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It always feels good when something goes to plan, and in this case it feels good physically and mentally.

In Dec I decided I would diet, and for a couple of weeks I followed a sensible routine. But as xmas moved in, the willpower and interest moved out. Needless to say a binge ensued, and I think I probably ended up worse off that I started.

Anyway, a few weeks back I got my game face back on, and have gone for it. Now call me smart or stupid but I didn't have a starting point weigh in. But as the clothes start to loosen, and the physical condition improves I decided on a weigh in, and today was the day.

Again, maybe a bad idea it being a monday as I ate a little more than normal over the weekend, however I have done the weigh in now, and we are currently at 232.2lbs. Which for me is a little more that I hoped for, I was hoping for 22*.* That 2 instead of a 3 is a great motivator. But its really not far away now, and I guess it gives me another kick up the pants.

So the week ahead, I will hit that elusive 229.9 and below mark. And then after that, I can chase some lower numbers. However once into the high 220's I am going to change the diet up a bit.

At the moment my intake is dry cereal in the morning, lots of fluids during the day, dry cereal in the evening after work. And then a couple of SlimFast snacks a bit later on. Saturdays is binge day where up until last week I would have Nando's. But this weekend I went for a chicken kebab. Instantly feeling like crap after eating it, it sat badly with me all weekend. So I will be glad when that's all out of me.

Next week if I weigh-in again I think I will leave it til Tuesday 🙂

Right, enough drivvle from me. Have a good day.

PS updates on my diet on Twitter @therealslimsnaz

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Is another mans amusement, especially when its based on something so empty and futile.

A little altercation at work today with a co-worker really did put my new found patience and focus to the test, and by golly I think I did pretty well. While there are no winners and losers in such a situation, there are always lessons to be learned, and todays lesson was clear.

I am clearly capable of keeping a clear head while those around me are losing theirs.

Which is fantastic news for me on so many levels. This is the test I have been waiting for for weeks if not months now. I can use this confidence in a number of other up and coming situations for me, including my impending test. Focus is where its at, and I have refound mine.

The outcome of the situation, a very frustrated co-worker, a number of startled and astonished co-workers, and a feeling of satisfaction. At both the ending to the situation, and also in my ability to stay cool.

Well done me, even if I do say so myself.

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Heard it all before, yeah yeah ok, riiiiight... I can hear all the sighs and groans now, but this time I mean it, honest. If I'm being honest I guess I should say I am 2 days in already, and all is going fine. A couple of bowls of cereal is all that has passed my lips for the past few days, and if I'm honest I feel fine for it.

Sure there are some familiar things happening, headache and peeing lots, but they are all expected. The plan I'm following is a VLCD or Ketosis based plan, with supplemental food packs supplied by Protikee. I have used them before, and they are amazing for rapid weight loss. With the ongoing issues with my foot, taking some of the load off it will help no end.

To show I am still planning and following my plan, I already have some food planned for tomorrow night. Noooo! Don't start groaning again, this will be chicken aka pure protein, so won't be an impact on the diet itself.

Long term, I want to stick to this for 4-6 weeks at least, with only occasional foods just to keep the body ticking over. Hopefully at the end of it clothing will be a little more comfortable, the idea of sitting in an airline seat in the summer for 9 hours won't seem so daunting, and best of all some self confidence will return.

With January coming to an end my busy month is just around the corner, so all hell is about to break lose. Hopefully by the end of Feb with birthdays, weddings and tests all out of the way, I will be on a far more solid footing, and heading in a positive direction. Not wishing Feb over with, but I am hoping that I will come out of Feb on the path that I have in sight.

Right, that's me for now, Day 3 ahead.

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Have you ever noticed that depending on what we are told (fed) by the media, and what circle of life someone comes from, determines how we 'judge' people. An example popped into my mind only this morning.  We judge bankers and their pay / bonuses based on what the media have told us they are all about. Surely no one should earn this kind of money, no one deserves such financial remuneration for ANY job they do surely.

However at times like this we seem to completely overlook sports. With some sports personalities taking tens, if not hundreds of thousands of pounds home a month. What in gods name justifies that? Its a sport, surely if they love the sport, they would do it for a tenth of what they earn. But no, we constantly hear of multi million pound transfer deals. All the while there are some of these people who are apparently worth millions that dont even perform.

