off the junction, don't assume someone else will make the 999 call for the suspicious person you saw, or the smoke you can see coming from the window. Play a part, stand up and be counted, and feel that you belong, and made a difference.

I have spent years getting involved, from fires in woodlands, to serious road accidents, weirdo's with axes, to concern for wellbeing. Its empowering, it gives you a sense of being, has no real recourse, and makes a difference to someone elses life. One day you will hope someone is there for you, looking our for you, or willing to help you.... So be that person for someone else today.

Take a moment to think which of the three you are, a pawn, an observer or a player...... At the end of the day I'm not judging anyone, you are what you are, its for you to decide if you could me more.....

Yours sincerely

Michael Snasdell
Player of Life

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I don't know how I keep finding myself like this, but over and over I find myself heading south. Its almost like havings downs and up's in life, rather than up's and downs. When I bounce back it seems I bounce down not up. Do I live some weird anti gravity life?

I have to be totally honest and say its doing my freakin head in here. All I want is a decent period of time on the up for once.

Right now I'm over weight, owe money, unhealthy, lazy and under motivated. So much needs sorting out, but all I can think about and do is eat, sleep and drag my arse into work. Its pathetic! I know I CAN get out of this, but its a matter of doing it, and finding a way to stay away from the edge for a while.

Today I have made a start, trying to be positive. Bit of tidying up, got up earlier, made a couple of long overdue phonecalls, and taken some photos to report some repairs on the house. Baby steps I call it, others might call it a half hearted attempt. Tomorrow I will try and get back in the morning dog walk routine. With the fireworks season underway they won't get evening walks for a while now. There are so many more steps, so hopefully my strides will increase in size, and I will pick up speed.

The next hurdle which I need some speed to tackle is the weight issue. I would not call myself a yo-yo weight loser, more a bungee... Goes quickly, stays off a long time then springs back on gently but continuously lol. Either way it needs sorting.

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Thats all I have to say about how I feel right now, about a multitude of things.
Health, feeling crap, sore throat, no voice, sniffles, cough and still no proper answer from my doctor's about my stomach pain. The receptionist tried to read the results from the scan today but said it was better a GP spoke to me about it as there were words she didnt understand on there. So a call back request has been placed. This will take place in 1-3 days time! Til then, its stomach discomfort as usual for me.

Then there is the Occupy London rubbish. Dedicated to their cause, willing to illegally occupy areas of London they are not permitted or wanted on. Happy to close St Paul's Cathedral for however long it takes... Oh but wait a minute....

"A police helicopter's thermal imaging camera showed the tent encampment was almost entirely empty overnight.
This has led to accusations that the 300-strong group of protesters are part-timers, going home to warm beds in the evenings to sleep.
The protesters are aware of the vacancies and allocate empty tents to newcomers.
Corporation of London councillor Matthew Richardson said: "It is incredible. The overnight monitoring of the site by the police showed that 90% of the tents are unoccupied.
"It just shows most of the demonstrators don't have the courage of their convictions and are just here to make trouble."

Source http://news.sky.com/home/uk-news/article/16095687

So in reality, as quoted above, they are exactly what I said a week ago, pathetic !

Right now I am just on a proper low, feeling like crap, worrying about the wrong things, and just sick and tired of feeling like this. Not depressed or anything, but just no motivation to be doing anything positive. I just want my health back once and for all, and no more of these outbreaks of ulcers, sore throats, etc.

Moan over for now. Was going to write more, but in the general mood of things, I cant be bothered.