I guess what I am getting at is, there are good and bad examples of people earning a shocking amount of money annually, and its all about how we perceive them. Negative press gets the mind thinking, then any example put before us is tarnished with the story we heard, and all persons associated with this activity is tarred with the same brush and judged as not worthy of their money.

'The root of all evil' is still to date the best description of money, with religion tying for first place. Put the two together and suddenly there is a disaster on the horizon. We would all love more money, seemingly even the wealthy would go a long way to make a little bit more of the stuff. Tax evasion, dodgy investments, and selling their soul and privacy, just for a bit more money. While others scrimp and save just to get a break from the daily grind.

While us normal people carry on our day to day lives, there is a whole other league of people who live very different lives. And if you look closely you will notice that money indeed cannot buy happiness. Depression, addiction, and violence. Regardless of how much money you have, you can and in fact are probably more likely to be affected by the above. With money comes attention, and with attention comes expectations. once again led by the media, we are bombarded daily with stories about affairs, diets, drunken behaviour and other boring facts about people in the media spotlight. Once the spotlight is on you, you are expected to conform, and live up to the persona that has been created for you. Subsequently these people go to extraordinary lengths to please, and as they are lifted higher and higher in the air by the media, only one thing can possibly be coming next.

Except for a very small group of A-Listers, anyone who takes this journey will eventually take a fall, and usually a big one. Once they do this, daring to do something that normal people do every day, they are portrayed as bad people and scum, and 90% of the people who once whooped and cheered when they saw the said celebs, will now boo and hiss. Again, we do this because we conform in some way to an unwritten rule that says we should behave the way the media tells us to. Very few people ever bother to clarify a story, we just read a headline, and respond in the way that the story was written dictates we do.

I for one sure am glad that I am not famous, wealthy or influential in any way. A little more money would not go amiss, being able to settle up some bills and accounts would be nice. But my life is driven to survive and exist. To better myself and experience things before I reach my expiry date. I don't have to conform to any particular way of life, and have many choices of direction. OK I have to abide by the laws of the land, but other than that, and any physical constraints im a free man to live the way I choose. Something a lot of people will never experience. Money is one thing, freedom is a totally different thing.

One of the amazing positive things the media have done over the 12 months is reported, inspired and assisted the Arab Spring. Seeing stories like this bursting through restores faith and believe in the power of the media, and is a great example of what such a body can achieve. Personally, watching the stories unfold, and seeing the passion that they were reported with made me realise that I am actually quite lucky. The UK government is far from perfect, the country is ravaged by the recession, but look around you... Good public transport, education, facilities etc. We have so much that we take for granted. Being able to write this blog and say what I think of individuals is something millions of people will never had the right to do.

All the above opinions are made by a pretty normal guy, having a pretty average day. Take each comment and opinion as you will, feel free to mock or object, but remember whatever you do, look at the bigger picture next time you read a story in the news, and ask yourself.... Do I really care?

I thought I would commit to the web so I can at least check back and see if I stuck to it, rather than changing it in my head to fit how the day turned out.

Last night I had a great walk with the dogs, but as usual seem to have over done it a bit, and have been left with a sore foot again, so the plan wasn't to walk them this morning, and I didn't. I got up early as planned, did a few bits in the house then lounged for a bit. As planned.

Today I shall be having my last intake of proper food for a while, so going out with a bit of a bang, a little binge if you may. So from this point on, no more junk and prob no more food for a bit. There is a busy month ahead of me with plenty of distractions around me to keep my mind away from the temptations.

I also have a few things to plan and sort out, a couple of payments to make, and calls to make to arrange work. On the house following the plumbing and plastering. I'm looking forwards to getting the bathroom sorted properly once and for all, so must get these calls made.

On a side note, I saw workmen working on the vacant plot next to my house, clearing out the water from the ruined foundations, so maybe this signals a spring start to the rebuilding of a property there. Also very exciting, it will be nice to have a building there again after so long. Just hope there are no implications to my house as they build the place. Let's not worry about that for now eh.

So its off to work I go. Already in the knowledge that we are short staffed today and its going to be an interesting challenge. With Steve off for the next couple of weeks on paternity, and various other absences, we are a little thin spread, but hey, a challenge is good right.

Right, here comes my station, so that's me for now. My entry ends listening to Example, Split Personality..... That's SO me!

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However its not like the last. Today has been one of potential and where the fight back starts over. Positive moves, speaking my mind, and making the minutes count.

OK so the day started pretty poorly really with me over sleeping as I have already mentioned, but from that point on I like to think that I made sure things only got better.

Remembering how much drive and positive feeling music gives me, I managed to supercharge my morning with some dance tracks, and smile most of the way to work. Probably looking like a little bit of a nutter on the train. Walking down the road in the rain with a grin on my face probably did little for my image either. But you know what... Who cares what others think. This fight is in my head, and its there that I shall win or lose.

By Thursday I am going to start on the shakes again. 100% shakes, none of this mix and match I have been trying over and over. This is something I need to do, and after a kick up the bum and a message of support from 'Aunt Sally', I'm sure I'm doing this right. Reminding me that there are certain things in life that I cannot influence or change, and supporting the view that I can't take responsibility for everything and everyone in my life. Both important issues that I really needed someone else to confirm I was right to leave alone.

The next few weeks are all about me. My success, my future, and my feelings. For now everything else takes second place in my mind. By the time I reach 8th Feb I want to be focused and ready for the challenging days that lay ahead, and not confused and vulnerable as I have been over recent months.

Today I went to see my manager about a whole bunch of issues that have been getting to me, and I have no intention of hiding my feelings towards these matters. Work related issues that those involved in are aware of and clearly too arrogant to recognise what impact their actions have on others. Well, I for one am not about to stand by and watch bullshit like that. Especially after the way I was treated for daring to have a mental breakdown while my mother was dying. (How dare I indeed!)

So if I work with you, and you are reading this, ask yourself a question... Do you take the piss? And if the answer is yes, then maybe your ears burned a little today.

I also came clean about my overall feelings of satisfaction and happiness at work, and made it clear that I appreciate the wage, don't hate my job, but am certainly not happy there right now. But then I don't think I'm the only one.

All in all I got a lot off my chest today, and when I got home I felt mentally drained. Either from being a bit down, or having expended all that energy thinking about what to say to my manager, and actually putting it all out of there. On a plus, I managed a good long walk with the dogs tonight. They are both laying on the floor as I type, snoring, farting and twitching as they dream. Bless them, who needs kids when you have stinky farting dogs.

And that's a perfect link into my closing statement of the night.

Yesterday I spoke of friends, and how rare they are. Well tonight one of my friends of over 20 years now, is in hospital with his girlfriend awaiting the arrival of their first child. So I dedicate this entry to Steve and Anna, and wish them all the best in the labour and birth, and look forwards to seeing the little blighter some time soon. Congratulations guys. (PS I better get a BBM straight away!)

Thanks as ever for reading, and good night y'all.

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Everyone loves a funny story so here is one for you.. Someone buys a camera fraudulently with a stolen credit card via mail order, and has it shipped to them in another country. Using an address that isn't his, and assuming the occupant will be out, he places a note on the intercom for the apartment saying the buzzer is not working.

Unfortunately the courier delivering tried the buzzer first, got an answer and delivered the £1000 camera to the unassuming resident.

Meanwhile the guy has been calling the call centre all day insisting he hasn't been in at all today, and he didn't sign for anything, while the guy who answered the door and took it hasn't been seen since. The caller said a card had been left saying he missed delivery, but no card was ever written which proves he is lying, and didn't even know the colour of his apartment door. He had left a mobile number on the note, so was probably watching close by, waiting on the call, them would pretend to rush home to sign for the package at the building door, never needing access. Just wasn't counting on a courier trying the 'broken' buzzer first.

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Oops, I went to bed last night, early and full of promise. Planning to break the routine, be up early, get a good few miles in with the dogs and start over. Well needless to say I slept in a little later than planned, and its raining heavily outside, so how's that for a bad start to the day.

I am trying to find a sensible balance at the moment, to give myself enough time to walk the dogs, have a sensible amount of free time, and be able to do all the household stuff I need to do. Which I was still awake in time to do anyway.

However I don't want bundles of free time, to be bored and start filling my rounded face with even more junk. So its a delicate balance right now, at least until I can get myself on a roll.

Having done LighterLife, I know I have willpower, having overcome some real lows in life I know I have determination, and after some deep thinking last night, I know I have support. Now I just need the key, the catalyst, and the reason to sort myself out. Once I get started I know my mindset changes and my dedication is solid, just need those first few steps.

At least I know my brain is working again these days, I sure seem to be able to blog without too much of a problem, so that's something right :).

I have said this before, and I am gonna say it and try it again, I am going on a diet. Having tried other ways, I have decided the only way to go is full on shakes. The mix and match never really works because temptation is ever present having food in the house. Shakes are the way ahead, so once my supplies of fresh food in the house are gone, the fun begins.

So much changes when I'm in a determined and aggressive mindset, and right now, that's where I need to be, hungry to succeed, determined to achieve, and doing something for me for once. And there you have it, by the weekend I revert to a shakes only man, and hopefully return to being half the man I am now, literally.

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What are they? Its a word used all too often, and thrown about a little too easily, but what does it mean to you?
For me I break up people I associate myself with into 3 groups. And I don't take any of them lightly, so don't worry which group you fall into, you are in my life, so I want you there, therefore I care and am grateful for your presence.
The first group is acquaintances. While it seems very vague, to even associate myself with someone takes a great deal of trust, and a bit of respect. I don't like having the piss taken out of me, so an quite happy to drop people like a hot rock from this group if it is clear that things are not right.

Then there are my mates, people who I have known for years, people I would do most things to help. I would never want to see a mate in peril or a situation I could help them with, and will always do anything I can for them. Trusted with the more private parts of my life, and people I will confide in when the time comes. Most of my mates I have known for 10+ years, and there is a mutual reason that we continue to keep each other company.

Then we come to friends. Friends to me are a very small group of people who I would literally die for. People who I have no secrets from, and would trust with any aspect of my life. When I say a small group, I am talking about counting them on one hand. Having lost 2 of them in the past 18 months to an accident and a terminal illness, I guess I am missing something in my life. Like having 2 supports swept away from under me. But I am still left with a couple more.

I guess sometimes I get too dependent on the said few, and forget the numerous other people who are there and have stood by me for years now. I forget the mates that turn into my much closer friends, I forget how things develop through the stages of trust and respect, and for a short while I pile it all onto the couple of true friends I have left.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining that I only have a couple of friends, a couple of people that are truly that close to me, hell I'm blessed to have anyone I can trust that much at all. What I am saying is that I'm too dependent on those few, and not thankful or respectful enough for the other people around me.

So to YOU..... Yes you! Thank you for reading this, understanding what I am saying, and for always being there for me when I need you. It maybe days, months or years since we last spoke or saw one another face to face, but we both know that we have got each others backs 24-7, and feel safe knowing that someone is looking out for us. Acquaintances, you are a great bunch, and I love having you all about for your humour, your stories and your occasional company. Always keeping things lively, and supplying regular smiles to my day.

To my mates, you are a wonderful group of people, and I am honoured to know you, and blessed to have you around me. We have spent a number of years learning to trust each other, and showing respect. Some people just dive straight into this role, and feel so natural to have around me from day one. However lessons have been learned fron trusting people too soon.

Then there are the elite, the best of the best, the niche, the ones who I know are there for me as I am there for them. Thank you so very much for taking the time to care about me the way you do. And I hope never to lose another true friend for ANY reason until the day I die.

So, what do you consider a friend to be, and how are your circles of trust laid out? We are all different, and all have different ideas what role friends and family play in our lives. I would dare to say that some friends are more important than some family. Respect is earned and not just given.

The past few hours with comments and messages through Facebook and BBM have caused me to write this entry, and have this train of thought, and for that I am grateful. A little dig in the ribs to wake me up and remind me how much I have in my life to be truly thankful for...

Thank you for being there, and thank you for reading 🙂

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